Understanding Women - The Affair and why women have them.

Most people are under the impression that the main reason that most women embark on an extramarital affair is that they are getting their own back on their husband. However you will be surprised to know that according to a recent pole, only 7% of affairs by women are retaliatory in nature. So with this in mind, why do women have affairs? And what are the main reasons behind it.

Starting off please be aware that the affair that a woman would be planning will first start in her mind and heart. The results some men find, in some cases on a computer after the wife has been visiting online dating sites is well after the fact of the relationship problems that existed prior and now are manifested. This comes from the basic deep desire to be 'swept off her feet' along with some rather 'romantic' tones however immoral they are, this may seem (feel) rational to her. So she would seek a partner through online dating sites or online relationships sites not just the usual friend or acquaintance.

This process may start with dissatisfaction in a relationship, loneliness or simply an emotional desire that has gotten out of hand and led itself to a romance novel, soap opera, male friend or online dating site.

It is good to note that the one main reason why a woman will have an affair is indeed for emotional gratification. Women need to feel a close emotional connection with their husband or partner, as this will over time lay the foundations for a strong marriage relationship bond. It is this security that women want in a relationship, and if their partner is not meeting their emotional needs, then this is when a woman will most likely find it in another way. Not always from a romance novel either. With the advent of computers and online dating sites, this increases the opportunities as well.

Improvement of self-esteem can be another reason as to why women will want to have affairs. This goes back to the relationship orientation of a woman and deep down desire to feel completely loved. Everybody likes to think that they are still attractive to their partner, but as a relationship or marriage goes on, there might be an element of doubt creeping in to her as to whether her spouse still finds her attractive. And if the husband is not helping his wife on a romantic emotional level, she may start wandering. And with the availability of many forms of communication and 'instant gratification' through online dating social sites, this can further the problems. And although the man may assume that the woman knows that he loves her deeply, if he does not tell her how attractive she is, or that she looks beautiful in a particular outfit, or in some other way or form of appreciation, then the woman's self esteem might well be low and shell have a 'emotional hole' in her heart. Over a period of time this can have a detrimental effect upon the relationship. In some cases a women might look to another man who is willing to shower her with attention and compliments, or one she thinks would be willing to do this. Remember, affairs are emotional then physical and not based on love or deliberate will.

Another reason that a woman might embark on an affair is for new and varied sexual experience. This is particularly easier with the advent of the internet (not it is not just guys) and of course, online dating and online relationship sites. If sex between a couple is boring and no longer exciting in any way, a woman might find that she is lacking the emotional connection and thrill that the physical act of great sex coupled with well planned romance can bring. And with the vast array of photos and profiles to look through on an online dating site, if her needs are great enough and the opportunity arises then she will find a partner, maybe not actively, but possibly subconsciously, albeit a one night stand, casual affair or a long term relationship with whom she can fulfill these needs.

To answer the question why do women have affairs in short form? The rationale is really because they don't feel emotionally fulfilled. Emotional fulfillment comes on so many levels, it could be from something as simple as a partner holding them when they are upset, or being told that they are loved and desired. When this need is not being met by their partner, and they are lonely in their relationship or marriage then the women is far more likely to embark on an affair.