Spoilt for choice

Hal was an analyst. Seeing other people going about their day without thinking of the long-term consequences of their actions made him feel superior in every way. What utter nonsense it was to make life-altering decisions with your gut and to take risks that might lead to chaos. Being rash and shortsighted were the biggest flaws of humanity in his opinion, since the impact of even the most unimportant seeming choices could some day leave you alone in a world without purpose.

Hal had seen through such foolishness at a very young age. After the first gentle reflections about his life were made, he realized how much was to be gained from analysis and the weighing out of pros and cons. Dinner plans were made after nutritional value, friends were chosen after their emotional stability and goodwill and possible employments needed to show clear signs of longevity and financial security. Hal didn’t have a partner yet. Figuring this one out was tough, as there were already too many variables just about the why of a relationship. But there was no need to rush this. In case of uncertainty it was wiser to wait.

A lot of problems, like the one of procreation, were so extensive that he needed to keep an account of his thoughts about it, and he did so in his small black notebook. A banged up thing with some of its pages violently torn out - a painful reminder of the first carefully thought-out decisions that somehow went wrong anyway. Later he had made a pros and cons list about whether to keep failed decisions in there or not and he decided to indeed do so from now on. After all, how could he learn from his mistakes when he forgot about them.

Thanks to his trusty notebook full of analysis and reasoning, Hal had his life under control. He felt safe taking his time and planning ahead. His steady income, stable relationships and good health were proof of the effectiveness of this habit. Nothing could ever make him break his own rules, not a beautiful woman, not a puppy with big eyes, waiting to be adopted, and not even this bag full of money.

It was just lying there in the alley on his way back home, a small cul-de-sac with a fire escape on one wall and lily-scented steam coming out from a vent on the other. Probably from a laundry room, Hal thought. The bag was open and seemed to have been thrown away in a hurry, leaving a few of the greenish bundles lying on the dirty floor beside it. Hal was good with numbers - a necessity for his analyses - so he tried to make out the amount of bundles and multiplied that with the standard number of bills in such bundles. He came to the conclusion that this bag of money must contain 20,000 Dollar. Impossible to know exactly from that distance, some would argue, but Hal really was good with numbers, so.

Any other person would have taken the money by now, no need to count it, just grab it and buy something fancy. But not Hal. He took out his notebook, readied his pen and flipped to the next free page. He wrote “Take abandoned bag of money?”, and under that he carefully drew the lines for his pros and cons chart. Most would believe Hal to be out of his mind not to take immediate advantage of this situation. How could free money be a bad thing at all? Well, back in '17 Hal was surprised at how bad a decision it was to buy his cousin that lovely bouquet of flowers for her birthday. But he didn’t want to think of that anymore, it was too painful a memory. Now, a surplus of money sounded all well and good at first, but it could hide some bitter truths that were damaging to his carefully planned life. Whatever these trappings were, his list would show.

He began with the positive aspects, since he was convinced that starting on a good note was better for his sanity. He had figured that one out in one of his earlier lists somewhere but was sure enough about it to not feel the need to read it again. An obvious upside was the possibility to finally buy a car. It took him 58 Minutes to get to work and the same amount to get back home again, logically. Almost two hours lost in a smelly subway that could be spend with a bit of well paid overtime at the office instead. The next important thing on the list was his mother. She was unable to work since some years and all alone after his fathers death. 20,000 Dollar could make things substantially easier in her premature retirement. He could already see her astonished face in his mind's eye when he handed her the money. Hal had to admit that his mother was actually more important than a car, so he drew a double sided arrow to indicate a swap of these two items. Then there was his fridge. It wasn’t all that necessary, but that uneconomical monstrosity ate away on his electricity bill and additionally it didn't freeze his food continuously anymore. He got some mean food poisoning from insufficiently frozen halibut two years ago, it was awful.

It was easy for Hal to find good reasons to take the money. To remedy financial shortcomings always was a good thing just in and out itself, no argument there. But what about psychological or legal consequences? He was sure he would find some flies in the ointment here and so he put the pen down at the top of the cons list. Being victim of a destructive shift in character was a likely result of having too much money at hand so suddenly. Hal worked too hard to keep his life in order, what if the money would bring out the demons in him? And what about his friends? It was possible that his relationships would change when his lucky finding became known. Some things are impossible to predict and Hal didn’t think some money worth a broken friendship. There was also the issue of ownership. Was he even allowed to keep so much unidentified money? And could he live with the thought of having destroyed someone else's life? This bag didn’t fall from the sky, it had been owned by someone and this one might be in a lot of trouble now and just on his way back here. And what if someone saw him take the money? He could be followed and mugged.

Hal realized once again how helpful it was to think things through, all these negative points truly scared him. He was so absorbed with his pros and cons list that he didn’t notice the stranger that came to a halt just a few steps in front of him. The man looked several times back and forth between Hal and the bag full of money. It seemed an odd situation to him but after having assessed that Hal and the bag didn’t belong together, he shrugged his shoulders, took the bag and ran. He was gone in the blink of an eye.

Hal just stood there, gaping. Somehow he hadn’t seen that coming and there wasn’t a list yet for the pros and cons of making some decisions faster. A feeling of dismay washed over him and he had to think about so many more good reasons for taking the money now. There was no way it could have taken a bad turn, it was absurd.

For a few minutes he just stared at the now empty street with an equally empty mind. He took a long deep breath, closed his notebook and threw it into the alley. He wanted to toss the pen as well but he paused and put it back into his suitcase instead. Hal didn't know why yet and he didn’t care. It was just a gut decision.