These 8 Things Help Women Push Men Away

My intention when I began writing, speaking and coaching was to help the male community. To help my brothers become better and more evolved. My audience is 80% women and 90% of my clients are female.

Why?

Women who want a male perspective on things need to know the truth about men's thoughts and why they aren't getting the results they desire.

Over the years, I have become less filtered in my counsel. Being open and honest is what people seeking answers need.

In the hope of helping you, we will discuss eight common topics that have arisen during these conversations.

You can say "HeY, tHaT? fOr MeN ofcourse it does." Although many (but not all) of these points can be considered gender neutral, this article was written specifically for female clients who have the same concerns and questions that I address in one concise list.

Let's get started now that we have touched on the inevitable comment.

1: The "strong, independent women" dilemma

T His one is it's very difficult to talk but that makes it an unquestionably important topic.

I've spent years researching equality and elevating women. Women outperform men in education and professional pursuits. As a feminist, I consider myself to be a passionate supporter every human being's freedom to choose,well and all in their private lives and bodily autonomy.

However, men can be sent mixed messages by adopting the sometimes staunch stance taken by an independent lady.

Men may interpret this as a woman claiming that she doesn’t need a man in the home. In truth, she doesn’t. She may make more than him, be better educated, have a kid without him, and be able to own her own home.

constantly reminding men that this is only going to make them leave is the problem.

They will feel unimportant, unwanted and undervalued.

If you have all the things you need, they'll begin to wonder what you can add to your life.

They will feel insecure.

They might even feel belittled.

It's good for you to show your independence . The right man will be inspired and not intimidated by your strength.

It's not about what you say, it's about how you say it.

Show your strength in a way you can be a teammate, a partner, and someone with whom you can build a life .

A man desires to feel loved, and even required in a relationship. He wants to feel that he brings something unique and special to your life. He'll look elsewhere if he doesn’t feel he belongs.

2: Push for too much too quickly

It's difficult to meet people, that's clear.

Sometimes, it can be easy to feel like we just got a new toy or present when we meet someone who is interested in us.

We want to play with every new toy we receive. THE. TIME.

A toy does not have its own life, hobbies and friends.

A toy cannot feel smothered.

Humans can. If they feel uneasy about the speed at which things move, they will begin to pull away from you, sometimes without explanation.

Ironically, this is why it is so easy to lose someone too often.

It also sends the message they are quickly becoming the most important things in your life.

"But... shouldn't my relation be a priority?"

It should be an integral part of your daily life, but not the entirety. It is especially important at the beginning.

Both partners in a relationship should live fulfilling lives. If someone feels that their entire worth and happiness are dependent on their presence, it can cause them to feel overwhelmed and make them wonder why they don't have any other activities.

Allow your heart to breathe. Excessive closeness can lead to suffocation.

3: Acting like an angel in distress

I don't care about how advanced our society is, there are biological realities that men and women have to face when it comes heterosexual dating.

One is: Men love to pursue and women love to be pursued.

My 10+ years of experience in the dating business has taught me that even the most strong and progressive women want to be romanticized, pursued and made to feel feminine.

However, some women go too far. Some women go too far.

Men don't like to be forced to fight you for power. But they don't mind saving you. Men who are happy to share their lives with one another seek a partner they can grow and develop with.

Think about this: A man who thrives on power and authority will only want a woman he can control. A woman who doesn't share his opinions, worldviews or beliefs is not an emotionally healthy and well-adjusted woman.

Looking for a woman intellectually stimulating, emotionally intelligent and driven is the type of man want.

He'll eventually grow tired of you just agreeing with him all the time. This is not the kind of relationship he wants. A man who doesn't get bored is most likely in it to find an equal but a subordinate.

You won't have to compromise your opinion or self-worth in order for the right person to be with you. Instead, they will value and respect you thoughts and ideas. Accept nothing less.

4. You take away his independence.

It may not be intentional, but it is important to allow your partner room for growth.

It was nerve-wracking to think about a girl going out with her friends when I was young and insecure.

What happens if she marries someone else? What if she hears something negative about me? What if she never comes back?

Ah, the thoughts and feelings of insecurity or lack of experience.

This is part of the point. SECURE love is a source of freedom. SECURE partners are trustworthy. They don't try to contain or restrain each other.

Of course, I don't think you should go to insane raves every night without your partner.

Balance is crucial. Balance is important in every relationship, not just at the beginning.

You can share your hobbies and develop them together. Spend time with your friends, sometimes, but not your friends, other times.

Although your relationship may be called "we", it still has two "mes".

5: Playing hard for what you want.

Ah, the tale of the old sage. For the sake of grabbing someone's attention, pretending you aren't interested, being distant, or otherwise difficult to reach.

Here's the secret: don't have to be difficult to get .

It is hard to find high-value women because they are aware of their worth and won't compromise on it. They don't play any games. They are honest, open, and upfront about their desires and intentions.

He will not settle for someone who is too distant or uninterested if he knows his worth. He is looking for someone who will want him back. Someone who is passionate about their relationship and willing to put the same effort in getting to know them.

To a certain extent, men may enjoy following. Men might enjoy pursuing...to a certain extent. Chasing is not something they enjoy .

chasingsomething is fine if it's running from you. This can be frustrating and demoralizing.

The balance is unique, accessible, and possible.

6: Showing too much gratitude

"Geeze James...too many of that and not enough of this, which gives?"

A relationship can't thrive if it has neutral ground. In other words not complaining does not constitute positive reinforcement.

We need to show our partner gratitude, appreciation, affection, and LOVE regularly.

Sometimes, it can happen that someone is consistently very kind to you but doesn't feel appreciated and pull away from you.

This is the solution: Say Thank You.

To show your appreciation, do small acts of kindness in return for his gratitude.

Either make dinner for them or clean up after them. For date night, wear the shirt you like. To show your appreciation, do something different.

You can do a lot with a little bit.

7: Critiquing or invalidating their life choices.

You are two people who have different upbringings. It is natural that you won't agree on everything.

It's likely that you took different paths to reach the magical combination that brought you together. While it doesn't necessarily mean one path is better than the other, criticizing your partner for their choices can lead to them feeling unworthy or invalid.

It is a sign of insecurity to pick apart minor things that aren’t important in a relationship. This can increase insecurity and heighten someone’s defense mechanisms. You can find a partner who will be able to help you if you're too far apart in your life vision.

8: Not being your truest self.

This is something that we all struggle with, both men and women.

When we aren't completely secure with our identities and ourselves, we tend to mold ourselves to the needs of others.

Do a little more of the above, but a lot less of that.

acceptance is the goal, not internal fulfillment.

We attract someone who doesn't know who we are. They are falling for a set of manufactured traits designed to elicit these feelings.

However, over time, the real you will rise to the surface. They'll believe you've "changed," but in reality, you stopped pretending to be the person they want.

This was something I did a lot when I was younger, and I was unsure of myself. I tried to be the kind of man she wanted to date.

It was 100% unsuccessful.

The right person will want to get to know you , who you are and how you feel secure in your own self so that they can create a life with you.

Women are constantly told what they should look like by society. What they "should look like." What they "should wear..."

The Only Person You should be your most authentic, truest self.

This will attract all the men you know.

No.

Are you able to attract the right guy who is interested in you as you are?