The Layers of Love We Don't Talk About

During the pandemic, I spent many nights on my balcony. I remember nights when there wouldn’t be a single star or cloud in the sky, and all was quiet in the world.

I didn’t question it.

I just let it be as is.

Spending so much time alone, I began to explore the concept of love and continued to do so long after the pandemic.

It’s naive to say that I’ve never been in love before. I have, in the several moments I’ve been able to put my finger on. But there are the layers that come from this single, loosely intertwined string between the heart and mind comprised of unfinished endings and open-ended questions.

We've all experienced this nuance type of love. The subtleness that hide behind your first love, familial love, friendship love, and the love that drives your work. They are the in-between layers of love that we often don’t talk about.

The Almost Kind of Love

We’ve all experienced the almost kind of love. The almost relationship, almost marriage, and the almost type of readiness — that kind of almost. It’s the almost that balances at the tip of your tongue, waiting for that rush to come in. It’s close enough that you can picture it, taste it, and if you dared, plan a couple of steps ahead.

But with this type of love, we never get there. Because that’s the thing about the "almost" kind of loves, something always gets in the way. Whether that be fear or the universe working behind the scenes, some people are only meant to play just a scene in your story and not the entire chapter.

The “What If” Love

The “what if” love is usually the one who got away or the missed connection. As curious humans, we want to know all the different possibilities just to know if we chose the right path. We may have even spent lazy afternoons and sleepless nights coming up with different scenarios in our minds to know if we chose the right one.

This teaches us two things – that in our search for love (or life answers), we sometimes can become perfectionists, fixating on the result rather than the journey. Secondly, it teaches us the capacity of how deeply we can love, if we only allow ourselves to.

The “what if” love is also beautiful in its own way. It reminds you that the most important place to be is here, where you are right now.

The Universal Love

Love in its entirety is universal, and it’s because we’re all beautifully connected and accountable for one another. Similar to the concept of collective energy.

We live in this balance, and the pandemic is proof of what happens when the entire world is off balance. It ripples into our inner and outer circles, disrupting the world's equilibrium that we have become accustomed to.

So being conscience that universal love transcends cultures, barriers and differences, we feel differently and can live differently, knowing we're never really alone and that there is someone out there sending you that type of love.

The Home Love

There’s a special kind of love that feels like home. The scent of mom’s cooking or the sound of your nieces and nephews playing outside in complete bliss. It’s the taste of diner coffee or hearing a song that you and your best friend used to listen to as kids.

Home love is comfort. Home is where you can always return to, even if that home is a new place you've built with your chosen family as an adult.

The Unconditional Love

There’s a type of love that just exists. It’s not romantic, it’s not familiar. It just is. This is the type of love we all have felt in our lives but don’t quite have the words to explain it. Just like the stars in the sky and on cloudless nights, you never question it.

So what do all of these layers of love have in common? We put a part of ourselves in every one of them and they all exist beautifully.

As is.