The Photograph

Billy: What are you thinking?

Christina: That I wish I was as good at love as I am at working. I wish I didn't leave people behind so often.

Do you believe in love at first sight?

If you would have asked me that same question last year, I would have said something along the lines of, “That is impossible. There’s no such thing as love at first sight. Whoever admits that must be creating a fantasy in their head to manifest that reality.”

Fast forward to present day, I do believe in love at first sight. If you’ve never experienced something, I don’t think you can give an accurate response. Hypothetical questions and scenarios kind of help your brain to work on their critical thinking skills but when you’re speaking from a place of love, your logic goes out the window.

Your heart may misguide you. It might take you down the worst path you may ever encounter. Dark alley ways, mirrored rooms closing in with tainted trauma, voices screeching that you are not good enough. It’s difficult to pull away from your mind. It tricks you into believing the worst is bound to happen because nothing in life is good, there’s always some sort of catch to it.

“I met someone.”

“Girl, it’s the honey moon phase, it’ll die down.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts.”

“That’s how it always starts.”

“You don’t know anything about him to be feeling this way.”

“He’ll do you the same way the others did.”

I keep my love life private. The phrases above are from people I thought would be genuinely happy for me but they’re so bitter with themselves and their circumstances, they pray for my downfall.

When someone tells you, they’ve met someone or you see them glowing – don’t rain on their parade with comments as such just because you and your significant other got comfortable and are now just roommates instead of lovers. At the end of the day, your partner is a representation of you. Be very careful who you choose to be a reflection of you in this world. Seek a soul that mirrors only what you stand for.

He fell for me first. He denies it but he did. He puts on this act that he didn’t but boy, Cupid got him good! So good that one late night on a call he accidentally said the 3 big words.

I wasn’t scared when I heard him say it. On the contrary, I felt a warm sensation flow through my body. And that’s when I knew too. I didn’t say it though because I was too busy picking at him for saying it first. But I knew he did the first time we met. He had this glow in his eyes whenever we made eye contact. There were times from my peripheral I’d see him stare in admiration; to be observed like an art display in a museum is a refreshing feeling. To be touched and feel protected… (read my prior work and you’ll comprehend why this is a big deal to me).

I cannot stress this enough! Find out your partner’s love language. We have learned so much about each other because we know how to properly communicate in a way we both will acknowledge. It’s more to it than just hearing, you have to actively listen to what your partner is saying for miscommunication to not be so common. Oh and don’t get me started on reassurance! I never knew how important it was until we talked about our insecurities, our doubts, our fears… Every chance we get, we use our love language (words of affirmation) for reassurance. I used to dream of matching energies with someone, I just never thought I’d experience it.

There’s so many things that are my favorite about him. He’s very attentive. Always wants to know what’s on my mind. Very kind but stern. Front row seats to his free concerts every night. His smile. Oh my goodness, his smile. That’s definitely top 2 and it ain’t 2. It’s his dimple when his smile forms that gets me every time. But most importantly, it’s his heart. I have never been properly loved so to have someone shower me with their love and presence is such an indescribable feeling.

One thing about love, it does test you. We match each other’s energy to the max and when we disagree it’s just as intense. But we never go to bed mad. This photograph has been my favorite to develop because every time he looks at it, he smiles and says "Look at our picture babe."

Love is a meeting of two souls, fully accepting the dark and the light within each other.

It’s the person you never saw coming that’ll change your life. One thing’s for sure though, love is not for kids. You definitely have to find that balance between “this person is out of their mind if they think they’re going to walk all over me” and “this person is my person and I’m fighting for this because this is who I want to make forever memories with.”