The Admirable Mathias Cox

Mathias was thinking about Kathy again. Kathy Smart was a cowardly friend with brunette eyelashes and beautiful fingers.

Mathias walked over to the window and reflected on his cosy surroundings. He had always loved chilly Dallas with its tired, testy trees. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel lonely.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the cowardly figure of Kathy.

Mathias gulped. He glance at his own reflection. Mathias Cox was an admirable, ruthless, beer drinker with handsome eyelashes and robust manly fingers. His friends saw him as a brawny, bewildered bear. Once, he had even saved a lazy chicken that was stuck in a drain.

But not even an admirable person who had once saved a lazy chicken that was stuck in a drain was prepared for what Kathy had in store that day.

The sleet rained like jumping snakes, making him confident. He grabbed a solid sandwich that had been strewn nearby; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Mathias stepped outside and Kathy came closer, he could see the blue light glint in her eye.

She gazed with the affection of 4579 articulate obnoxious ostriches. She said in polyphonic overtones, "I love you and I want peace." Her eyes became teary, and she began sobbing.

Mathias looked back, even more confident, and still massaging the solid sandwich. "Kathy, I just don't need you in my life anymore," he replied. "I've elevated in life my girl. I'm no longer the thug you once knew and loved."

"What do you mean?" she said in desperation. "Why are you doing this? Is it something I did? Was it something I said that upset you? Please tell me. You're my honey roast turkey and I love you."

"Kathy," he said, "Kat. Kay. Kay Kay." Mathias' eyes welled with tears now. "I don't know what else to say. I don't expect you to understand but I'm no longer your poultry."

"But babe," she was crying like a big baby.

Mathias paced back and forth stroking the sandwich looking like a caricature of a fictional villain stroking their cat. A ridiculously oversized armchair materialised in front of him and he sat crossed legged on it while locking eyes with Kathy as she stood in disbelief at what just happened.

They looked at each other with calm feelings, like two faint, fragile, flamingos partying at a very intelligent engagement party, which had rave music playing in the background and two optimistic uncles boating to the beat.

A slight draft lifted Mathias' origami toupee from his head which revealed a glowing orb in place of his head.

Mathias studied Kathy's lash follicles and delicate phalanges. He always admired her fingers. They were gorgeous and at that moment he remembered a time when she would poke his knees with her fingers and it always brought him delight. He missed her dearly.

How time apart had done so much in the way of allowing him to grow as a human being yet in doing so had caused him to become distant toward her as she preferred the old Mathias: the frail and feeble Mathias that she had fell in love with all those hours ago. But I'm different now, he thought. If she cannot accept who I am and who I am destined to be, then I must let her go. She is the weakest link.

Eventually, he took a deep breath and said in apologetic tones, "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way and I never will. I just don't love you Kathy."

Kathy looked surprised. Her emotions were raw like a hard, felt hat.

Mathias could actually hear Kathy's emotions shatter into 3546 pieces. Then the cowardly Kathy hurried away and dived into a muddy puddle just like she had seen on the popular children's show, Peppa Pig .

Mathias let out a sigh of relief. He teleported into the kitchen where he pulled out a barrel of port from his shirt pocket and poured himself a chalice. He needed something strong to get him over what had just happened. Not even a drink of his favourite beer could calm his nerves.