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Signs You've Been Breadcrumbed

Don't fool yourself; if you see signs you've been breadcrumbed, it's time to dump 'em.

By Ossiana TepfenhartPublished 6 years ago 7 min read

Breadcrumbing sucks, and it's all too common. No, we're not talking about the cooking term "breadcrumbing," which involves covering meats and veggies in bread before deep-frying them. We're talking about dating breadcrumbing, which is when people actively lead you on and keep you in the aisles.

Breadcrumbing happens when someone doesn't want to admit that they aren't willing to pursue a person romantically, but they don't want to completely write you off. Rather, they choose to sporadically text you and act sweet, just to keep you interested and available - without actually having any intention of doing anything serious with you.

It's brutal, and being breadcrumbed can seriously hurt your ego and your ability to find love. That's why it's best to dump someone the moment you notice signs you've been breadcrumbed – much like these below.

You can never find a time to meet up with them and just talk to one another.

One of the biggest signs you've been breadcrumbed is how they treat your time. People who are serious about you won't just meet up when sex is on the table, and they won't constantly have an excuse as to why they can't be bothered to see you.

If you ask them to meet in a public place, and they never seem to be available for that, then chances are that they are breadcrumbing you. If they do this more than twice, then there's absolutely no reason to speak with them.

If you ask them when they will meet with you, and they keep giving vague excuses, then chances are they really just are enjoying their "breadcrumb time" - and the attention you're giving them.

They keep texting you at random times, usually like once a month or so.

One pretty obvious sign you've been breadcrumbed is that the breadcrumbing party only messages you sporadically – maybe even once a month. The reason people do this is because texting is one of the easiest ways to get people interested in you and feed your ego.

If someone seems to be very interested one minute, then stops responding to your text once you show interest, it may be time to call them out on it. Or, if you notice that they only call you at times when it's late night, it may be time to just shut your phone off. Or, if you're the nonconfrontational type, just stop answering their calls. You get the point.

There's no reason to tolerate this kind of behavior, and frankly, it's a waste of time to reply to their messages.

They regularly make a point of telling you that you are not going to ever be in a relationship with them, but get sour when they see you with another partner.

Breadcrumbing, if you haven't noticed, is all about feeding your ego. If breadcrumbing didn't feed one's ego, there would be no reason to really do it.

That being said, people who breadcrumb tend to be the type who need to feel like they are wanted and adored by everyone - even if it's to the detriment of the other person's wellbeing.

That's why many people who breadcrumb will try to convince their target not to go with someone else, even when a relationship is off the table with them. It's an act of selfishness and immaturity.

If you notice them behaving this way, don't take it as a sign that they "finally saw the light." It's one of the more subtle signs you've been breadcrumbed, and if you listen to them, you'll end up losing out on someone who really does want to be with you.

They don't respond to your texts, but when they see you, they're all smiles.

This sign you've been breadcrumbed can be particularly awkward, primarily because they're trying to make it impossible for you to not look unreasonable, rude, or mean when they act so sweet in public. This is often done by guys who want to "keep up appearances."

Frankly, if you notice this behavior, there's absolutely no reason you need to play along. Act aloof, and ask why they think it's okay to behave so buddy-buddy when they don't have the courtesy to reply to texts. Usually, this alone will make them realize that breadcrumbing others isn't acceptable.

Their primary way of flirting is via social media.

One of the signs you've been breadcrumbed often lies in how they reach out to you. More specifically, if people only reach out to you via social media or via texting sprees, then you might need to rethink how you see them.

Flirting via social media doesn't mean that they actually have any seriousness in who they're talking to. In fact, it usually is a sign that they are actually doing it on the down-low, or that they are doing the same to multiple people.

Texting and DMs are a cheap, easy way to get the ego strokes they want. Don't fall for it.

They also tend to appear and disappear in your real life, too.

"Yeah, yeah, we should totally hang out again!"

3 weeks later, radio silence.

4 weeks later, you see photos of them with people you know at a concert you wanted to go to.

Sound familiar?

One of the most common signs you've been breadcrumbed is if they do it to you in real life, too. No one needs people who are that inconsistent - and really, there's no reason why you shouldn't bail on them next time you see them. It's disrespectful enough to warrant a cold shoulder, don't you think?

His texts and DMs sound like they were written by a 12-year-old.

The thing about breadcrumbing is that it's literally the pinnacle of laziness. One of the easiest to spot signs you've been breadcrumbed, therefore, is in the way they talk to you online.

Simply put, their texts will be lazy. They will very likely say "Wyd?" instead of, "Hey, I just saw the latest Star Trek episode. How've you been?" They will use a ton of emojis. Their spelling and grammar will take a nosedive.

Why? Because men who breadcrumb girls aren't looking to show respect. It's about them, not you.

You feel like you have to fight for every little "crumb" they give you, and if you stand up for yourself, they'll leave.

Sometimes, the signs you've been breadcrumbed are more about how they make you feel than anything else. Do you feel like you're literally begging for scraps of attention? Does the way he make you feel upset you, or make you feel insecure?

Do. Not. Put. Up. With. This.

Guys who like or love a girl will not make them beg for attention, plead with them, or cry over them. They would prioritize them. This guy, whether he'll admit it or not, doesn't give a rat's ass about you.

It's better to stand up for yourself and let him leave, because, in reality, he was never there to begin with. Your time is best used looking for a real relationship that has signs that it could go the distance. Let him try his dating breadcrumbing tactics on someone else - someone who is not you.

He talks a big talk, but when it comes to what he'll actually do? Nope. Nada.

This isn't so much one of the signs you've been breadcrumbed as it is a sign of the kind of guy you're dealing with. Breadcrumbing is a dating move that is all about trying to fool someone into thinking that the potential of love is there when it really isn't.

It's about image; not reality. The person in question doesn't care about the relationship you could offer them, because their actions aren't about you. It's about them, their selfish needs, and the insecurities they're trying to soothe.

Unfortunately for guys who do the whole "dating breadcrumbing" thing, there's nothing in this life that can provide them the self-esteem and validation they're seeking. It's an empty promise, on top of an empty, hollow, and lazily put-together scheme.

Try as they might, they won't get the self-esteem they want from doing this. All they'll get is more hollow - unless they themselves decide to make a change within.


About the Creator

Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

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