To give an Extension of Friendship

When I We all face this invisible crossroads with a comrade.

If it's the friend from the past to the present that has always been a prominent person in our life. If it's someone in the present that was an acquaintance or a casual friend, and eventually became a steady friend with hopes it could be a wonderful friendship apart of our timelines. Either side of the spectrum, new or not. It doesn't change that something changed or became noticed that makes the re-considering of that extension of friendship.

A couple of days ago, I was discussing my concerns for this invisible burden to a friend of mine to understand my stress for what I have been thinking about. She gave me a neutral, realistic pieces of advice to comfort me for this revelation and it made me change the way I saw this. I used to have the mindset that I was the villain because I was the one that saw the negatives. Now I can see that I am not the bad guy, it's just my evolution. We see these turns in the people we were close with and only we see that something is wrong, maybe not to them because they may not see what see what effect they are doing to us and how it's weighing heavily. Too focused on themselves to see what minimal effort has contributed to the draining on the friendship. Maybe they are aware of what they have done, that has effected on a friend and choose ignorance.

It could have turned toxic, It could have turned sour, but something started going awry. We excuse the behavior for now however for how long. Friendship doesn't always become an excuse for abiding by someone's actions in the time that has been spent.

That deal to become a partner in each other's corner, that contract, somehow it got amended. Now the decision to cut the contact or make some revisions to the hang-outs. It all becomes convoluted and confusing how someone that was supposed to be two people facing the world together, having road trips together, and being the other's person. Now it's changed and now the fate of that friendship falls to the recipient to fix or forget.

Somehow something got sullied in the thought of spending time with someone. The feeling changed from excitement to irritation, the idea to take time for them becomes a chore. It shouldn't have to feel like that about a person we held in high regards.

But amidst the revelation, nothing can be said despite the answer being clear, the fine lie is used quite often. Excuses are piled on-top of the frustrations of not addressing the concealed concerns. Something may have been said in the past to try and make it work, to believe it can work. Now it just means it's on deaf ears with no other resolution then to disband, the voice gets hoarse and the heart hurts from this heavy revelation.

Sometimes we can't address what is wrong, because it could be taken in the wrong context. Then the burden to bear continues to grow. Suffering with the mask that everything is equal in the friendship. To intend and interpret and make them align. In hindsight it is the answer. But, that can never be perfectly executed.

The idea then changes the comrade concept in our minds to evaluate who to associate with. That it shouldn't have to feel exhausting to be someone's friend.

Sometimes it's that we change our values and placement in our own evolution. We have an organized idea of who we want in our lives, knowing that we need to be careful who we let into our lives. To change who we extend our offer of friendship to.

It's a tough slice of life that has to be faced or at least acknowledged to prepare and pre-cope for what will come.

No one expects someone will change in a way that makes it difficult to be friends with someone, the choices they make are their own consequence, they are not yours to bear. They make their bed, they have to lay in it. You can care, but you aren't responsible for caring of every action to feel with them. Because will they care for your actions in the same compassion? Sometimes yes and usually no.

No one expects to think that a promising friendship turned out to be a mental exhaustion that altered the original premise of friendship.

No one expected friendships to be complicated, but that's why there has to be more of logical analysis to be careful who stays for the long haul or has a possibility of being placed in the circle of friends.

I've had to make the decision that I no longer believe in best friends, only friends or acquaintances to help my heart from being stained and drained of love and compassion. It's a tough trial to go through in setting that boundary before the extend of friendship happens.

There are people that can be included in your life, but it shouldn't include ones that cause concern and doubt. Sometimes it doesn't have to be quality that makes them a worse person, nor you. It just means it is time to go from the crossroads.