When He's Too Good To Be True

I have been through this scenario a few times, and you would think I'd learn after the first time, but each time sounds so real, so absolutely wonderful, that I have fallen into the same game more than once. I would like to warn other ladies of the pitfalls of falling for a guy online who sounds perfect so they don't have to go through what I have gone through.

There are five things each of these guys have in common, and these are the five things that happened to me in each relationship.

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1. He Finds You When You Weren't Looking..

I belonged to the online dating site on Facebook. Sometimes, I would see a guy I was interested in based on his interests and choices in life, such as if he smokes or not, drinks or not, or where he lives. However, several times I had guys pop up who showed more than normal interest in me, guys who I never invited into my space, but suddenly had a massive interest in me.

2. He Shows Strong Emotion Too Early..

It takes time to get to know another person, and time to say the words, "I love you" to the other person. The guys who are playing you usually tell you they love you right away, that they don't want to be with anyone else because they feel like you are the one and only, the one they were meant to be with. This can happen in a relationship, but not usually after one week.

3. He Has a Child In College in Another Country..

I'm not at all sure why, but every one of these guys said they had a grown daughter in college in another country. One of them said she was visiting in another country but came back to the US to attend college and stayed in a hotel, which sounded very expensive and made no sense. Perhaps they thought if made them seem responsible by having a child in college, but if it was another country it couldn't be checked on as easily. I'm not really sure.

4. They Want to Meet Right Away

It's usually an urgent desire to meet you right away, a need to be with you and part of your life. One guy just couldn't manage to do anything but think about me and just had to meet me and be in my life. The only problem is there can be a reason they can't get to you, and usually it's financial.

5. The Financial End Game

The end game for these guys is to con money out of you. By now they figure you are totally enamored with them, have maybe even told them you love them too. They have to meet you, but for some reason their bank account has been frozen or tampered with and they need the money to get to you, and of course they say they will pay you back. You can tell them you don't have the money but they will come up with a bunch of different ways for you to get it, such as borrowing from family or friends, and they reinforce this with the need to be with you and how much they love and miss you.

The above is only one scam, but the biggest money scam is they tell you they have to go to another country for work, but when they get there they suddenly need money for a computer or equipment that they need to finish their work so they can get back to the country and come see you. They tell you they can't access their money, but will definitely pay you back if you just send the $300 or $600 they need immediately.

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I have handled it in many different ways, but my favorite way is to tell them I'll get it to them the next day, and then when I go offline I block them and report them. These guys tend to pick on women who are vulnerable and they feel if they flatter these women and offer them a great life with them as a partner, they will succeed because the women they are pursuing are lonely, older, divorced, or vulnerable in some way. The entire scenario can be completely disturbing, unnerving, and leave a woman feeling let down and hesitant to talk to the next man who shows interest.

Be careful when dating through any online dating service. There are a lot of strange people out there, people you don't ever want in your life, and a lot of people who want to take advantage of others. I had a good friend who got involved with a guy who said he was a truck driver, and he wanted her to come live with him. Then he said he was stuck in New York and needed money to get back to her, but when she sent the money he went to California. He sent her a cashiers check for over $4,000 but the check was no good, it was fake. She had really liked him and had even packed all her belongings in anticipation of moving in with him, and then she found out he was a scam artist. She never quite got over that one, so don't let yourself fall into the same trap, stay aware.

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