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Surviving a Rejection and Finding a New Yet Worthy Love

It's true, no one always gets it the first time around.

By Marta LevchenkoPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Dealing with rejection can be mentally tormenting, but it should not be a reason to hold you back.

At some point in life, you will face different kinds of rejection. Regardless of the cause, it is going to hurt. Despite giving your all, you still didn’t get what you wanted in the end.

Now you might think that being rejected is the hardest part. In truth, the process of bouncing back from it is the real struggle. When you can’t let yourself be in control of your emotions and decisions, going through rejection can tear you apart.

According to Leslie Becker-Phelps, Ph.D., a psychologist and author of Bouncing Back from Rejection: Build the Resilience you Need to Get Back Up When Life Knocks You Down, dealing with rejection negatively can affect your life and personal relationships. It may even lead to conditions such as anxiety and depression.

But the good thing is, you can always come out stronger after being rejected as long as you deal with it the right way.

Below are some strategies to help you cope:

1. Understand the pain you feel.

A line from Peter Van Houten’s "An Imperial Affliction" says that pain demands to be felt. Before you deal with rejection, you must first understand why it’s painful and how it affects you.

Don’t think that you’re in pain because you’re weak or sensitive. Instead, make this pain your pivotal point in becoming a stronger person after going through everything.

2. Practice self-care.

In popular belief, letting out your anger helps in bringing down your negative emotions. However, that is not true because it will only make you feel more offended and angered.

When you deal with rejection, the key is to practice self-care. Engage in activities that calm your mind and distract you from what’s happening. Focus on your inner well-being by looking after your mental health.

Everything that makes you feel at peace is an act of self-care. So when you’re going through a hard time, make sure not to neglect yourself.

3. Take your time.

When you’ve understood the situation you’re in, you should take your time. Don’t push and hurry things, as it will only hinder your healing process.

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Instead, pay attention to your emotions and try not to invalidate yourself. Know that you’re not wrong in feeling a certain way.

4. Turn to the people who are always there for you.

After being rejected, you tend to focus on yourself and the person who hurt you. Often, you detach yourself from your family and friends, believing that you can go through things alone.

In reality, this behavior only worries them. Free yourself from burden by turning to them for moral and emotional support.

After all, this is where the importance of relationships and connections lies.

Rejection is an inevitable part of life, and there’s nothing you can do about it. But the good thing is, you can always learn from it to make yourself better prepared for what’s to come your way.

Finding New Love After Being Rejected

“I’ll never love again.”

Perhaps you’ve said this to yourself a hundred times, believing that you never will. But the truth is, you somehow doubt yourself whether you would be able to resist when your heart beats for someone again.

But thinking of the rejection you went through, you strongly assert that love is the last thing you need.

It’s hard to muster up the courage of finding love again after being rejected. When your heart has just healed, having it broken again might put you in hysteria.

However, it’s always possible for you to find love, and there’s no reason you can’t. Having said this, here’s your guide in trying to find new love:

1. Make sure you’ve given yourself time to grieve. An experience becomes valuable when you learn from it. After being rejected, reflect on yourself so you can let go of who hurt you. This way, you won’t keep repeating the same mistakes.

2. Forgive yourself. Don’t blame yourself for being in such pain, and don’t regret loving the person either. Instead, be kind to yourself. Accept and forgive yourself for making this mistake, as this will be the key to moving forward.

3. Rebuild positive feelings towards your life and yourself. You can’t have a positive outlook in life when you internally harbor negative feelings. Remember that the way you see life itself will project the quality of relationships you have.

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4. Avoid overgeneralization. Just because your previous lover hurt you, it doesn’t mean that all other people will. We are all different, and you must understand that. Having this mindset will only keep you single.

5. Look back on the lessons that you learned. Now that you’ve gone through rejection, it’s now easier for you to spot faulty behavioral patterns from potential partners who are likely to do what your previous lover did. Always be aware of this.

6. Give love time. Everything in life has a timeline, and in love, things are all about fate and destiny. When you meet someone new, don’t make the mistake of rushing things to avoid another heartbreak.

Being hurt should not make you fear loving again. Now that you want to open your heart, where and how should you look for your match?

Give Online Dating a Try

The internet's your friend. Find love online.

Online dating is an accessible and practical way to meet and date people, no matter where you are in this world. As online dating earns further popularity, more users are signing up, hoping to find their matches.

In fact, a study by the Pew Research Center found that 30% of Americans have used online dating, and roughly 60% of them had positive experiences while on these online platforms.

On the other hand, 12% of the participants have married or are in a relationship with someone they met online. Needless to say, online dating is an effective way to meet your match.

Because it is a great way to socialize and date, using an online dating platform will save you time, help you build confidence, and bring you together with people who share the same interest as you.

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to find your soulmate.

Marta Levchenko, Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant for Foreign Affair (.net)

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About the Creator

Marta Levchenko

Professional Matchmaker and Dating Consultant for Foreign Affair

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