The Art of Saying 'Hello' and 'Goodbye'

Just in case you are wondering what this article is all about, it is written to address the awkward business of walking away from a person,people or situation you thought had a future or some hope of becoming more especially, after expressing genuine interest from the onset.

Sometimes we meet people who excite our interests and we feel like we immediately 'click' or belong in the same tribe;

This is followed by a lot of 'hanging out' or spending time together until you realise that maybe you didn't have that much in common to begin with.

This is where the problem arises- you have now come to see that this person, people or situation may not be your cup of tea but are now faced with the dilemma of how to withdraw without seeming rude, ungrateful, tacky or whatever they decide to label you with for the decision you are about to make.

So, in a nutshell, how does one step back tactfully from a relationship or interaction they have come to realise might be a mistake as a result of poor judgement and immature haste?

Experts say that when we meet people for the first time we should make every effort to maintain eye contact, offer strong and confident handshakes, as well as treat our phones like 'the other woman'. However, is this the reason that we, after having made so much of an effort into making the best first impression, eventually start to grow weary when we come to realise that maybe that effort should have been made for us instead?

After pondering on this mental dilemma for a while I have no choice but to conclude that this confusion would likely not arise in the first place if we love and appreciate ourselves as much as we do the need to be loved and accepted by another. The results would include not only having our personal standards stand guard during our first encounters with strangers but, also enable us gauge whether or not to walk away before getting too involved with others to save any future embarrassment and instance where we end up hurting other people.

So, I came up with a few rules of my own on the best way to say 'hello'to a new person ;

1. Maintain eye contact:

If you have nothing to hide you will enjoy making eye contact with whoever you are interacting with. If you are shy this may be a difficult point to prove but after subsequent meetings (should you make it past the first stage) with who you are saying hello to, they may understand how you are wired and you may start to grow confident enough to look them in the eye when you talk with them. So, don't automatically rule a person out as being shifty, if they do not make eye contact with you. Maybe they are just shy. Which leads me to the next point;

2. Listen more than you Speak.

This is one rule I should learn to apply more myself. It is true that we hear more and observe twice as much when we listen to others, especially those things they do not say.

An experimental test of what brief moments of silence in the company of someone you are meeting for the first time could mean to you both, or how these moments are handled could be one litmus test as to the quality of your future interactions.

3. No Expectations.

When we make friends we have to try to personally decide that we are doing so without an agenda.

If you offer to help someone you just met, do so without expecting that this gesture will buy their loyalty to you and if on the other hand, you are offered favors by someone you just met be careful about receiving and work hard to give back what you can without being pressured into maintaining an equal status quo.

This is easily balanced if you apply rule number 1 and 2 effectively.

What more is left to say? If you succeed in saying 'hello'the right way there may eventually no need to say 'goodbye' at all in the first place.