Family unites us; but it's also a challenge. All about fighting to stay together, and loving every moment of it.
I once read: “Tip of the day: When you look back in 2018, don’t think of it as a year of pain but a year of growth. You made it through each day. You should be proud of yourself. You are a better you, despite all the hardships. Take a deep breath and enter 2019 with hope and confidence."
Rules to Dating My Son/Daughter
We have all seen it floating around social media, the “rules to dating my son/daughter.” We have either loved, liked, hated, had a laugh at it, or we were shocked about it. I saw this post a while back. I was on the receiving end of that rule list posted about me. My blood boiled, the anger living inside me woke up. I was beyond hurt and upset about it. I had been married for two and a half years at this point. I just didn’t understand why anyone in the world would post such an awful thing. “This goes for being married too" was the quote above it. The immediate reaction was to call the person in question. Then something inside me said stop, take a minute, take a deep breath. Take a deep breath! Take a deep breath!? Yeah right, I’m fuming. My hand has balled up into a fist and I’m ready to unleash a shit storm.
How I Met My Future Husband
On the 20th of June in 2009, I moved to Yakima, Washington to be with Rocky. I left Wichita Falls, Texas on a sunny Saturday morning. I was excited yet nervous, wondering if I would recognize Rocky and if it would be an awkward meeting for the first time face to face. Leaving my home of the past year and a half was so hard yet exciting. I love to travel and going on adventures. This would be my latest adventure, going somewhere that I have never been and going somewhere where I don't know a single person. Going to the unknown. My family was with me at the airport to send me off. Leaving my Aunt Tammie was one of the hardest things that I ever had to do. She is one of my favorite people in the world and we have always been close. We hugged and cried and hugged some more. My flight number was called and I wasn't prepared. I didn't even take my motion sickness pill until I went through security where I sat until we boarded the plane. Lucky for me, by the time we disembarked, the pills had taken effect.
A Letter to My Mom
Dear Mom, When I was little, you were what I wanted to be when I grew up. Looking up to you has been one of the greatest things in my life because you are nothing short of amazing. I would watch you brush your teeth, back to front and then your tongue, I'd watch you do your make-up in the morning and play with your lipstick and mascara so that I could look just like you. I would watch you cook dinner and try to help, even though I wasn't tall enough to see over the counter. If one of us got sick, you would take care of us and make sure we stayed in bed. So when you got sick, I would take care of you and make you something like a PB&J because that's all I could master. Let's be honest, I was no Betty Crocker. When I was little, everything you did just amazed me, you were the light in my life. And to this day, 20 years later, you're still amazing the brightest light in my life. You've taught me my whole life to put others before myself, not because you did. But because of this feeling you get from helping the people you care about. The feeling you get from being selfless and making someone else's life a little better before your own. I wish more than anything, that I can make your life a little better, for as long as I possibly can. You gave me this life, and for that, I am so thankful. But more importantly, because of that, I want to make the best of the life you gave me.
"You know I'm surprised that you decided to move to Colorado since you love Texas so much." "Hey I love traveling and living in other states. Besides you can't stand the heat and Colorado is as best place as any for you to live in. I do like it here. It's simple and quiet." I smile at him, always thinking of me first, but I'm glad he likes it here too.
The plug has been pulled. 20 years of a life filled with consistency and stability upended in 80 minutes, it doesn’t seem right. I doubt that any kind of warning would have made this easier though. Maybe it would have just made me angrier. That’s about all I feel anymore anyway, anger. Rage. And here I sit with fists that feel like lead. My heart wants to punch holes in these walls that surround me. Punch holes through paint spattered canvases and picture frames, but I don’t even have the strength to do so. I can barely lift these lead heavy hands high enough to hold the pen I wrote this with.
Sometimes Leaving Home Is the Only Way to Find Home
I think I was around 10 years old when I learned about my family members that lived in different parts of the world: Canada, the U.S., and Europe. Some happened to be part of my nuclear family, close members that I had never met and likely to never meet, because they had "refused" to come back home—Rwanda home.
To Those Who Don't Consider Their Hometown "Home"
With the holidays coming up it's hard not to think about going "home" for the holidays. But not all of us consider our hometown to be "home." The town I grew up in was a prison for me, not always. It was only after I had moved away and then moved back to my hometown that I really began to realize that I didn't belong there. That it no longer felt like home.
Coping with Toxic People; Friends, Lovers, and Even Family
Our mother and father were at one point our sole caregivers. Our self worth/significance was based upon how well nurtured we were. Neglect and abuse have a direct effect on the brain. If you came from an abusive household you will more than likely search for that. Chaos is all you know.
This last week has made me realise something—work does NOT equal life. We talk often of a "work-life" balance. And then most of us completely fuck this off in one direction or other and the scales are tipped out of kilter.
Finding Yourself a Pearl
At 18 do you know where life is going to take you? Of course not. The world is your oyster; everything is in front of you and nothing is impossible.
Fishman Chapter Six
Kathleen left everything to Ruth when she died. She had already given me all her video games before she became poorly. It’s been years since I stood in front of this house. I can feel an eerie breeze down my neck as flock of leaves blow by my chest.