To the Girl Who’s Allowing Herself to Be an Option Instead of a Priority
You're a queen. You should be someone's priority.
Just because there are hundreds of options on Tinder to choose from doesn’t mean you need to be one.
It doesn’t mean that you should allow your standards to slip. It doesn’t mean that you should settle. It doesn’t mean that you should let it affect your self-worth. Just because he makes you feel like an option doesn’t mean that you are one.
Modern dating means “casually" date multiple people at once instead of just one. Endless options at the swipe of a thumb. Not taking the time to really get to know someone and saying adios at the first sign of trouble because there's always a backup.
He isn’t bummed if things don’t work out with you because he wasn’t really counting on them working out anyhow. If he was, he wouldn’t be talking to multiple people and be on a date with you.
But, that’s the thing. You deserve more than that. You don’t deserve to be someone’s option. You don’t deserve to be someone’s back up date. You don’t deserve someone who you have to make excuses for and sacrifice your standards for. Someone you have to constantly forgive for messing up. Someone who makes you constantly question where you stand, what it all means. You don’t deserve to be someone’s second choice if things don’t work out with the other person they’re seeing. You don’t need someone who feels like it would be a waste of time to just date you and see where things go from there. If they can’t invest time now, what makes you think they will later? You don’t need to be with someone who can’t commit to be with you. Someone who will take you on a date and not just hang out. Someone who refused to label what you are because they don’t want to commit to you. You deserve someone whose intentions are clear.
You don’t deserve to feel like you’re fighting for someone who isn’t fighting for you. Darling, you’re fighting for a spot in someone’s life who doesn’t see your value. You’re treating them as a priority while they’re treating you like an option. Please understand that no amount of effort makes a difference to someone who doesn’t deserve to be with you.
"But you deserve to be fought for, this is what I need you to know.”-R.h Sin
I’m not saying full commitment or relationship status on date one or anything like that. Feelings take time to develop. It’s important to not move at the right pace. What I’m saying is you deserve someone who is committed to getting to know you and only you. Seeing one person at a time doesn’t make things serious. You deserve someone who sees how amazing you are and doesn’t want to "try things" with someone else. Someone who isn’t half-assing dating you because the rest of their effort is going toward someone else. Someone who actually remembers the things you guys talked about and doesn’t accidentally send you a “picture” that was supposed to go to "the other girl.” Someone that won’t ghost you. Someone who won’t just text you when they’re bored. Someone who doesn’t just hit you up late at night. Someone who is focused on you. Someone who wants to spend time with you and gives you the attention you deserve. Someone who is sure about you.
“You’re too good for someone who isn’t sure about you.”-Atticus
You deserve someone that doesn’t leave you questioning if you're their priority. If you are the only girl they’re seeing. If they like you more than the other girl they’re seeing. If the reason they haven't texted you back is because they’re with someone else. You deserve someone that doesn’t make you feel like you’re competing for them. Someone who isn’t comparing you to someone else. Someone that doesn’t feel like a prize, but makes you feel like a prize.
We’ve become okay with having something that’s undefined when we really want something defined. We’re okay with having options and being an option when we want to be a priority because it’s become the norm. We’ve accepted it because we’ve think it’s too much to ask for someone to only see us. But, how would you know if you never ask? Ask for what you want and if someone isn’t cool with that, you don’t need them. It’s pretty simple, if you like someone, you like them. If you don’t know how you feel about someone, you probably shouldn’t be dating them in the first place.
It all comes back to you. You have to know your worth and how you deserve to be treated. If someone can’t see your value, you shouldn’t wait around for them to. You have to have standards that don’t bend just because your love life isn’t exactly ideal. You can’t settle with today’s standard of dating. What you want is only too much if you think it is. You can’t be okay with being someone’s choice because you shouldn’t be waiting around to be chosen. You can’t wait around forever for someone to decide to choose you. At some point, you need to choose you. You can’t be afraid to walk away. No one is worth waiting forever for and someone that knows how they feel about you won’t make you wait. You’re too good for that. You’re worth more than that. You deserve more. But, you have to determine that you deserve more.
If you’re allowing yourself to be someone’s option, you’re giving them way too much power. You deserve to be with someone that wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with them. You deserve to be with someone who isn’t already look for your replacement.
"She chose herself because you refused to."-R.h Sin
If you want to be treated as a priority, you have to act like you’re a priority. Priorities don’t allow themselves to be treated as options and they walk away from anyone that doesn’t see them as that. If you want to be someone’s priority, you can’t be with someone who only talks to you when it’s convenient.
You deserve so much. You’ve just forgotten that you deserve to be a someone's priority and nothing less.
"You deserve something you don’t have to question. You deserve someone who is sure about you.”-R.h Sin