Why does society want us to be self-conscious about our bodies?

In many cultures especially in Indian cultures girls (more importantly unmarried) are expected to be extremely thin/slim. If you are not, everybody from friends, to relatives, to neighbours and random strangers will give you tips or as we say “Desi tips” to use and get in shape.

I have been overweight as a child and I am even now as a 24 year old. I have been listening to multiple “ pieces of advice” and nodding my head every time. Be it weddings, conference or just a meet and greet everybody thinks they have the right to comment on my body shape. Who gave you this right? Did I ask you for your advice? Or was it the part of the event that said go around and comment on every girl’s body type?

Listening to people say how I am not enough just because I am overweight made me hate my body and feel less about myself for years. At the mere age of 14 I was told I have knock knees. This is caused due to lack of vitamin D and calcium. My knees were not the same as everybody else. I could not run properly or do many exercises or do sports like others. However, people think that a person is overweight because they are lazy and eat tons of junk food, they never think it’s just tough for some people. A lot of people commented on my body and how I am not beautiful because I am not size 6.

And it is not just society but the internet makes you feel bad about your own body. I googled overwieght synonyms and one word that came as a result was “Gross”. So basically according to my google research overiweight people are gross?

I tried my best to stay healthy and fit, I never liked the way my body looked when I danced or ran. I hated when I saw myself in the mirror and sometimes just felt like smashing it.

But I didn’t give up, I joined this dance class near my home. The dance teacher there made me feel at peace and made me fall in love with dancing. I loved myself and the fact that I was happy after dancing. It took me years to finally be able to accept my body and the way I look. But this did not last for long, in just 3 months of dancing I twisted my right knee. This happened in 2016 and my life has never been the same after that. I gained weight because I was restricted from doing even basic exercises at the gym like running and squats were out of the question.

After that, I started working full-time and sitting for 9 hours every day did not really help my body either. I gained further weight which weakened my knees. So now, to lose weight I need to exercise and if I did it would hurt like hell. That basically was a circle, to lose weight I can't work out and if I don't work out I can't lose weight.

In addition to that, I am a vegetarian and due to my religion (Jainism), I already don't eat a lot of vegetables which have a huge impact on my diet, especially my protein intake. I tried multiple diets and intermittent fasting but nothing worked. I gave up, I started disliking my body again and since I disliked my body I thought nobody will love me too.

Then, I read many articles and blogs about body positivity and slowly I started to accept my body and during this time I was planning my shift to London. I thought life is giving me a new chance and in a more developed country, I will be able to take care of myself more. However, this is my decision and not anybody else's.

It had been 5 months for me staying in London, this acquaintance of mine texted me to check up on me and he said I hope you don’t get fat in London? I was shocked by his question. How can you ask me this? I was like “umm, what?”

He replied - “ I thought you have moved to London, and looking at other beautiful and slim girls you might have become self-conscious about your own body and might have decided to do something about it”.

I was again taken aback. How can a person of my age, who is educated and living in the age of social media where multiple people talk about body positivity can even say this? I wanted to rant out to him that how do you know I never did anything to reduce my weight and live a healthy life before?

I calmed myself down and replied, “I love myself, So I won’t ever get

self-conscious”. I bet, I left him speechless and he did not expect this reply. At that moment I felt so good!!

So, I am sharing my experience that if anybody comments about your body type and gives you tips to lose or gain weight as they think well about you, you should take a deep breath and sympathise with them as life is difficult for people who find happiness in critizing others.