Welcome To My Heart. How May I Serve You Today?
Outside the day-to-day bustle of catering to bosses, creditors, and children, The Realm of Relationship Zen is a place we most feel compelled to voice our demands and carve out a little for ourselves.
This is the singular area in our lives where we believe our passions and emotional needs SHOULD be met with the warmest invitations and the swiftest reciprocations for gestures previously rendered by us. This entitlement is very attainable... however misplaced the flow chart is.
When I met my wife, I knew that I wanted all the spoils which had been illustrated and indirectly promised to me in countless books, movies, and folklore; that Forever Love.
The kind that is impervious to fading from time, financial ruin, and opportunist thoughts. A place where a man can watch the uninterrupted Playoff Game, and where his counterpart can walk into a pristine lavatory, reeking of pine and lavender and find the toilet seat down and toothpaste cap on! Ahhhhhh... this is my cave. This is my sanctuary. And I was starving; salivating for a bite of that Automatic Love. But where can we find such a loving partner? Is this type of mutual respect and thoughtfulness contagious? What I didn’t realize was where my growing, amorous feelings were taking me, was a path leading to my heart's desires via daily acts of selflessness towards my partner. These acts eventually developed into a mantra of sorts which began with the following statement.
"Welcome to my heart. How may I serve you today?"
Now the interrogative form of this sentence may leave one to question whether it is in fact a "statement" of conviction. But I assure you that as I internally repeat this mantra to myself each day, my firm inside voice solidifies my commitment with it's imperative tone. My vow to her is recharged. My brain begins to ponder the array of smile-conjuring options... until I make my choice. A choice which is made, not with the assumption of reciprocity yet instead with the faith that the woman I chose to marry is on the exact same page as I and will act (not REact) with the same confident faith! A faith that will not waiver so long as our minds are focused. A faith which will withstand so long as we both mutually agree to being committed to each other. This love can and will endure so help us God!
The moral: To first recognize and understand that a lifetime of eternal bliss is built one day at a time by compulsive acts of kindness, sweetness, and thoughtfulness. I believe that if I take care of her, she will more than take care of me. And although we're still newlyweds, I'll put ALL my money on a love that rejuvenates and renews daily... rather than the alternative. George Clooney said it best in the movie Up In The Air, "….life’s better with company." I couldn’t agree more.
Many people fail because they stop courting after a commitment is reached. They stop buying the flowers and the candy. They stop dressing sexy and wearing sexy clothing. You must make a conscious effort each day to live up to the vows you have both taken. An understanding must be mentally embedded that you now have the ultimate Plus One. Since our marriage in ’14, we’ve been pretty glued at the hip; only spending maybe 3 days apart. We enjoy each other’s company to the fullest and spending time together has become such a habit that it would be very difficult to break. I encourage you all to plan to spend more quality time together, for once you broach the point of being inseparable, you’ll live there for all eternity. And isn’t that point of marriage?