Social Travails in the Southwest

After graduating from a high school in Pennsylvania, I attended and graduated from a technical institute. I, then, used my associate’s degree in mechanical drafting to work as a drafter for two years, before making my way to Tucson, Arizona. After working as a food delivery driver for two years, I decided to return to school. And pursuing an engineering degree was the next logical step on the career path I’d started on in high school.

The big social shock occurred when I began studying towards an engineering degree at a local community college. The shock occurred when I was rudely persuaded by the college algebra instructor to change my educational path to the liberal arts. The excessive pressure from the instructor put me in crisis, and I even loathed science and math after this. Still, I worried that I would be treated like this by other math teachers. Consequently, I studied political science and graduated with honors. However, I didn’t view graduation as a celebration because I was, still, recovering from the crushed dream. Still, I doubted that I would be capable of finding satisfying employment.

I was unsettled and upset over the reality of the harassment. As a result, to gain a tested confirmation, I started another degree in accounting. A similar situation occurred that involved high amounts of pressure from an algebra instructor. Eventually, after getting discriminated against by an accounting course instructor, I dropped out. This solidified the fact that I was being discriminated against. Though the truth is elusive like a land of plenty where there is no want and hearts are satisfied, I have concluded that were I in Pennsylvania I’d be a mechanical engineer.

I can’t say there is no value that has come from my undesirable experiences at the community college. The situations did put me on a path towards being a lover of the written language and words. It took several years after obtaining a bachelor’s degree in psychology to appreciate grammar and the act of writing. At first, I, and at times still do, loathed writing because it can be cathartic, and I had a lot of processing to do. Still, I did want to be a mechanical engineer.

I wanted the financial security it offered. I wanted better workplace associations. I wanted to use my cognitive abilities because it was satisfying. I wanted to be able to associate with a more sophisticated echelon of people outside of the workplace, also. The social exchange theory sets forth that people will engage with others based on the benefits and costs of the relationship. I believe this to hold weight. As a result of not attaining a more beneficial status, I was prevented from forming relationships that had a lower cost. This realization was frustrating.

As I continue to spill words on the page, I have learned to appreciate the ability to create and put thoughts and ideas that would otherwise be lost and disregarded with time. It has given me self-appreciation where once failure had promoted self-hate and disgust. Writing is a form of therapy that can make the psychological pain come rushing back even harsher than before, despite, its help in processing trauma.

All in all, moving to southern Arizona was a social shock for me. The egregious display of disregard for the gift it is to be human was something I’d never imagined would happen to me. The blatant act of discrimination disgusted me. It also raised questions for me related to ethics and morality. I gained a shocking understanding of the mass shootings that have been occurring in America. I don’t sympathize for the criminals of these acts. However, after the repulsive disregard for my well-being by others, I’m left with the horrific question – Is it justified? If someone had experienced discrimination and harassment that resulted in the ruining of their life and future, what are the options other than to accept the suffering and value life?