The News. Story #2
4 Words that you never want to hear from the person your married to
It all started when I was spending a few days with my in laws and sister in laws family. It was a good week spending with them and getting out of all the congestion and craziness of being in the city. My husband at the time was out of town working and had been gone for a few weeks already, we had recently talked about trying to work on our marriage and I admitted to him that I know I had been putting all my focus and energy on to our baby.
Since we did not live near family I had to plan on getting a baby sitter so we could start dedicating a few hours a week to go on a date or do something with just him and I. Which was a HUGE deal for me because I did not trust my baby with anyone, I was the type of mom that spent every waking and sleeping moment with my baby so we were very attached to one another, but I knew I needed to give some attention to my marriage as well.
So at the end of my stay at the in laws he texted me something that just ripped my heart out of my chest he asked for a divorce. I wanted to just crumble and curl under a rock but I couldn't because I was with his family and there would be a lot of questions. He wouldn't even give me a legit reason when I asked him why, and I flat out asked him "did he meet someone else" and he was persistent on that he did not. So I decided instead of going home I went back to my parents house and when he finally made the time to come see his son he looked me in the eyes and swore he did not meet anyone and just said we had drifted apart. That man stood there while I was crying to the point where I could not catch my breath and while our baby was just in the other room. He barely even spent any time with our child which made it even worse.
My wonderful superpower of woman intuition knew there was someone else but I just couldn't prove it. Well then one night I got all my answers, I received a message from a girl I did not know and asking me if I was married to "his name", and I told her yes. Well from there she went on to telling me he had been dating one of her friends and that she kept catching him in some shady things and ended up catching my name. Everyone this woman is the greatest woman ever, she was a complete stranger and knew nothing about me but still knew that his dumbass was telling lies one night when they went out. He apparently was bashing and saying horrible things about me and that I was a horrible mother and just so many lies. When the truth was I had taken care of our kid since day one by myself and I knew/know I am an amazing mother. So when I confronted him he flat out denied it even after I sent him pictures of him and his side chicks texts. Then he finally owned up to it, and at that point in my life nothing made sense, how could someone that spent almost 8 years together do something so horrible. He was going out partying, telling this other girl he loved her while I was hundreds of miles away with our child. Luckily I had an amazing support system and a whole village helping with my child. Because if I wouldn't have had them I honestly do not know what I would have done. I was in such a dark place and I honestly still am, I never got any closure on to why and how he could do such a horrible thing.
To be honest if it would have just been a one night thing and he just cheated with some random girl, I could honestly have looked past it. I know we all make mistakes and I know that we weren't very happy in that point in time. But he went out telling people I was a bad mother, I had a drug problem, and my baby had to be taken away from me. I just do not know how someone could do that to the mother of their child, when none of it was the truth not even close.
How do you get past such a betrayal? I still have yet to find that the answer to that question. I have always had a problem with people leaving me and not sticking around so I just keep thinking I am the problem. The only good thing that came out of all of this was a beautiful child who is my complete world, and when he goes with his dad a part of me is missing. The other thing that completely sucks is I will always have to see that man so how will I ever get to move on, because I have tried so many things and nothing has worked.
This is one of the lowest points in my life but it also pushed me to be a stronger woman, yes I have come along way and yes I have built a new life for myself and kid. But that dark weighted pain is still there and will probably always be and that is something I will have to live with for a long time to come maybe even forever. I just hope there is a time where it will get easier.
I have so much more to share so if this story spoke to you or if you might relate to any of this any type of tip would be greatly appreciated.