So You Spent Valentine’s Day Alone

So you spent Valentine’s Day alone. You had expectations of how it might go, good or bad, and maybe prepared for the worst. You might have sent your crush a message about Valentine’s Day plans and switched off your notifications, sweating with anxiety the whole day, as you try to distract yourself by binge-watching series or being extra productive, or perhaps you were hopeful that they felt the same way about you the whole time.

Regardless of your expectations, things didn’t quite go the way you planned. And it turns out they aren’t interested in you in the way you’d want them to be, they didn’t treat you in the way you’d like to be treated on a day of love, and now you’re reading this, trying to understand how to process your feelings.

Take a deep breath. It’ll all be fine. A lot of people are in your shoes, you’re not alone and rejection is part of life. In fact rejection is important and can be one of the best things to ever happen to you.

If someone rejects you, it helps to know that they're doing you a favour. It’s better to be surrounded by people who want to be in your life because they appreciate you and the unique magic only you can bring to the table.

Their rejection is not about you, but about their perception that has been formed from their own unique experiences in life. Their standard of beauty is not everyone’s standard of beauty neither is their standard of personality everyone’s standard of personality.

Sometimes the absence of people creates new spaces for new interesting people to come into your life, people who would teach you new things and expose you to things you didn’t think were possible.

They’re not your all or nothing, and you will find connections with others that whilst different, could be equally and more fulfilling. Your lack of compatibility with each other doesn’t mean you’re less of a person than you were before you expressed your feelings or got rejected.

Sometimes encounters are meant to be short, sometimes the lessons you need to learn from people can be learnt in very short periods of time. That doesn’t make the encounter less important but stretching things further than they should go can bring about negative feelings that will end up outweighing the positive experiences you had with each other.

It hurts now, but your feelings are valid, all of it. It’s normal to be angry, sad or even jealous. Allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up, take all the time you need to heal, and do whatever is in your best interests.

Once you’re in a better headspace, move on. Don’t imprison yourself in an obsessive state of mind or hope that they’d come around later, you’d be punishing yourself twice which would lead to more negative feelings later on in the future.

Half-heartedness, lukewarmness, hesitation, mediocrity would have only affected you negatively in the long run. You’re enough, you’re unique and you deserve only those who are sure, passionate and have your best interests at heart around you.

Over time you’ll be grateful for the rejection when you see yourself growing, thriving, making new connections and becoming the best version of yourself you could possibly ever be.

In the mean time, here are some songs to encourage you, offer motivational perspectives about being alone, and contain self-love affirmation lyrics. You’ve got this!

Love myself, Hailey Steinfeld

I'm gonna put my body first

And love me so hard 'til it hurts

Thank you next, Ariana Grande

I've learned from the pain (pain)

I turned out amazing (turned out amazing)

I've loved and I've lost (yeah, yeah)

But that's not what I see (yeah, yeah)

'Cause look what I've found (yeah, yeah)

Ain't no need for searching

Happy Alone, Saintsenaca

And I'll be alone

Happy alone

I'll be alone

Happy alone

Call what you want

And I'd be alone

Solitude is bliss, Tame Impala

Space around me where my soul can breathe

I've got body that my mind can leave

Nothing else matters, I don't care what I miss

Company's okay

Solitude is bliss

Feeling good, Nina Simone

Birds flyin' high, you know how I feel

Sun in the sky, you know how I feel

Breeze driftin' on by, you know how I feel

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me

Happy girl, Beth Nielsen Chapman

Laugh when I feel like it

Cry when I feel like it

That's just how my life is

That's how it goes

Hand in my pocket, Alanis Morissette

I'm broke but I'm happy, I'm poor but I'm kind

I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah

I'm high but I'm grounded, I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed

I'm lost but I'm hopeful, baby

What it all comes down to

Is that everything's gonna be fine, fine, fine

That’s my girl, fifth harmony

You've been down before

You've been hurt before

You got up before

You'll be good to go, good to go

Destiny said it, you got to get up and get it

Get mad independent and don't you ever forget it

Got some dirt on your shoulder, then let me brush it off for ya

Feeling myself, Nicki Minaj ft Beyoncé

I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my

Feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my, feelin' my

Feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my

Feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my

Stronger, Kelly Clarkson

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Stand a little taller

Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

What doesn't kill you makes a fighter

Footsteps even lighter

Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

I’ll still have me, CYN

If I don't have you

At least I'll still have me

And if I don't have you

At least I'll still have me