Humans logo

Why Do Guys Not Approach Me? 21 Tips for Being Much More Approachable

Do you ever question why men never approach you? The cause can be something really basic. Just work on becoming more personable around males!

By berry liPublished 2 years ago 11 min read
1

Contrary to popular belief, approaching guys or being hit on by them isn't actually a game of chance. And in contrast to what most women believe, you don't need to act outrageously or provocatively to get a male to flirt with you or approach you! The rest will be simple if you can only figure out how to be more approachable to guys.

The truth is, you could make any guy want to start a conversation with you within five minutes if you understood a guy's mind and what goes through it before he approaches a women! Why don't guys approach me? will become clear to you after you get that.

Why don’t guys hit on me?

Let’s imagine this scenario.

Every now and then, you go to a nearby pizza place during your lunch break.

They make great calzone, and you get to cross paths with a really cute guy that seems to share your love for stuffed dough – he’s always eating the same thing you are.

Must be a perfect twist of fate, right?

In an effort to run into each other frequently, you begin to visit the establishment. By virtue of familiarity, you hope he will eventually notice you.

And if you're lucky, he might come up to you and inquire as to if the seat next to you is still available. Oh, if only you could get him to visit and speak with you!

However, he doesn't. He is not the only one, either. Last week, the attractive man in the bar and countless, countless other men experienced the same thing.

You start wondering ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’

Don’t worry, there’s nothing wrong with you. You just need to learn how to be more approachable to guys.

How to be more approachable to guys and not seem easy

Do you ever feel like you could do with more attention from the guys around you? Especially when you walk into a new place or a regular hangout and see a cute guy who’s definitely worth a shot? Do you often wonder ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’

Here are a few things you need to keep in mind if you want to win the edge over all the other girls in the room, and catch a guy’s eye.

1. Appear well!

This is as basic as it gets, despite how simplistic it may sound. A guy's first impression of a girl is everything when he approaches her. When a guy enters a room, it usually just takes him a few glances to decide whether or not he wants to approach a girl.

It basically makes life easier for you and teaches you how to be more personable if you dress nicely and look beautiful.

2. Avoid appearing busy.

Try not to spend too much time on your phone, in a book, or doing something else. You might be trying to pass the time because you're bored.

However, it's likely that if you do that, the guy who wants to approach you will retreat. He'll assume you're too preoccupied to have a chat with him.

3. Don't strain yourself.

The disadvantage of looking too well for the guy goes against the first piece of advice on looking attractive. Most guys would be too intimidated to approach you if you were a stunning beauty who makes all the guys around you drool or try to sneak glances at you all the time!

If there’s one thing guys fear more than anything else while approaching women, it’s the fear of rejection or worse, humiliation!

Most guys may just assume you’re way above their league and they’re not worthy of your attention. Simply put, if you look very attractive, you’ll scare most guys away!

But then again, on the other hand, the only guys who feel confident enough to approach you would be the guys who think they’re worthy of you. Those are the alpha males, the achievers, and of course, the players! You don’t want to learn how to be more approachable to that kind of guy!

If you really want to catch the eye of a shy guy who seems nice but is too scared to approach you, try being friendly and warm to the people around you. It always helps!

4. Don't wear something overly suggestive.

Avoid dressing as though you have nothing to conceal. Sure, you'll catch everyone's eye, but the only guys you'll attract are those searching for a fast one-night stand.

Naturally, dressed provocatively would help you attract a nice guy, but only if your appearance is sensual rather than overtly sexual.

Keep in mind that you don't need to show off your entire body to attract a man's attention. He will still notice you if you're attractive and fascinating.

5.Eye contact 

If you frequently ask "why don't males hit on me," your lack of eye contact may be to blame. Make intermittent eye contact with him and give him the occasional glance.

Don't, however, go overboard by attempting to attract his attention all the time. He might only think you're too carefree and dismiss you.

6. The swift and deliberate gaze away

There are two methods to approach a guy and express interest. You can utilize either one or the other, based on what feels most natural to you. Additionally, it will teach you how to approach guys more easily.

a. The deliberate look

As you glance across the room, cast a casual glance his way and make brief eye contact while giving him a little smile.

After then, slowly avert your gaze and focus your attention elsewhere. This is a bolder and more certain method to express your interest in the guy.

b. The quick glance

And for the quick and coy approach, you could look towards him suddenly when he’s staring at you, catch his eye, and immediately look at a friend or look down in an obvious manner.

Smiling to yourself at that moment will only make you appear cuter and sweeter in his eyes!

7. Facilitate his task

For a male to approach a girl when she is with a large group of friends is scary. If your goal is to approach or meet guys, attempt to spend some time alone or perhaps with another girlfriend.

8. Spend time in appropriate locations

Not every setting is ideal for having casual chats. Choose a spot that's ideal for casual talks where nobody will turn around to watch what's going on if you want a guy to approach you.

There are countless opportunities for a guy to strike up a discussion with you in coffee shops, bars, or book stores.

9. Drop some suggestions to him

Make eye contact with the guy you admire several times, even if you're around other people. When you feel that he is ready to speak with you, take a few minutes to yourself to look around or get a drink at the bar.

You can't say, "Why don't guys hit on me?" if you don't give him the chance.

10. Smile

Increase your chances of being approached by guys by coming across as warm and approachable. Any female who wishes to grab a guy's attention might benefit much from being pleasant at first glance!

11. Don’t appear bored

Have fun and be positive no matter where you are. Positivity draws positivity. And a happy girl draws happy guys who love their life.

If you’re grumpy or appear stiff or bored, even a guy who really likes you may think twice about approaching you because you may seem boring and dull.

12. Don’t be rude

If you’re rude to anyone, be it a waiter or one of your friends, odds are, the guy who wants to approach you will back away immediately. No one likes rude people, and no guy would want to strike up a conversation with a girl who may snap at him or insult him for approaching her!

13. Don’t hang out with guys

This is a big one that’s something you always need to remember. Don’t ever hang out with guy friends if you want to get approached by a guy. It’s just not going to happen!

14. Show him you’re interested

Let him know that you’re interested in getting to know him better. Even if you’re talking to your friend and he’s sitting at the next table, look towards him when he looks at you even as you answer your friend.

15. Show off your coy and girly side

Look at him now and then, and when you catch his eye, tuck your hair behind your ear, look down and smile to yourself. It may seem like a small gesture to you, but to a guy, it’s jackpot!

16. Tease him

Just as you walk past him, make eye contact with him. He will enjoy the subtle attention if you tease him! You need to start teasing people if you want to find out why men aren't interested in you.

17. Don’t push it

You’re just embarrassing yourself if you push it too far. Guys aren’t dumb, and if you glance at him a few times or smile in his direction, he knows already that you’re ready to be approached.

Some guys just don’t have the courage to make a move, while there may be a few guys who probably aren’t interested in approaching you whatever their reasons may be *married, dating, gay, coward?

18. Leave your electronic devices alone

Few things scream “stay away!” like constantly having your phone in your hands. It doesn’t matter if you are talking, texting, or surfing the net, it is as if you’ve hung a big do-not-disturb sign over your forehead. The same goes for your laptop or basically any device that you are completely swallowed up by.

The only somewhat acceptable exception is if you are reading an ebook or an article truly worthy of your undivided attention.

Believe it or not, this will show on your face, in your posture, and the general impression you make on people, giving you a more thoughtful and intelligent look.

19. Don’t act like you’re too good to be there

To learn how to be more approachable, you need to drop your airs and graces. There is a very fine line between having good self-esteem and being an obnoxious narcissist. And while we’re sure you know which side of that line you’re on, it’s quite possible it doesn’t appear the same way from another’s perspective.

That frown and those half muttered words with which you dismiss everything and everyone around you can easily be interpreted as the doings of an uptight egomaniac. In other words, not exactly the type of girl guys would line up for!

We’re not suggesting that you lower your standards and settle for less than you deserve. You could, however, work a bit on your patience, like giving a place five minutes before deciding you’re the best thing in it.

20. Don’t appear too easy

There is nothing wrong with going out and looking for a good time. We’ll say it again, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have fun, just as long as you know the difference between being a cheerful flirt and easy pickings.

We don’t mean to sound like your grandma and give you a lecture on how men won’t respect you when you’re too easy.

But the truth is, if you throw yourself at guys all over the place, you’ll only end up looking desperate. And girls who appear desperate and easy don’t get the guy they really want.

The great guys that leave you drooling and biting your lip, they like a conquest. Not necessarily having to fight a dragon for the right to kiss the princess, but at least a little something to tickle their male ego and make them feel like they earned it, and beat the rest of the competition to it.

21. Give him opportunities to catch you by yourself.

You and your buddies are having a joy while out and about, looking amazing, laughing, and dancing. There's also this cute guy you believe is interested in you, which heightens the tension. What a night, indeed!

But why doesn't he come over? You are confident that he is interested in you at this point because it is obvious that you have his attention. Why the heck?

You're aware of the adage "safety in numbers"? The only safety you gain from never leaving the group when you're flirting is an almost impenetrable barrier between you and any interested men.

Allow the unfortunate guy to capture you by himself. Get a drink at the bar, go outside for some fresh air, or think up another reason to wander off from your buddies for a while.

If he’s not approaching you, it’s time to take control

And that’s that, your go-to-guide when it comes to the old nerve-wracking question of ‘why don’t guys hit on me?’ By following these tips you’ll also learn how to be more approachable to guys. 

Now that you have your game on, ladies, remember this tiny, little detail – no one ever said you couldn’t go after at guy yourself and prove all of his misconceptions about you wrong.

You can easily work your magic without coming off as a female who is too easy if you utilize these simple tips and tactics on how to be more approachable to boys. If you've ever wondered, "Why don't guys hit on me," just use them!

dating
1

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.