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Signs that you are not sure of your relationship

Adults' relationships are impacted by their experiences as children

By sara trifPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
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Signs that you are not sure of your relationship
Photo by Kiran CK on Unsplash

There is a problem in your connection. You are deeply aware of it. You don't have faith in your spouse. You don't believe them when they assure you that everything is fine. Here are seven cues that your relationship is unstable.

You hate their former partner.

Your lover occasionally brings up their ex. This really irritates you. You've seen photos, and their ex clearly had a better appearance than you. They were better looking. They knew more. They represented everything you are not.

It stings every time your partner talks positively about their ex.

You find it hard to comprehend that your partner choose you over another person who was superior in every aspect.

You are secretly worried that you'll lose your partner if their ex returns, therefore you want to learn everything there is to know about their former.

It's true, but you would never tell your lover that.

You monitor their phone and follow them on social media.

You have secretly read their text messages, and you are not proud of it.

You are constantly suspicious of your partner's grins when they check their texts. Is something not right? Do they have a relationship?

You've looked at their Instagram and Facebook accounts. Who is that stranger with them in the picture? Could they be infidelity with you?

And why didn't they disclose that they were dating you? Do they have something to hide?

Do they wish for people to believe they are single?

When they go out with pals, you worry.

You find it difficult to unwind whenever your lover goes out with their buddies. You are concerned that they will meet someone else and ignore you.

There are gorgeous people all around who want to be your mate.

You begin following up with them to make sure they are indeed where they claim to be. And you worry the greatest if they fail to inform you where they went.

You believe that to maintain them, you must appear flawless.

In order to look your best, you spend hours perfecting your looks. It's for your partner, not for you.

You visit a gym and exercise there till you are worn out. You keep an eye on each and every calorie you consume.

You spend a lot of time getting ready and deciding what to wear. You worry that if you make a mistake, your partner will find someone who is more attractive than you.

You see each new friend as a potential threat.

Couple relaxation is impossible. You privately ponder whether they are attracted to each new person they bring around.

You keep an eye on every exchange, wondering if they'll make a move on your love.

You might begin to exert influence over them by dictating whom they can become friends with. You start to despise their other pals who are the other sex as a result of it.

Do they prefer your friend over you? It's a recurring worry of yours.

You are far too attached.

It has reached the point where you want to accompany your spouse everywhere they go, even to the grocery store. After all, everyone is aware that grocery stores are a fantastic place to meet new people.

Your constant want to be with them alone is driving your partner crazy. Around you, they can't breathe.

Everywhere they are, you want to be as well. If they on a business trip, you even become anxious for yourself. Why are you unable to join them?

You need evidence of their affection every day.

It's a serious issue if your lover doesn't profess their love for you ten times per day.

It's still a problem even if they tell you 10 times a day that they love you since you secretly don't believe them.

And because you are insecure, you don't believe them. Because of your extreme insecurity, you fear losing your lover.

Why do you behave this way? This is not how you want to be. You don't want to alienate the one person you care about the most. How do you behave?

The causes of your unease

Adults' relationships are impacted by their experiences as children. By the age of 16, over two thirds of kids had reported experiencing it at least once. The loss of a parent, as well as psychological, sexual, or physical abuse, neglect, and domestic violence, are examples of events.

It is challenging for these kids to trust someone with whom they have a close relationship because they carry the trauma with them as they grow up.

If parents or other trusted people don't help youngsters cope with traumatic circumstances, they may grow up to repeat the trauma in their adult relationships.

Therefore, it's possible that a person will unconsciously select someone who is exactly like the parent who rejected them. They want to undo the harm their relationship caused them. And the result is that they continue to feel rejected.

Until someone ultimately realizes they have a problem and seeks assistance from a therapist who can help them resolve it, they will keep repeating bad habits.

Trust issues with others

If you are in a relationship with an unreliable partner. For instance, it's fair to feel uneasy about someone if you know they've cheated on you in the past and have let you down in the past.

However, if your spouse has not violated your trust and you are still displaying the seven warning signals listed above, you may have an issue that could cause the person you love to grow distant from you.

When you've been left down in life, it's challenging to trust people. In addition, a lack of trust can damage your relationship. It hurts both you and the one you love.

Because of this, it's crucial to understand the seven telltale indicators of relationship insecurity and get counseling for your childhood trauma so you can go on with your life and have a happy, healthy relationship.

fact or fictionhow tohumanitylove
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