Six years ago I met a guy who set my entire being on fire. I’m a preacher’s kid, so up until college I had never really experienced much other than drunken theatre party kissing, and I was too self-conscious and inexperienced to do anything about my raging sexual desires (it's always the quiet ones I’m telling you). I’d had crushes, child-like obsessions, but never had I experienced a mental and physical awakening than I did when I met him. Something in the way he looked at me, spoke to me, hell, the sheer fact that he wanted me made me both excited and terrified. Most of all, it made me addicted to him. I wanted him, I wanted his brain, I wanted his conversations, I wanted his laugh, I wanted his smile, I wanted his love. The sad part about it was, he was broken. Recently shattered and shut down to anything other than sexual desires, things that I was too nervous and not at all versed or confident in. I wanted time, he wanted action. He also wanted my friend, newly met as well, also recently broken, well versed in her sexual desires. They clicked at a speed that I could not keep up, nor was I at all happy about. It became a silent battle between me and her, frenemies to the tenth power. Passive-aggressive conversations, silent glaring, a battle of wills as we fought over his attention. Secret nights in the study room, slowly opening myself up to him mentally and physically in the hopes that he would choose me, that he was patient enough to work with me on my fears and my nervousness. Hope that he would take care of my body like he said he would via text, or the late nights when it was just us. It wasn’t enough. He chose her and I found out via Snapchat from a party that I wasn’t even invited to (we had the same friend group mind you). I was shattered. I had fallen for him in the time I was fighting for him, and seeing him hold her, kiss her the way I wanted him to hold me, it hurt more than anything I can remember. The very guy who told me he didn’t want a relationship, the very guy who took my virginity, asked her to be his girlfriend just days later.

We all have lessons to learn in life, and that was a hard 7 year lesson, but ready to re-start my life. Get done what I need to get done and that’s helping people, helping people who can’t speak up for themselves, abused men, woman and children, every person who needs my help and positivity, starting with my Home Town, people think living in the US should be great, home of the free, except we can’t openly write about content that is Non-Conforming, Out of the Realm of the Reality We Have Illusioned Ourselves with, I’d rather be me anyday of the week than A Mindless Conformer who has No Personality. I’m that person either You Hate Me or You Love Me No In Between. I know at this stage in life who Iam and What I’m not gonna be, and What I’ve Learned.

There's no other way to say it- being cheated on sucks. Having gone through a terrible breakup and dealt with the emotional trauma of being cheated on multiple times, it was definitely a long road. I was in my first relationship with whom I put all my trust in when I was 16 to 19-years-old. It ended with me finding out he cheated on me for two years out of the almost three we dated, with many girls who I knew and was friendly with. It may sound dramatic, call me young and naive, but I wasn't sure how to move on with my life from all that I've known before. I felt like all I now knew was being betrayed, serially lied to, and forever hurt.

I have a friend that is seemingly always crying over her “love” life. After giving her advice multiple times, I realized that she is choosing to not listen to me, only to herself, and is only creating these unfortunate events on her own. As a result, we aren’t very close because it is the only thing she mostly mentions in her life, and I decided I could no longer attempt to help. When it comes to our lives, most of us end up doing what we ultimately want to do.

Welcome! This is a guide for the newly informed individuals who don't know much about the hashtag outside of it being something of a nuisance because you think the world did not know that every human life on this earth does matter. In a nutshell; hashtag black lives matter was established as a campaign against police departments all across America who treat members of the African-American or Black communities as if their having a family or a job does not discourage the members of police departments from assuming that any black person is capable of criminal activity.

This part of the series will be focused on the fact that you unknowingly got involved with a narcissist. The mask kept their true identity hidden. More likely than not, you didn’t become aware of their true nature until they showed their true colors. None of this is your fault!

Have you ever had directions explained to you something like this? “if you see the big pink building, then you know you’re going the right way.”

What i'm about to say is going to mold your character and challenge you to evolve as an individual and as a partner. 

Thinking Clearly

In Latin we call it Dolor

In the summer of 2012. I met a younger man for a relationship on Craigs List. He was very tall and blonde and very good looking. He was 24 and I was 58 at the time. He looked like a fashion model. He was a gay man from my area. He didn't have a car or a job or much money. I met him and took him over my place. We talked and seemed to hit it off. I then took him for some pizza and took him home. He seemed nice but a little strange.

This is a good question not to ignore as it is a big red flag for both sexes to pay close attention to!