Signs Of Cheating That Everyone Misses

There are quite a few signs of cheating that everyone misses — especially when it happens to them.

Signs Of Cheating That Everyone Misses
Photo by Brandy Eve Allen

Cheating is one of those acts of betrayal that is nearly impossible to recover from once it happens. Most people believe that they would know when their partner is cheating, but the fact is that the vast majority of people who have been cheated on are totally blindsided when the truth comes out.

The truth is that there are quite a few signs of cheating that everyone misses — especially when it happens to them. If you're wondering what's going on, you should watch out for the following subtle, easy-to-miss signs he may be seeing someone on the side.

He comes home faintly smelling of sweat, even though it's December and his office isn't really warm.

This is one of those signs that is very subtle and takes a good nose to pick up on. In fact, because of how light the smell of dried sweat can be, this is one of the signs of cheating everyone misses at first display.

Some people are naturally musky and sweaty, but if you notice that this is a relatively recent phenomenon and they haven't changed offices or done anything differently, you should get concerned.

If you notice that he's starting to get a light smell of sweat around him, it could be that he is having a lunchtime affair and has cleaned himself up before returning to the office.

Your partner has gotten very moody — and at times, downright icy towards you.

Most people assume that a moody partner is a sign that they did something wrong to upset the person they're with, or that their partner resents them. It often leads people to wonder if there's something they could have done to prevent the contempt they feel.

It's human nature to assume that you're the one who did something wrong when people treat you badly, which is why this is one of the most insidious signs of cheating that everyone misses.

The problem is that most partners, when they are upset and loyal, will try to talk it out. This is because they don't want to lose the only relationship they have, and because they are still invested in the relationship in full.

People who cheat often start treating their partners like accessories and afterthoughts, which means that they are less likely to care if they are hurting their partners. Some even may feel like their real partners are "stealing away time" from their affair partners — and will treat them poorly because of that.

If you notice they are acting moody or behaving cruelly towards you, you may want to look for more signs of cheating...or just leave. No one has time for a person who only hurts their partner that way.

Their taste in music changes.

This is one of those signs of cheating everyone misses, primarily because they tend to assume it's just a newfound hobby. However, music is a little bit more than just a hobby; it often signals something about your social life.

More often than not, a newfound interest in a different style of music is a sign that they are switching up the company they keep. If all their friends are staying the same, and they won't tell you how they found the music, where are they getting the new influence from?

In many cases, people will gain more interest in music if they get romantically involved with someone who is an avid fan of that music.

Sex grinds to a halt — or suddenly becomes way more frequent.

Cheaters often will see sexual side effects with their main squeeze, even if they are trying their hardest to maintain the image of loyalty. If you're the main girl in the relationship, you probably will notice that sex may have changed in frequency if your partner is cheating.

The vast majority of the time, sex between a cheating person and a spouse will grind to a halt. The reason why is obvious: cheaters get worn out by having sex with others.

However, there are some people who get very turned on by the idea of cheating. People who have infidelity fetishes tend to see their libidos go into high gear.

In both cases, there's always an excuse that they can make to avoid doing the deed or start engaging in it more frequently. Because of how easy it is to excuse, it's one of the signs of cheating that everyone misses.

She asks for space.

Though space is healthy in any relationship, one of the biggest signs of cheating that everyone misses deals with asking for more space. If you have always had a certain level of interaction with your partner, and they all of a sudden feel crowded, you have to question what's going on.

In most loyal relationships, certain levels of closeness are basically expected. Most happy couples would want to see each other at least twice a week or so. Couples in healthy relationships also confide in one another, which means that you would normally also get an update on what their day is like.

If they rarely ever seem to want to talk to you, share their day with you, or meet with you, it should be a warning sign that they may be seeing someone else.

If your partner seems to be distancing themselves emotionally, this could be a sign that you're soon going to be dumped. Worse still, if your partner stops wanting emotional closeness, it could be a sign that you will be dumped for the other person.

The gym suddenly became his number one priority.

It's really nice to see your partner taking care of themselves, but there's a certain point where it should become suspicious. If your partner suddenly is obsessed with having a smoking hot body, but seems oddly disinterested in showing off for you, you need to pause for a moment.

Unless your partner had a certain breaking point with their looks or health, there's not going to be any particular reason to become gym-obsessed outside of trying to get laid.

That being said, there are a lot of legitimate reasons someone may want to take some gym time. They may want to fit better in their favorite jeans, get healthier, lose weight, or feel better.

A partner who takes care of themselves is someone people want to be with — and most of us would encourage our partner to hit the gym. Because most people want to be with a partner who takes care of themselves, a sudden uptick in gym time is one of those subtle signs of cheating that everyone misses.

A good way to find out how likely it is that your partner is cheating, particularly with a fellow gym member, is to see how they react if you ask to join the same gym they do.

Most of the time, cheaters will do what they can to dissuade you from following them to the gym. Meanwhile, a large portion of loyal partners who just happen to enjoy the gym will do what they can to bring you into their hobby because it'd strengthen their relationships.

He stopped complaining.

It's way easier to pick out a moody partner than a partner who seems unusually content, and that's why this is one of the signs of cheating that everyone misses.

When you notice that your partner suddenly stops complaining about things you do, it's easy to feel relieved by the sudden change. However, that sudden change probably should have you asking questions about their current state of mind.

If your partner regularly complained about a specific issue but suddenly stopped, this could be a sign that they are cheating. This is doubly true if they seem unusually content considering what the issue the complained about was.

If you aren't meeting their needs, they might have found someone else who does. People who have their needs met tend to be content, and won't complain to partners who ignored their desires. The same can be said of people who have written off the relationship.

Because of what the sudden change means in terms of their mindset, this is one of the few glaring red flags that just about everyone ignores until it's too late.

They suddenly became super spouse.

Much like suddenly having a surprisingly happy and content partner after a rocky period, a partner that becomes super sweet and attentive should be cause for concern.

The reason why cheaters might seem more attentive and sweet during affairs is that they have a guilty conscience. When some people feel guilty, they do what they can to make the wronged party feel better — even if that party doesn't realize that they've been wronged.

By acting like the World's Best Spouse (TM), they are able to assuage their guilt and rationalize the cheating by saying that they're making both partners happy.

They accuse you of cheating.

The other common way cheaters try to make their guilty conscience rest is to project their guilt onto others. While some might not categorize this among signs of cheating that everyone misses, it's overlooked enough to warrant a place on this list.

Simply put, if your partner feels guilty, they may project their guilt onto you. If you haven't given your partner any reason to believe you're cheating, and they accuse you of cheating, it's very possible your partner is the guilty party at hand.

Not one of his 500 Facebook friends ever likes or comments on his posts except for you.

Some cheaters are downright pros when it comes to keeping partners in the dark — particularly on a social media level, which can often lead to the end of a relationship.

If you notice that you're the only person on his Facebook friends list that ever likes or comments his posts, you need to be a bit suspicious. Even the most unpopular people can get multiple likes on most of their posts.

Why won't any of his hundreds of friends "like" his posts? Could it be that he gave you a "fake out" profile? In many cases, serial cheaters will do that just so that their partners think that he's showing commitment to them on social media.

On a similar note, if he refuses to have a Facebook in his actual name, it's often a sign that he's cheating on you...and that you're the side chick.

They smell super fresh smelling like a soap brand they don't use, but just came back from work.

There seem to be three ways to sniff out a cheater — literally.

The most obvious sign that he's cheating is if he comes home smelling like sex. Everyone with a nose can pick that up, even if their nose is stuffy at the time. Sex has a very strong smell.

The next (but less obvious) sign would be when he comes home smelling of sweat in the middle of the winter when he usually smells great.

The most subtle sign of all, at least in terms of scent, happens when a guy tries to mask the scent of sex by taking a shower and using soap. The reason why this is one of the signs of cheating that everyone misses is that it's the polar opposite of what we'd expect from a cheater.

We always subconsciously associate infidelity with sex, and for good reason. Soap, on the other hand, is clean. We tend not to associate soap smells with sex until we realize that it means he had a shower elsewhere.

A lot of us just don't make that connection until other signs crop up alongside it. Most women who smell a man whose smells of Irish Spring instead of sex won't suspect anything, even if she knows he only has a Dove bar at home.

If he just came back from work but smells fresh as a daisy despite having to take a trip on the subway, you need to question what really happened. Was "traffic really terrible," or was it that he had to clean himself up after a hotel date?

They stopped inviting you to parties and meetings.

Cheaters have a tendency of parsing out their lives into separate compartments — and they do this because they know that keeping everything unified might end up causing their activities to be outed.

As a result, one of the cheater's partners (or both) will end up getting swept under the rug when it comes to social events. In most cases, the cheater will do this to their "main squeeze," because they assume that they have that person "locked down."

If you find yourself literally having to beg your spouse to get invited to parties that he used to ask you to come to, then the chances of him cheating are sky high.

The person who is "totally just a friend" knows way too much about you.

Believe it or not, some cheaters will actually bring the person that they're cheating on their spouses with around their spouse — and even encourage them to be friends. The idea behind this move is that they're trying to groom both partners for an open relationship, or that it'd just be convenient for them.

That being said, most people who are being cheated on have an idea of who the other person probably is...and are wary of them, despite them "just being friends."

One of the signs of cheating that everyone misses with the "just friends" issue happens when the "friend" accidentally lets super-intimate details slip about the cheater.

At first glance, it might just look like they are friends who share a lot of details with one another. However, if the details seem too intimate — or are details they didn't share with you — you should be worried.

This is a sign of an emotional affair. In an emotional affair, the "friend" has replaced you as their main confidante, and that means that it's only a matter of time before a physical relationship starts up.

You can't help but notice that they're started to pick up behaviors that aren't healthy.

A lot of cheaters really can't handle the pain they know they're inflicting on their partners. Depending on the way that their guilt swings, it's possible that they will end up picking up vices that act as a band-aid for their guilt and shame.

One of the signs of cheating that everyone misses actually happens to be a newfound interest in drugs, drinking, or smoking. If he or she has never been the "altered state of mind" type, then you should be concerned for a number of reasons — cheating being one of them.

Something just doesn't feel right.

More often than not, we all have that nagging feeling when something isn't quite right with our relationships. When someone is cheating on you, you might not have proof — but you will have a strange sinking feeling in your gut.

Many people who have been cheated on claimed that they felt like they were losing their partners, or that something "just felt off." If you're starting to get these vibes, there's a good possibility it could be due to infidelity.

Mackenzie Z. Kennedy
Mackenzie Z. Kennedy
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Mackenzie Z. Kennedy

Socialite and dating guru Mackenzie Kennedy knows all about the inner workings of people and society as a whole. It's not only her lifestyle - it's her passion. She lives in Hoboken with her pet dogs, Cassie and Callie.

See all posts by Mackenzie Z. Kennedy