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The 6 Phases of a Long-Term Relationship

by Bryan Stormyweather 11 days ago in advice

Are you capable of having a long-term relationship?

The 6 Phases of a Long-Term Relationship
Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash

Do you remember the times when you met your partner, when you were in love and when you barely discovered each other? Do you remember when you had no patience and trembled with emotion to meet so that you could tell each other on the moon and in the stars?

How long has it been since then? Have you managed to keep at least a trace of those feelings over the years? If at least from time to time you still feel the warmth in your heart remembering those times, it is wonderful. If not, you could recover at least some of them.

In the case of many couples, over time, partners become bored and ceiling, quarrel, or suffer in silence. Going through such phases from time to time is not so dangerous for the relationship. But in the long run, these unpleasant situations have negative effects on the body and soul. Of course, you have to forget the fairytale image of the prince who takes you on his white horse to paradise and lives happily ever after. You probably came to this truth after several years of marriage. Relationships take place in different phases.

6 phases can be distinguished quite clearly during a relationship. Each couple needs variable periods to reach the 6th phase. Some couples regress in the meantime or persist in one phase, so they never reach the 6th phase.

Enthusiasm phase

In the beginning, both partners consider themselves ideal partners, they discover similarities, they are ready to conform to the needs and desires of the other. At the top rank are now the feelings of passionate love and desire for closeness. "It's important to be with you" is the motto of the leader.


In this phase, differences and weaknesses begin to emerge. The partners are starting to worry about their interests again. Everyday responsibilities begin to rise on the list of priorities. The first feelings of disappointment and disillusionment appear.

The struggle for power and control

There is no equality in a relationship. One of the partners is always stronger or "wears pants". In this phase, each tries to change the other, to form him according to his expectations. Now mistrust, discontent, and reproach appear.

The curse of the 7th year (it doesn't have to be the same as the 7th year of marriage)

It is considered that in a relationship the third and seventh years are the most dangerous because then most relationships fall apart. If you have reached the seventh year, the year with bad luck, either you or your partner can feel the need and the impulse to end the relationship. One of the partners now feels that he is stifled, constrained, and can no longer evolve.


If they go through the seventh year together, the partners begin to find their way to each other again. Now he realizes that the partner until then does not necessarily have to correspond 100% to his expectations. It is the phase when the cards are put on the table face up and compromises are discussed. The relationship is now seen as a fair exchange between partners.


In this phase, after a more difficult road in some places, both partners reach a balance between closeness and independence. They rejoice when they are together and accept the other with good and bad.

This model shows that situations of crisis and unhappiness are normal phases in a relationship. Each of the partners must evolve. Sometimes, unexpected situational circumstances can cause such periods, such as the retirement or departure of children from the family, because they require an additional adaptation to the new lifestyle.


Bryan Stormyweather

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Bryan Stormyweather
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