Separated From My Husband But Still Sleeping Together (We Are Separated But Still Having Sex)

When your marriage has taken a turn for the worse, you both may feel that it would be a good idea to separate for a while. Separation is often a good way to find out if the two of you really do want a divorce, or if you want to save your marriage. There are things you should know, however, when looking for marriage separation advice.

One thing you should keep in mind is that this is only a separation. It is not a divorce. It is only a time for the two of you to really take some time and think about your marriage. What is going on - the problems, the good things, and everything in between. Chances are good that once you are separated, you will both realize that you really don't want to live without one another - you do want to save your marriage, after all.

If trust has been broken, by either one of you, you will need to start to repair and rebuild this trust. How? Start by apologizing, if you are the one who broke the trust. If your spouse did, then forgive them. If you don't do one of these things, then you will not be able to fix this.

Trust can be rebuilt many different ways. The easiest way is to start is by doing something simple. If your spouse asks you to do something and you say you will, then do it. Every time you do this, you are one step closer.

While you are separated, make the most of your time by taking care of yourself. Go for walks, to the gym, or to the mall. Go and see a movie, or go to the zoo. Whatever you like to do, now is the time to do it. It will not only take your mind off of your situation, but you will physically feel better.

when a couple gets separated, they need time to think about their marriage. Don't call your spouse constantly - this will lessen your chances of getting back together soon.

It's OK to contact them every once in a while, to see how they are doing, if they need anything, etc. When you DO talk to them, keep the conversation fun. Don't bring up the problems your marriage was having - you can deal with those later - when you are back together.

Some of the best marriage separation advice that I have heard is this: Treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. Think about how you would react to different things. If your spouse started calling you all of the time, how would you feel?

No one can tell you how long the two of you will be separated. But by thinking about the reasons WHY you separated, you can come up with ways to avoid those same mistakes when you do get back together again.

5 Steps to Marriage Separation Reconciliation

When a married couple hits a rocky patch in their relationship, many just choose to grin and bear it. However, when that rocky patch stretches into weeks and months, it can sometimes feel like there's no end in sight. At this point, many couples opt for either divorce or marriage separation.

For many couples, marriage separation is a viable alternative to divorce. For one, it allows them to keep legal, financial, and insurance-related instruments belonging to them as a couple intact. And on the relationship level, a separation gives the couple the chance to live apart while they try to work out their problems while remaining married.

In many cases, after a period of separation the couple will decide to make another go at the relationship. This is understandably a decision fraught with feelings of insecurity and uncertainty. But it can also mean the road to reconciliation.

If you were at that point where you were thinking of ending your separation, here are 5 steps to marriage separation reconciliation:

1. Before making a move, do a reality check with a trusted friend or family member:

The circumstances leading up to a marriage separation differ tremendously from couple to couple. Sometimes, at the height of our marital problems, the truth about what's what can become a little bit cloudy for most of us. Looking back at the time you were together, it can be hard to be objective about what actually went on, who was at fault, etc. Therefore, before making a move toward reconciliation, meet with a trusted friend or family member in ask them their opinion about the chances for your marriage being successful if you give it another go.

2. Write out a list of things that you would need to have changed in your spouse before you were to reconcile your marriage:

Next, it is important to be honest with yourself about what you would need to have changed in your spouse for you to be able to get back together. This is usually necessary in particular if there was something like extensive cheating or physical abuse in the relationship.

3. Now, write out what you are willing to work on within yourself:

In a similar vein, write down those things that you are willing to work on within yourself. Nobody's perfect, and your only chance of success is if you both recognize your flaws.

4. Ask your spouse for a meeting:

When you feel ready to move forward, ask your spouse for a meeting. Choose a location that does not hold any historical significance for you as a couple. In other words, find a neutral meeting space. Let him or her know that you will be wanting to talk about the relationship; no surprises.

5. Speak using "I feel" statements and avoid blaming statements:

As you explore your marriage in conversation with your spouse, be sure to always speak from the position of "I feel" statements. At the same time, avoid statements that place blame on the other person. Blaming-type statements will only evoke a defensive attitude in him or her.

Once you get the dialogue started, take the time to learn skills that any relationship requires to be successful.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

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