Committing to a long-term relationship just as your adult life has gotten started (or even before) isn’t for everyone. But if you find yourself in love and want to spend forever with that person, there are a few things you should know straight away.
The thing about relationships like marriage is they aren’t easy. They are damned time consuming and often painful…even the good ones. They also have the potential to be the most fulfilling thing you’ll ever do with your life. So, what is it exactly that makes a relationship good or bad? That’s a tough question because you are always dealing with two distinct and different personalities. But, as the title suggests, I do have an opinion or two.
Counselling skills are what therapists use when working with a client. You may think that only counselors would have use for these skills but you would be wrong. Anybody can make use of these skills to improve their relationships, become better listeners, or be more of a support to their friends and family.
It's super normal for couples to butt heads and disagree on certain things in a relationship. You're definitely not the only one getting into arguments with your loved one; even I deal with so many difficult situations with my boyfriend. We'll start to argue every now and then, but it used to be much worse in the past. The two of us would strongly disagree on things and it would often take a few days to solve the issue. There were times when we didn't even solve anything but pushed it to the side, which was something we shouldn't have done.
It’s hard to accept that the person you are with now had a life before you. Loving someone and being loved is a different feeling far beyond what words can explain. However, loving someone means loving every part of them. It seems simple, but is harder than it seems because we are exposed to things that we never thought would cross the path of the relationship. Pasts are supposed to be left behind, but is it really left behind? The mind is powerful as we constantly wonder if they think about their exes and how we can be better. We often forget that they were not born yesterday and they experienced life before meeting us. This means that they could have loved someone else before. Does this make the love they have for us less meaningful? A question we cannot answer because we are consumed with thoughts of their past, that we cannot allow ourselves to move on. Insecurities creep in and we wonder if we are good enough. Pasts are haunting, but should we allow them to be the determinates of our relationships? Trust is hard to give and when earned people can choose to follow it or ignore the power behind the word. It’s not fair to ourselves if we hold on to trust because we are afraid it will be taken for granted. Instead, we should give trust because in life we have to take risks and learn from experiences. Along with love comes fear. Fear of losing individuality, hurting someone, and heartbreak. If we are confident in the relationships we get into, why are we negative from the start about the unknown? If we question the person we love, is it love? With love comes stress because we want to know if the person we love is as loyal to us as we are to them. The issues we encounter are preventable with communication, trust, and passion. Every relationship is different, but the basis of successful relationships is all universal. Love can drive people crazy because we do not know how to incorporate the basic means of a relationship. How do we forget about the exes and not compare? It’s hard not to let your mind wander and wonder why that person is not here. However, that should be our answer. Exes are not in that person’s life for a reason. We are in the relationship because we have something to offer that others did not. The one we love will not be able to forget about their exes if we are constantly insecure about them. Maybe we inflict pain upon ourselves as we are the ones obsessed with their past. To alleviate the stress and worry, we have to allow the past to stay in the past and focus on the present. The past is not only the problem, but the thought about the future can cause problems. Why worry about what did not happen yet? We cannot assume the person we love will change or stay the same. The future is unpredictable and if we try to control it, it could lead to a different outcome than expected. Love is best when it is present. Enjoying the moments and the time we have together because it will not have thoughts of the past lingering. It also won’t have the anxiety of the future intruding on our happiness. Love is not something we can control, but we can do certain things for ourselves to feel confident and to try to be the best significant other. The goal, in the end, is to spread positivity towards the relationship and hopefully it will radiate and the feelings will be reciprocated.
So by now I'm assuming you've watched my video on why ghosting is a good thing. But what's NOT so good about ghosting is being the victim of getting ghosted. It just feels so CRAPPY!
When I was 23, I found myself in my hotel room in NYC, crying so hard into my pillow that it was turning into a scream and that scream turned into a hyperventilating kind of cry that I couldn't quite stop. It was all because my boyfriend of a year and a half had ended our relationship with a text message a few hours before. I had tried to keep my composure when I got the text, figuring it was not real or just a usual fight that we'd settle. Something harsh, cold, and too extreme that he would take back. But, it wasn't. And he was serious. I'll never forget the way I typed: Are you breaking up with me? And all he wrote was: Yes. We just are on different paths. So simple, yet who would know that it would make my 23rd year the most difficult year of my life.
Hi-I'm Rebecca J. Brock and I'm a writer and an intuitive love coach.
Ok guys-has this ever happened to you? You meet a gorgeous, intelligent girl. You think, she's perfect for me. And you're perfect for her! But something creeps inside of you and you start to feel insecure. You think that maybe she's too good for you, and maybe you're not good enough for her. You start to wonder: How do I land this girl? Well I'm here to tell you. There is a strategy!
In this day and age, it's hard and almost a bit ridiculous to believe that everyone's "soulmate" would live just a few miles away. The world is a huge place, flooded with so many kinds of people who you have yet to meet but one way to do that is through the internet! With various forms of social media, including dating apps, you can come across people who may live across the state, country, or even world! You may just meet someone and fall in love. Although, when it comes to the distance, what is there to do? Now, as someone who has been in a long distance relationship, it is hard and there is nothing that will change that fact. However, there are things you can to do that ease the heartache of being away from the person you love most and make it work!
Love is a complicated phenomenon. Being in love can be both the easiest and the hardest thing you'll ever have in your life.
If you’re somewhat new to the singles scene, you may have noticed that everyone seems to be swiping, not dating. Welcome to the new swipe happy dating culture! I’ve been divorced for more than a decade now, and I’m still swiping left when I should’ve swiped right…or was it the other way around? Anyhow, once something takes hold and becomes popular, you may as well embrace it! After all, these dating apps aren’t going anywhere. In fact, new ones keep popping up every day. So, let’s embrace change and learn how to navigate it, shall we?