The Lost Art of Mentorship

I once heard my generation be called the Lost Boys Generation. Men struggling to find a proper mentor or guide to help point them in the right direction of where they should go in life. I was in the same boat. I had an idea of the kind of man that I wanted to become I just didn't know how to get there. Looking around the men in my world that were in the position to mentor me and put me on the right path I realized that they didn't not have the skill set or the desire to be an effective leader and mentor. So I needed to search. I needed to search the media, film, and hollywood for someone that really represented the man that wanted to grow into. I was 16 years old and I dreaded that time of day when I would hear the keys jingle in the key hole and the door would open and their he would be staring a whole right through me. He would say the same thing everyday. "Did you walk the dogs and do your homework?" In the most unwelcoming cold voice that he can muster. That would be the extent of what he would say to me everyday. He would remain silent and not speak to me or my mother at dinner. Even when the dogs snuggled up to him looking for affection he would get frustrated and tell them "Screw off!" When dinner was over he would remain silent and then isolate himself in his bedroom the rest of the night. That was basically the relationship dynamic that I had with my step father. I wish we had a better bond. However another part of me did not want that because I knew he was not a man that I can admire, look up to, or be mentored by. He was just not built to be a mentor. His children from his previous marriage said the same thing about him, he was not the father they needed him to be. As I looked around in other parts of my life there were not a lot of men that had mentor qualities. However during that period of my life it did not seem like a huge issue, it just seemed normal to me not having fatherly guidance. When I was young I was an extremely impressionable child. I knew what I looked up to in men and what I imagined myself to be and I was consciously and subconsciously emulating their behavior and vibe. As I have aged into my 30's I have come to gain a different perspective on mentorship. I always used to think that mentorship dynamic was natural human dynamic but I have come to realize that some people are not born to be mentors or mentored. In our hunter gather past it was the standard dynamic between parents and their children, especially fathers and son. When the young boy finally reach an age where the father felt that he had what it took to be taken on hunt with the other men, the father would mentor the young in hunting strategy and tactics. Nowadays men are too busy playing videogames or glued to their phone to either bother teaching their children anything. From the dynamic that I had with my step father I knew that he was not the man to guide me through life's challenges. In 2005 our relationship fell apart and he left the home. I struggling for a few years to find meaning and purpose for myself. In 2008 I joined the Army hoping to find some sense of purpose and guidance that I needed. For a while in the Army and did find it and the army was a great experience but the fire for it slowly burnt out. It was not quite what I was searching for. A couple years later at a pro wrestling event in 2012 which I was wrestling in. I was the first match on the show. I finished my very short five minute match. After the show wrestlers gave the kids a chance to meet them and photos taken with their favorite wrestlers. I kept my distance with this because I did not think anyone would be interested in my performance on the show. I was a newbie still learning the ropes of pro wrestling. I was at the coffee bar buying a coffee. While I was paying the cashier and felt a tug on pants from behind me. I turned around looked down and saw a small boy no older then 5 looking up at me. His eyes were wide and he had a huge smile on his face. I looked up and saw his father. His father looked at me and said. "My son loved you tonight you were his favorite wrestler". I was stunned and could not really believe what I was hearing. Me? I thought. "But I was terrible?" I said to the father laughing while I said it. The father laughed to "Yes, you were terrible but something you did made a connection with my son." The young boy asked if he can have my autograph. I did not think I was worthy enough to be giving children autographs at a wrestling show but I did it anyway because I saw the happiness that it brought this boy. Before he left the young boy gave me a hug and said "Thank you, you were my favorite wrestler tonight". The boy left with his father. I was emotionally hung up on that moment for about a week. It amazed me how you can have an impact on someone life and not even realize your doing it. Even if it was a very brief moment that interaction meant the world to me. It made me realize that being a positive role model and or being viewed as a male mentor is really important to me and from that moment on I new this was something I need to build upon prioritize and make my life's works as being a role model/mentor. People in the world that value money the most are the ones that have grown up in poverty because they never had money and they know its worth. I know the value and the importance of being a male role model and mentor because I never had it. From what I have seen and experienced it has become a lost art form. Most people these days are all consumed with themselves and focused and what they are generating or not generating into their own lives. True mentorship comes from a genuine desire to improve the lives of a younger generation. Not for ego or acknowledgement but from contributing to make the world a better place then they found it.