Something Is Seriously Wrong with Me

It’s been a painful time-consuming process to come to a realization: there’s no legitimate possibilities for me to make a decent income and be able to cope with increasing bills. Don’t get me wrong, money for me had never been a fetish or an obsession. As long as I meet my obligations and don’t fall behind with covering my debts, I am content and enjoy my life to fullest whether I have millions of dollars in my bank account or not.

Recent decline in global economy and the recession felt by every country in turn affected my ability however, even if having a well-paid full-time job. Me being ambitious and industrious me, I threw myself in various ventures to save myself from debt pit.

First from what I’ve tried was People Per Hour, a freelance site that offers various ways for people to earn extra cash and states they will be able to find online jobs that will pay a decent amount. You must post an offer however to start. I have an extensive knowledge and experience with Tableau reporting software and building complex dashboards. And these skills I used for advertising the service I can provide for certain amount. How many employers were willing to hire me for the service I was offering? LOL, none. My bids for various projects also brought me nothing as competition is high. Moving on.

As stated on their home page Clickasnap is the only platform in the world where you get paid when your photos are viewed. Plus, it’s FREE to sign up! Right.

The way to earn money on this platform is to upload your photos and get paid for views ( when people viewed the photos uploaded by you). There are drawbacks, of course. You must pay subscription of £59.99 to be able to turn views into paid views, be at Pro level. In a way, similar to Vocal Media. And the price per view is… well, let’s say for 1000 paid views you will get whooping $7. Mind, people must stay on a photo for 10+ seconds so that a view would count as paid. Too much time was required for uploading the photos, replying to the likes and comments left by viewers, returning the favor with likes and comments for their photos as well. I wasn’t willing to quit my full-time job. Moving on.

That was my biggest hope, when opening an online shop on Etsy. I am an avid knitter from my childhood years, and good with crafts too. Was I too arrogant to think that unique handmade items, designed by yours truly, would be sold as soon as they have been added to the listing? Uh-huh. I do realize that it’s expensive to buy them as the yarn comes at outrageous price and a lot of time is needed to complete a piece. Most people prefer cheap acrylic clothes, worn for some time and discarded without regret. Handmade knitted clothes are special. Just to make sales and apply my skills I should partake the knitting for dogs and cats then as my son suggested. Smaller and less expensive. Not sure if there’s any joy in designing and creating them though. For now, that Etsy shop is just there with no sales. Moving on.

Few years back I published a book Hello From Scammer, with the intent to share my experience in scam hunting and facts I know about the scamming business. $2000 of self-publishing cost and years later the book still resides on Amazon, not thought after, at all. Another failure? Moving on.

In between the mentioned above ventures there were many more, smaller: paid surveys, applications for freelance content writing jobs, other platforms for freelancers like Upworks, affiliate marketing with Amazon, you name it.

Now, seeing those Instagram and Meta posts and reels about mad money made online, I just shake my head. Probably it’s only for selected people who are totally normal, not like me. And that makes me what?...

A Wrong Person.

So here I am, resolved not to spend long hours in search for opportunities anymore and saying my goodbye to working nonstop in all directions.

Goodbye to that ambitious person naively believing in herself, trying out new ways in attempt to successfully establish herself and find her niche.

Oh, and along the way, just to be consistent, a special Goodbye to that respectful, understanding, and caring person she’s been, as well as to lying manipulative pathetic ingrates who tried to get advantage of her sincere willingness to help, mistaking her kindness for weakness.

I don’t want to be that person anymore. I am not her; I don’t know her anymore.

Hello to New Me.

From now on it’s only my own happiness, time for myself and, most importantly, my peace of mind. Even if it would require discerning the people I meet and their promises with cynicism and distrust.