The Pros and Cons of Marrying a Handyman

My husband is a problem solver! Before we married I had no idea just how passionate about cars he is. Combine that with a hyper observant personality and he never misses something in need of fixing. Throughout our marriage he has tried, with little success, to help me see for myself how fascinating car maintenance can be. It’s not that I hate cars – I admire the engineering, artistry, and safety features that go into their creation – I just have other subjects I am interested in and have no desire to take this one on. After observing him for over 5 years now I have discovered the following pros and cons of marrying a handyman/mechanic.

Pros:

• You will save lots of money

Due to his knowledge of cars and home repairs, his relationships with parts stores, and his collection of tools my husband has saved us thousands of dollars on parts, labour, and maintenance costs. Our cars have significantly fewer problems because he is always on top of oil changes, unusual noises, and other potential time bombs. This also leads to a sense of security since I know they will not break down and require a tow truck while I am driving on the highway.

• You will have someone knowledgeable to assist in case of emergency

Shortly after we married I hit a deer while driving home from work. I worked the night shift and the highway I travelled home was dark and deserted at that time of night. Having someone come by who could help me was unlikely. It was a great relief to call him and have him come get me while determining the level of damage done to the car.

• You will get to know your neighbours on different level

Not surprisingly our neighbours love my husband for his ability to diagnose their car troubles and do basic home repairs. This has created opportunities to develop friendships and has given us a support system to take care of our cats when we go out of town. One of our former neighbours also used own a body shop which has allowed my husband to make a friend with similar interests. He is an introvert who doesn’t make friends easily so it was good for him to have found someone who can share his passion and assist him when necessary.

• You will learn more than you want to know about the history of cars

On our honeymoon we went to a museum with a car collection. Due to his interest in cars we were able to get a private tour including going behind the ropes to get an up-close look at the cars. Even though I am not as interested in the subject as he is it was one of the neat experiences we had that made our honeymoon special.

• You will get to drive/ride in a warm car

Since he knows the importance of letting your engine warm up in the winter before driving he makes sure that the car is started and brushed off long before we have to leave. He will also do this on his days off to help me out as I get ready for work. His love language is doing service for others so this shows me how much he cares.

Cons

• You will collect a series of “projects”

I do not need to create a “Honey DO” list. Instead my husband routinely recognizes the things that need to be fixed or improved in our home and will develop a nervous twitch if he doesn’t get to them. The problem is that due to his full-time job, uncooperative weather, popularity with the neighbours (see above), and not having all the tools he needs to complete the jobs they sometimes tend to pile up. At the most extreme – we have had two project cars sitting in our driveway for over a year before he finally made progress.

• You will learn more than you want to know about the history of cars

You have to be very careful when talking to someone who is a passionate mechanic. Just saying something simple such as “I need new lights” could result in a lesson on how the lights on different makes of cars have changed over the last several decades. Depending on how passionate and focused they are on this lesson your silence and glazed over expression meaning that you couldn’t care less may go unobserved. Be careful how you respond though as they may become angry that you don’t find it as interesting as they do.

• Unless you have a garage or workshop your house will become a sea of tools, stains, and parts

Car maintenance and certain home repairs are messy and, unless you have a dedicated workspace, any part of your home that is not carpeted may become fair game. Many a time I have come home to find some car part soaking or thawing out in my sink, have had my veggie brush used to clean grease off his hands, or have had to give up counter space to tools or paint cans. Unfortunately, he also has difficulty locating his tools at times which frustrates him.

• You will become “involved” in helping them

I do know how to do basic car maintenance such as checking my fluids and tire pressure. Before I was married I also consistently took my car in for regular maintenance milestones. I do not need or want to know how to replace parts, help him bleed brakes, or stand in the sun for hours on end handing him tools. If we are going to spend time together let’s do something we both enjoy.

• On good weather days you will never see your partner

With the extended daylight of the summer months it is not uncommon for my husband to work on his projects until 9 or 10 pm – especially if he does not need to go to work the next day. I’m glad he is doing what he loves but sometimes he gets so focused on what he is doing that he forgets that I want to go to bed early since I have an hour commute in the morning. Additionally, he will often neglect his health by forgetting to eat or drink enough fluids and sports a perpetual sunburn all summer long since our driveway is on the west side of our house with no shade.

Conclusion

Although the undesirable things associated marrying a handyman occasionally get me down I am grateful for what I have. Being with a man who enjoys fixing things has created opportunities for me to learn and grow as a person. It also gives him a place to succeed when the pressures of work become unbearable. Every aspect of life has some things you don’t like but focusing on what you are grateful for will lead to happiness.