The College Love Illusion
Why Do They Love Their Female Colleagues?
Life imposes on us, with astonishing equal extent, a definite set of feelings according to some specific places too! For example, the prevailing feeling accompanying entering any official department in the state is often disgust!
The feeling that accompanies entering a restaurant and the desire to swallow everything in it, is the feeling of happiness with another feeling that always accompanies it, which is the pain in the pocket and the wallet.
The feeling that accompanies being with your corrupt friends is often recklessness and the desire to break into life, in addition to wishing to get rid of them and stay away from them, but it is like the devil’s wish in heaven, as it is said!
So the relationship between feeling and place is a close one, as you know.
As for what we will talk about in this article, it is a feeling of another kind, which is largely prevalent in the university community. Which may reach 90%, no one has not tried it! This feeling is called love. Or, in other words, the illusion of love!
When they draw pictures in their imagination
You will likely realise that love is an illusion only at this point. Because it is the most prominent reason and has the greatest impact on what happens!
What happens when a young man finds a girl, or vice versa, is that they do not love the true personality of their owners as much as they love the images they have drawn in their imagination! And what characteristics they have instilled in their minds!
Just talk, then a simple talk, then a smile, maybe everything ends in reality. But then it all begins in the imagination and completes what the reality started on his behalf! Especially when that young man draws a picture in his imagination and relaxes with it and wanders and wanders, to form a semi-complete picture of a girl, perhaps 20% of whom does not exist in reality!
Many shocks occur at this point and because of this point, when one of the parties tries to get close to reality after drawing an almost complete imaginary picture in his mind, to collide with the other side with a character completely different from what was envisaged!
Believe me, love is built on realistic foundations between the two parties, these foundations are made to deal daily and discover the other in all its states of joy and sadness, pain and crying, and even stupidity and insignificance perhaps. But there is no place for fantasy or speculation in such matters!
If it was possible for a person to marry his thoughts, he would marry that painted picture, perhaps, but this is not possible at all!
So my friend, you didn't love her as much as you loved the picture you drew in your mind about her, the shock will be at the first real meeting!
I was lonely and that's why I chose you
Take any person who put him in the desert for a week without food and drink, then go to him and bring him a loaf of bread. What do you expect him to do with it?!
He will definitely attack the loaf with saliva flying from his mouth, and start eating it as if it was the best thing he had ever seen in his life, even though it was just an ordinary loaf of bread that he might not have liked in normal days! But now it is different, especially with an important factor called deprivation!
There is a proverb that says (Nothing fell into a basket of figs) as a metaphor for a person who overreacts after a long period of deprivation. Like depriving this person of food for a week in the desert, and depriving this young man of any mixing with the opposite sex before the university period!
School education systems in some countries follow the gender segregation system during the school education stage, and thus the student lives in a state of shortage and deprivation from a partner attached to him from the opposite party, not a lover of course, we are talking about schools, but only a friend!
But this is unacceptable. Therefore, with the first process of opening up to the other camp, which is often in the university community, that simple male falls into the fig basket and shows an excessive reaction, which is represented in the title of the article that we called the illusion of university love.
That young man turns into a model of that desert human being who was denied food for a while, then met the first loaf of bread and loved it!
I know that the analogy is very short and does not express the topic, but it is important to clarify and communicate the idea. The issue for young people here is not a choice at all, but rather the only and first opportunity that appeared before them after a long break.
Can this be called love?! Love is based on choice, not indirect compulsion! The forced choice is not the result of long deprivation and as a result of a basket of figs that you suddenly fell into without knowing!
Raising without such a thing called friendship
In the life of any young guy there are only three women: the mother, the sister and the wife. Otherwise you are not allowed at all. But let us think a little. If it is true that another woman should be added to this list, who would she be?!
Maybe he chooses to have a girlfriend, and to have a boyfriend. Certainly not, as some people imagine, from the type of friendship that invites him and invites her to his house every night. Youth do not have the price of transportation until they open a house of their own! Rather, it is a pattern to be a friend from the other party, nothing more.
Some respond to this claim by saying that friendship between a male and a female is not possible at all, and if it occurs, it is very fragile and similar to the friendship between a lion and a gazelle, it quickly collapses!
Perhaps some of the words are true, but the biggest is wrong, especially since everything is implanted in man from childhood, this period of cement scratches, in which you draw what you want to dry and become an essential characteristic of the child when he grows up.
When generations have been brought up with the idea that meeting another girl is not right and is only suitable for sex - pardon me if this word shakes you a little, even though it is nothing wrong with it! - You will definitely find that there are entire generations suffering from psychological and behavioural distortions, which often do not pay attention to them because you live in a medium that does not believe in the existence of psychological diseases!
To be sure, go to an elementary school and see how the teacher treats his students, compare it to the way a farmer treats his cows, and find out what I'm talking about here!
Here, separation and distortion occur, and perhaps the most prominent living example from our days is the state of reaching the European continent when you see that people there live in another style and everything is fine and nothing of what was drawn in your mind happens at all! Then don't be surprised when a person grabs a truck to trample people in. Or a pistol to shoot people's heads!
This is the distortion, my friend, this is the separatist trauma we are talking about.
They may be upset by the wrong education and anyone who criticises it, but they are not disturbed by the result that appears at the first case of leaving society and trying to integrate into a new environment that no one is accustomed to! Then you and I will see the error that starts from the moment of childhood.
The moment the cement stage you paint as you want, he goes to run over people outside because his cement is impossible to change!
Education based on not accepting any attempt to get close to the female, is associated with several negative effects on both sexes.
On the one hand, the female believes that she is highly desirable, and everyone enters into a struggle for her, so she gets the fever of vanity and arrogance, and you all know this visual, audible and (written) fever almost daily.
As for the male, his role is to become fragile in this respect, and to turn, as we said in the second step, into a mere useless, waiting for a fig basket to fall into it, naively thinking that it is love without knowing that the whole issue is nothing more than ruining his system of dealing with people.
The mere damage to this point led its owner to a psychological fragility that made him feel that any simple word towards him is an attempt to love because of the famine of tenderness that everyone experiences!
It was not love, my friend, the whole thing is just a psychological fragility that you suffer from that made the simplest word take a thousand interpretations and interpretations!
The trap of habituation
Ask any mother in the world who is the most beautiful child in your opinion? She will tell you immediately and without hesitation, my child is the most beautiful! The mother is honest in this matter and it is far from lying about it, as even a monkey is said to have a deer in the eyes of its mother! It's almost taken for granted, but why is this happening?!
It's mainly about getting used to! Any person you get used to for a certain period because of the length and many times you see him becomes familiar and then beautiful and then you fall in love with him even if the reality is the opposite!
The same applies to the university level as well, and all other stages. But as long as we talk about the university, let us talk about it here.
Why is the young man attached to a girl from the same university?! Why does a young man get attached to a girl from the same branch?! Why is the young man attached to a girl of the same category and popularity?! Why does he relate to the one who might be sitting next to him on the bench, why?!
Because the whole thing is not love, but just getting used to a person who has become a daily routine of seeing him, because you did not love him as much as you used to see him only!
Some may say what is wrong with getting used to! Here lies the danger, if there is a danger, of course. Habituation makes it difficult for a person to see the faults and faults of the other party. Most of the world's problems result from this point. People have become accustomed to wars throughout history, making them think that truth and the establishment of justice can only happen through killing and blood!
But the matter is wrong, as people get used to war does not mean that it is the right way! A girl getting used to a young man does not mean that he is required!
This point can be broken and bypassed if one of the parties can get used to the other and at the same time take steps back to see the bigger picture of it. This, as I said at the beginning, is like a mother telling you that her son is not the most beautiful child, but that her son in her eyes is a monkey! Not a gazelle!
Sensitive age period
It is well known that the age range of 18-24 years is a very sensitive period in a person's life, especially his emotional life. It is the hormonal period that controls most of the individual's feelings, decisions, and then his movements on the ground.
Therefore, it is said that the love of the 18/19, which is the age associated with entering the university, is a love based on a hormonal “flux” in the body, which will inevitably end upon stability and when everything returns to its normal state.
As for the other love, which is the love of 24 years, it is often real and materialistic in nature at the same time. Which carries within it the responsibility and rationality in making decisions towards the other, not only love, tenderness, kindness, containment and other terms uttered by the owners of the love of the 19! Those who suffer and yearn and do not know what they are doing!
We will often find that the hormonally driven lover is a simple student at the beginning of his career, does not know how to express what is inside him, confused, shy, broke with nothing to give to his other half who believes in it except his heart that is still young, and which will certainly not be satisfied with the father of the bride, or his uncle As it is said, that man who has a lot of moustaches in which he will express his indignation and dissatisfaction!
But after many years, this talk will turn into a more rational and responsible trend, and the field will be wider and the conditions are better. Inevitably, the girl's father will be more satisfied with you, or perhaps he will die, and an obstacle will be removed from your path. who knows!
You didn't love her, you loved her profile
The last step or sign of the delusion in which most university students live, which if you pass it with the six before it successfully, what you are experiencing is not an illusion, but I think that everything will end at this step if it has not ended in the previous one.
Facebook came to our world and changed everything about everything! A true friend has become the one who constantly guides you with his comments and does not skimp on you with them! A loyal friend is the one who immediately shares every word you write on her account! And fake love is that girl you watch silently and who didn't love her as a character as much as I loved her as a profile!
Some say that Facebook's personality is not the personality of reality, and the words may be somewhat true, but it is more correct to say that Facebook's personality is a distorted reflection in part of the true personality of reality!
You probably know it when you realise how many valid impressions we can get from Facebook personalities. A girl who puts a picture of a little boy is often innocent! And the young man who puts on the picture of a wrestler or boxer is often a stray and lost boy! And the man who puts his personal picture in a neglected case that is not suitable for being a personal picture is often a self-confident person! Or a drug dealer who doesn't have time to do his hair! And so on.
The personality of Facebook is a reflection of the personality of reality. During the transformation, some distortion may occur in some characteristics and features, but the main feature remains clear.
This sign - the love of the Facebook personality - is as close as possible to the first reason for the illusion that we talked about at the beginning of the article, but its importance required that it be in an entire paragraph alone, as the topic is large and broad. Especially since love via Facebook has become an absolutely indisputable reality!
I will not say as the old men say, the owners of the old generation, who do not stop scolding the younger generation. What started on the net will end on the net! Rather, I will say that love for Facebook and others is possible, and that the character may be a close reflection of the reality of its owner, but tell me why did you prefer what is electronic over what is real and realistic?!
Now, if you can pass smoothly over all these causes and signs of illusion, without catching any of them. Blessed be you for entering to the other side, and blessed be true love.
Perhaps this is the first article that deals with a sentimental topic in such detail, and it may be the last because I was expelled from this beautiful site that is often far from such matters.
However, the paramount importance of it, and the direct impact it may have with an entire generation of young people, is the motivation for writing it. I hope that the idea has arrived, and that it is easy and ordinary to assimilate.
Until then, and to an upcoming article if i remain a creator on this amazing website (Vocal.media), you all have a happy university life, and with real love!