The Drain of Exhaustion

What Happens When Exhaustion Kicks In?

Right now I am knackered to the point where I could happily snuggle up to any stranger on this train, curl up and go to sleep.

Part of it is due to the consideration that I was out drinking last night but beyond that I am tired. Exhausted to the point where having a couple of days off was perfect but was it enough?

Coming back to an irritating week of meetings that really could have been completed at any other time, with many being more draining than Boris Johnson's version of the truth.

It was difficult and I wish I had taken the whole week off. To focus on the future and laying the foundations for a successful tomorrow.

Instead of that feeling of riding high, I feel exhausted to the point where today, a day that should have been easy, was spent attempting to stay awake within what felt like endless meetings.

I am wiped after this week and I truly wish that I just powered through with a complete week of work as I am getting older, which means that I have a much lower threshold for staying awake.

Coming past the tube station earlier there were many football fans and all I could think about was my god, they are loud. All I wanted to do was to get home and get warm, chilling out with the television and my wife rather than looking to head out for the evening as we used to.

My wife and I used to stay out until 2am and now that is saved for Christmas and Summer parties. We still go out for drinks but we don't do anything near what we used to do.

Fighting tiredness like the plague at every turn to the point where I fell asleep on the train home. Maybe I even snored?

What is important is that I feel exhausted and should take time for myself by taking a sick day, yet I can't bring myself to do this as I have only had one day off sick in about a decade and I don't want to start again now.

It is rather irritating to say the least to come back from two incredibly busy shows to then be thrust in the corner and be told that we need all these things and in all honesty it has added to the feeling of being drained.

Drained of enthusiasm or excitement when before the event and during the event I was racing through everything in order to tick off as much as possible. I was thanked and now all I feel is that gratitude has been thrown out the window and half of me is wondering why.

Why did I bother to go above and beyond when no one really has cared or come back to me and appreciated the steps that I have taken on this front?

This is a feeling that if not checked can lead you down the road of frustration and up the drive of leaving. The job market is not great but then again, as a friend once said to me, the cream will always land on top.

I believe in myself in a way that I never thought possible. I know what makes me happy and what keeps me challenged and right now that train is threatening to derail...

At this point I am making the most of every day, taking every step as it arrives, as you never know what tomorrow will bring, yet I have one eye firmly fixed on work and seeing where those changes will lie.