The Nice Guy Curse - Some Guys Just Can’t Get the Girl

We all know the “nice guy”.

The guy who seems to have mastered the art of being polite, respectful, and thoughtful but has yet to master the art of actually getting the girl.

Maybe you’re a nice guy yourself… and if you are, please keep reading.

There is a formula for being unattractive to females, and you’ve probably got that down pretty well. Read carefully, and you could become the kind of guy who not only gets the girl but keeps her coming back for more.

It’s time to unleash your inner “bad boy” (or at least your inner “not-so-nice guy”).

Now, before you start writing off this article as yet another “nice guy” rant, let me assure you that it’s not.

Ever wonder exactly why the nice guy always seems to finish last in the dating world?

Well, the answer is not as simple as you might think.

Really nice guys are usually that way for a reason.

Let’s just start with the basics.

For survival reasons, they had to be really nice in order to make life a little easier for them. Some people have looks or charisma or money. Some people indeed have it all. And some people are just nice.

See, that’s the thing. The reason women aren’t automatically attracted to the “nice” guy is that more than often, it’s the only thing they have going for them.

When you are beautiful or rich, or charismatic, you don’t need to be nice to get what you want. By having these qualities, you are already higher on the social status than anyone who’s just nice.

Also, nice guys have a long-standing reputation for giving their all to a woman that hasn’t done anything to earn it. That’s not attractive.

Being nice just isn’t enough.

It’s like showing up to a job interview with nothing but a winning smile and a firm handshake. Sure, it’s a good start, but if you really want to land that job, you need to have some actual skills and qualifications.

Similarly, being nice is just the baseline. It’s what’s expected of every decent human being.

It’s like showing up to a party wearing clothes. Congratulations, you met the bare minimum requirement for social interaction.

Nice guys have a certain reputation with the ladies from the onset.

They’re nice. They’re really, really nice.

They’ll usually do anything for a woman and be there for her whenever she needs them. They’re incredibly empathetic, accommodating, respectful, and treat her like a queen, even when she doesn’t deserve it.

But, despite all these efforts, they typically end up in the friend zone, and stay there forever, no matter how much effort they put into being nice. And this is a consistent pattern for the nice guy.

Sorry to break it to you, nice guys, but not everyone wants a partner who just bends over backward to please them.

Females are picky when it comes to selecting romantic partners, and for good reason.

Females hold all the power when it comes to selecting a romantic partner.

They are the ones who bear the most risk when it comes to the consequences of sex, so it’s natural that they would be picky.

Women need someone whom they can build a life with. They want a man who is gentle but strong, interesting, charismatic, skilled, articulate, protective, and also nice to them. Nice isn’t even at the top of the list, if there is one.

Human males don’t fight it out like the rest of the animal kingdom. Perhaps they used to. In its extreme, we see this in the animal kingdom as males will fight to the death to earn the right to mate with females. This is to make sure that only the strongest and most healthy offspring will be born into the family.

But humans seem to be the only species that have evolved to mate with sub-par partners. Hence, the recent decline of civilization.

Nice guys get rejected by females, and it’s not because they’re too nice.

Being the “nice guy” is like bringing a salad to a barbecue. Sure, it’s healthy and good for you, and you might even be proud of yourself for making such a responsible decision. But let’s face it, nobody really wants it.

You’ll have to bring something more enticing to the table if you want to make a better impression.

Your salad will be just as memorable either way, but it’s not what you do (or what you brought) that people remember, it’s how you made them feel. Bringing a simple sweet treat instead would have made most people smile and enjoy what you brought on a whole different level — the level you’re going for.

The downside of being a nice guy-

Nice guys may lack a few very important qualities that make them desirable. On top of that, they may come across as needy, desperate, or lacking in confidence, which can be very unattractive.

The friend zone phenomenon is all too real.

It’s hard to move beyond the friend zone when you’re so darn nice that you’re almost too comfortable to be around.

Your niceness can also make you seem suspicious and doubtful.

Women are reacting to the elements that do not align with how nice guys present themselves. A certain level of trust is given to someone who seems genuine.

The truth is, no one is nice all the time.

There’s a special kind of fear and anxiety, certainly some questioning thoughts that arise when we meet someone who is an outwardly very nice person.

Male or female, a super nice person also presents an element of suspicion, especially when it seems to be the top redeeming quality of that person.

It’s natural to question someone’s intentions when they seem to be investing in you — like what do they want from me?

What makes the nice guy so undesirable?

Better options, plain and simple.

Good-looking, successful, and/or charismatic men are attractive and can also choose to be nice, but the nice guy is just nice.

Now, it’s not all doom and gloom for nice guys. Women mature much slower, emotionally, and seem to realize what they don’t want in a man long before they understand what makes a good partner.

Many young women are attracted to the “bad boys”. But these young women are generally inexperienced or lack self-worth, and cannot distinguish the difference between a confident guy and a competent man.

So, Mr. Nice Guy, there is hope that a woman will appreciate your niceness and all you have to offer one day— especially if you keep working on yourself.

Nice guys may indeed finish last in the dating world, but it’s not the end of the world.

It’s not that being a nice guy is a bad thing. It’s just not enough to guarantee success in the dating world.

Instead of trying to be the nicest guy in town, focus on developing other qualities that will make you more attractive to potential partners, and even yourself. You probably have the nice thing down by now — it’s time to move on.

Build your confidence, hone your skills, and cultivate interests that make you unique and interesting. At the very least, try to find a way to set yourself apart from all the other “nice guys”.

And remember, while it may seem like the bad boys are always winning, there will come a day when they’re just not good enough anymore. The women who once fell for their charms will realize that they’re not the kind of men they want to build a life with.

So keep being nice, but also keep growing and evolving as a person.

We all have something valuable to offer, and with the right mindset and effort, even the nicest guys can find partners who appreciate their niceness. However, they could be waiting for a long time unless they step up their game.