Snow Snakes and Skiing

My buddy said that she is pretty and a lot of fun. He thinks we will go well together. I’m not sure, but her picture is nice, and I would like to get out and have some fun. We’ll start by hitting the ski slopes spending the day at our favorite sport and then go to the local cave for dinner, some Merlot, a warm fire and who knows where it could lead.

We originally scheduled the date for last week, but I could tell that I was about to shed my skin and felt that I would make a better impression with the new one. So, I chose to wait just a few days and rescheduled with her. It was well worth it! Today my scales are glimmering, pure white and in just the right light reflect the perfect rainbow of colors. All I need to do is to slither around in some scale polish and I should be dashing. We will meet next to the large pine tree near the timberline run. It is a steep slope, challenging but not too difficult. It attracts all levels of skiers, beginners who like to try something more difficult and advanced skiers who falsely think that they can take this trail without effort. It’s a fun spot for us.

I wind down the mountain, off tail and slither in and out of ruts left by backwoods skiers. I duck down under the snow where the humans can’t see me, wiggle through the back and around to the pine tree. There she is shimmering in the sunlight. She is not quite as long as I expected from her picture and a little thicker. Her color looks a little more like dirty snow on one side which can throw off a skier or snowboarder as they think it might be dirt or a rock. But she has a nice smile and seems genuinely happy to see me.

“Hi, I’m Sherbert. You musst be Shelbie.”

“Yes! Sherbert. I’m gladss to meetss you. I heard a lotss about you from your friend, Shrame”. She said as she smiles and flickers her eyes in the most delicate of ways. Which makes me feel a little warm inside.

After a short welcoming talk, we decide to slither over to the ski slope. Despite her short length she slithers very quickly and quite gracefully. Once we get to the slope, we dive right in. The groomed man-made snow is very consistent and easy to wiggle through. We find a good spot which is just right for skiers and boarders to come by.

As an experienced snow snake, I am eager to show her my tricks. One of the advantages of being long is that you can easily flip yourself into a loop and hook it right on a ski or end of a snow board. This usually pulls the ski or board out from under the person and causes them to fall in the most dramatic of ways. I wait patiently and within a short while a skier comes creaming down. Time for me to show off my stuff. Just at the right time I flip my loop, catch his ski and yank. But the skier is experienced and quickly shifts their weight to the other ski. Bobbling some but staying upright. Shelbie laughs but more at me than the skier.

Still snickering she says, “Youss have a nicess technique and very goodss timing, but now it’ss my turn.”

A boarder is next down the slope. But rather than trying to flip a loop and catching the end of their board, Shelbie lies on the snow with her light side up, then rolls over showing her darker side just as the boarder approaches. The boarder thinks they are about to go over a rock and suddenly pulls back a little. At the same time Shelbie quickly gets under the front of the board and pushes it up a little. The combined result is that the boarder’s center of balance moves back over the tail end of the board. When a skier or boarder turns, their weight naturally shifts back. If they start the turn with their weight already back when they turn, they fall down. This is exactly what Shelbie set up. The boarder fell right on their butt, looked confused, rolled over to toe side and got up again.

Shelbie and I laughed our hearts out. It was so beautiful to watch. She was actually fantastically skilled at this.

“I wonderss if we can combine our two techniquess together? You get them to shift their weight backss as I catch their tipss.” I asked.

“Worth a try.” Shelbie responded.

It took some practice; the trimming was difficult to master. But by the end of the day, we could convert the most confident of skier or boarder into a sprawled-out mess with equipment thrown about. It was glorious. I never had such a fun time. Shelbie is a natural! And we worked together in the most magical of ways. We were even able to trip up one skier so badly that he smashed into his buddy and both of them went down. After a full day of laughter and excitement with more falls than I can remember we were tired and it was time to head to the cave for dinner.

The cave is a favorite of the local snow snakes. There is a warm fire and the food is good. Shelbie and I snuggled as we wrapped around a glass of Merlot together. The perfect ending to a wonderful first date.