What Is Love?

What is love? That's a question that's been around since the beginning of time. Poets and songwriters have attempted to describe and mine the depths of love. Movie stars have acted out scenes that show people in love. .

We spend so much time watching these movies and television shows that portray love as a fairy tale or one that is signified by grand, larger than life gestures. We hear people talking about falling in and out of love. Yet so much of what we hear, read and see doesn't show the reality of what love really is. The truth is, love isn't always glamorous. It isn't always sunshine and rainbows. It isn't always being in a state of euphoria. Love doesn't always come easily and effortlessly.

You see, contrary to popular belief, love isn't all about feelings and emotions. We live in a society that talks about being "in love" and people are all giddy about their relationships. There's nothing wrong with that either. It's an incredible feeling to be in love with someone special. And there will definitely be those moments when you are overcome with the emotions of being “in love”.

But what do you do when the feelings wear off? What happens when you just don't feel "in love" anymore? Because, let’s face it, there will come times just like that. It may come after a big fight or disappointment. It may happen when we start to compare ourselves to others and their relationships. But it will happen at some point if we are together for any length of time.

I believe one of the biggest reasons that relationships (especially marriages) don't last is because we buy into the lie that if we don't feel "in love" all the time then something is wrong. The truth is, love is much more than just a feeling; it's also a decision.

When we find that special someone, no doubt our emotional connection is vital, but those feelings will go away at some point. It could be when you wake up next to them with bad breath and messy hair day in and day out. Maybe it's when you realize the person you've committed your life to isn't as perfect as you originally thought. What do you do then?

That's where love being a choice comes in. In those moments, you have to make decision to love that person even though you may not like them very much right then. Will you look for a way out when the going gets tough? Or will you recommit yourself to loving your spouse even though you may not feel "in love" at the moment?

It's not easy and it's not glamorous. But it's worth it. In the moments when you're ready to throw in the towel, take a moment to remember what brought you together. Guys, as you look at your wife who may be exhausted from chasing the kids around all day and has her baggy sweats on, remember that she's the one who has loved and cared for you in the good times and bad. Ladies, your husband may not always get it right and he may not be the most romantic or affectionate person, but he's been the rock you've leaned on many times before.

Your relationship may feel like it's so fragile that it could break under the slightest pressure, but you still have each other. You may not feel in love right this moment. But are you willing to make the decision to love each other even though you may be struggling to like each other? You need each other in these moments. Instead of looking for a way out, seek those opportunities to encourage and help each other. One day you will look back on these moments and be thankful that you didn't give up!