The Jealousy Between Boys, When This Feeling Sets in Among Their Best Friends

About jealousy between boys - are men jealous of each other? At first glance, it looks like no! Fierce competition, rivalry, jealousy, and envy seem to be more typically feminine… Men put less emphasis on what others have and compare themselves less often with other men… In addition, they support each other - the famous saying "bros before hoes" ( so friends before girls)…

The explanation why it seems that jealousy between boys is much rarer is quite simple: they are not exposed and influenced as much by external standards: while a girl grows aware that she must be the cutest, the smartest, and so on To succeed in life, a boy grows up with the idea that what he succeeds in life depends on himself and not on others! In addition, women are less emotional than men, and their emotions are less complex.

More importantly, a woman develops mainly her social side - communication and a social being can not avoid the constant comparison with others; men, on the other hand, are somewhat more individualistic. This is why a woman will create her self-image often from the outside (as seen by others), while a man will create his self-image more often from the inside (as he perceives himself)…

Does this mean that there is no jealousy between boys? Not nearly!

Jealousy can occur in the family, among male members:

In family. The jealousy between boys is extremely common when we talk about siblings: from the beginning, the fear that the other sibling will get the attention and affection of the parents gives birth to jealousy; and as the brothers grow, the one who gets more success and appreciation will give birth to jealousy of the other.

But jealousy can manifest itself in the family - although repressed - even between father and son: the son is jealous (unconscious) for the fact that his mother belongs to another man, but also the father is jealous that his life partner gives all his affection to his son…

Career. Studies show that in the professional environment, jealousy is more visible among women - which is compared in terms of physical attractiveness, employment, income. Jealousy among men is not as common - and when it occurs, it is more about the social attractiveness of one - the one who is more pleasant and appreciated in the workgroup.

But men are less likely to perceive another successful man as a threat - because just because someone else is successful doesn't mean he won't (while women have the instinct to compete as if only one could be winners)

Success in women and relationships. The jealousy between boys can occur when we talk about success in women - but not in any situation! For example, if one friend is successful with women, the other is not, he will not necessarily be jealous - he will rather say "well done" (if it's true friends)!

But when the same friend has a girlfriend who likes the other, jealousy and envy can occur (competition for the same girl)… Jealousy also occurs when one of the men starts a relationship with a girl and sees his friends much less often, moving away from them - they can be jealous of both the woman who "stole" their friend and him, who has something they don't have…

And of course, the classic jealousy in the relationship: the man jealous of another man with whom girlfriend to spend time or that she appreciates…

In group. The jealousy between boys can occur in groups of close friends. When the group consists of, say, three boys, but two of them are closer to each other and meet without the third, he can be jealous, feeling left out!

Between strangers. But is there jealousy in boys among strangers, as it appears in women, who analyze each other for a long time without even knowing each other? Does a man feel the need to compare himself to a stranger to see which "is better"?

Not so often! Men are less likely to self-evaluate in terms of outward comparisons with others, so jealousy doesn't exist in such situations. Jealousy of a stranger who looks good, has money, is successful, or has a sexy girlfriend has little to look for - the man thinks rather "his bravo", "each with his own"; and if she feels a sting of envy, she prefers to hide it. another man, because it becomes obvious that he can lose something in favor of another. Otherwise, men rarely think in terms of "if he has X, then I won't have X" - rather I think "there is X for everyone, I don't have to compete with another"…

Jealousy in boys is rarer because many of them do not tend to constantly compare themselves with others, nor the mentality that when one has something, the other does not; or that the happiness and success of one would exclude or diminish the happiness and success of the other; or to want what someone else has in terms of fighting - "either you have or I have". Of course, it all depends on the person: to say that boys are not jealous of each other is a mistake: there are also jealous boys/men!

The jealousy between boys remains much less visible - the man often prefers not to express his emotions; he does not act and does not show his jealousy through mischievous looks, gossip, licentious gestures.

And if he is jealous of another, he simply prefers not to have much to do with that person - avoiding him, instead of displaying false kind behaviors or starting a "war". How many men have you seen gossiping or stinging each other? without tricks or subtleties…