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What You Need To Know About Dating Hot Girls (From My Hot Girl Friends)

And why your assumptions hurt you and them.

By Ellen "Jelly" McRaePublished 8 months ago 6 min read

I used to hang out with a group of girls dubbed the hot girls. There were a lot of us. More than I could handle in the long run.

Who dubbed them this? Well, it wasn't me and it wasn't them. 

It was a collective of friends and the men we dated who slapped this label on us.

As a side note, we didn't mind people calling us the hot girls because we weren't like that when we first met back at school. 

We blossomed in our twenties when we learned how to dress and do our make-up like grown-ups. Anyone who says women get worse with age never realised what maturity does to how a woman looks. She knows how she wants to look and feel the older she gets. 

Confidence translates into beauty. It's wonderful to watch.

Anyway, back to the hot girls. We knew once we labelled this, the stereotypes would follow. 

Thanks to movies like Mean Girls and Clueless (two of my favourites by the way), the hot girls look like a disaster to date. 

They look impossible to obtain, and their perceived high maintenance means they are too hard to sustain in the long run.

Well, that's all complete crap, if you ask me. 

Here's what it's really like dating a hot girl.

Someone has called them ugly

This arrogance everyone assumes about a hot girl is usually a facade a society puts onto these women. 

Everyone of my "good-looking" friends had someone call them ugly at some point in their life.

Looks are subjective. 

Insulting someone's looks whether you mean it or not is a great way to hurt someone if you really want to dig the boot in. 

And the hots girls aren't immune. They aren't special. They've had their looks insulted as much as the next person.

You can't judge a book by its cover. 

You can't assume they have no idea about what it's like to have your looks analysed and judged. They've been there too. There's nothing to say they have this ironclad confidence, either. 

They're as self-conscious as you are, too.

They struggle to find guys like the "ugly" girls do

A hot girl can't walk up to a guy and get a date with whoever they want. 

If that were true, I wouldn't have any single life horror stories of my friends to write about. It would be all fiction (and trust me, most of it sounds like fiction but happened).

The dating world is cruel. Everyone knows that. 

Hot girls spend their life thrown around the dating whirlwind as much as the next person. Probably what sucks the most is that no one seems to believe it happens. 

The hot girls in movies always get the guy. Because of course, what happens in movies happens in real life….

I'll drop the sarcasm.

They care about their appearance and it's not a crime

Hot girls tend to care about their appearance more than most. 

It's not a hard and fast rule, a generalisation. But if they don't care about their looks, everyone assumes they do. From this assumption, people assume this side of their personality makes them too hard to date.

Who wants to date a vain person focused on their physical appearance?

It's a vicious cycle for the hot girls. 

Not only is this inaccurate for some, but putting your physical appearance as a priority in your life doesn't mean you exclude all other things. A man, job, friends, and family, don't come second. 

And it's not all they're capable of talking about.

By the way, you're always going to meet a hot girl who defies this. I'm not saying this is the rule. Yet, from my experience, it's not so cut and dry. I'm sure you have the experience to say otherwise.

They've been called high maintenance

The bain of the hot girls' existence; someone calling them high maintenance. 

Because you put effort into how you look, and because your natural good looks come with assumed power, you expect more of who you date. You expect a man to dote over you. You expect unreasonable demands from any person you date.

P-lease. What a cliche.

Hot girls share no difference in expectation of respect and commitment than any other girl expects of their partner. Truly, no different.

And I believe anyone in the past who has dated a hot girl and broke up with her because she was too high maintenance was lazy.

They're covering the fact they couldn't be bothered putting in the real effort to be with a woman by blaming her looks.

I always find it interesting when a guy breaks up with a hot girl and then lowers their standards and still finds they need to put in the effort.

It's not a hot girl problem at all. It's a relationship problem.

They actually have a personality

Please don't fall for the idea that hot girls don't have a personality, interests, intelligence, or all those good things.

Especially if you meet a hot girl with a degree and a high-paying job, you know as well as I do, they don't hand those out because you look good.

My friends constantly lamented how men wouldn't even try to get to know them. Or see what they had to offer past their looks.

My friends were often called Friday girls based on their looks. Good enough for the fun times but not the type of girl you bring home to your mother. Those are the Sunday girls. Beautiful but plain. Intelligent yet boring. Unobjectionable.

For some reason, men thought if you had good looks, you couldn't be boring. Or that someone else might think you are plain. Or that a mother could approve and see through all that vain nonsense.

Judging a book by its cover? I warned you of how inaccurate it is.

They worry you'll dump them if their looks change

And if you fall for a hot girl because she's hot, what happens when she's not hot anymore? 

We never stay the same way for the rest of our lives. We will get wrinkles. Body parts will sag. We will gain weight. We won't dress like a hot girl anymore. What then?

Now who's high maintenance, huh?

Seriously though, hot girls get accused of having impossible standards. But what about the standards placed on them? One change of the looks and you're out of there.

They know there is someone hotter out there to tempt you

When it eventually happens, and our looks change in a way you don't approve of, the man finds another hot girl. 

Or, if it's not our looks changing, it's that someone hotter comes along. We know thanks to years of experience, we get cheated on. Hot girls aren't immune from wandering eyes. 

Look at what happened with Adam Levine. He cheated on a Victoria's Secret model.

As if it's easier being a hot girl. We're just like the rest.

If you're going to date a woman…

Who really cares if she's "hot" or not? Looks are subjective. Who's hot or not is a matter of opinion. In reality, this doesn't boil down to what to know about "hot girls". 

It's about dating any person because of their looks. 

And what you think you know about someone based on the very limited knowledge you have of them; their looks. 

Don't fall in love with anyone because of their looks. 

Don't assume you know everything because a person looks a certain way. 

And don't assume a person does what they do, feels how they feel, because they look a certain way.

It's a cop-out. It's assumptions that are bound to backfire. Don't do it to the people you date. 

And more importantly, don't do it to yourself.


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About the Creator

Ellen "Jelly" McRae

I’m here to use my wins and losses in #relationships as your cautionary tale | Writes 1LD; Cautionary tale #romance fiction |

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