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SELF-LOVE AND NARCISSISM

WHAT BEFELL A MAN WHO BECAME ENAMORED WITH HIS OWN SELF?

By Meshack MuthianiPublished 9 months ago 8 min read
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Ah! Do you hold a greater affection for yourself than anyone else? Are you devoid of uncertainties about your appearance? Are you confident in being more attractive, intelligent, and captivating than others? Do you consider yourself the epitome of excellence? Is the mirror your primary source of admiration? Well, in that case, congratulations might be in order. It's possible that you're exhibiting traits of narcissism.

The term denoting this peculiar psychological condition finds its origins in ancient eras, as per Greek mythology. The appellation "Narcissus" was associated with a captivating figure. The narrative surrounding him imparts the lesson that excessive self-regard can pave the way for manifold complications. The motives underlying narcissistic behaviors possess justifications, yet prior to delving into those, an exploration of the myth is warranted. Presented below are various renditions of the tale of Narcissus:

He emerged as the offspring of two mythical beings. Upon his birth, a prophetic seer conveyed to his parents, "Your progeny shall endure as long as his own reflection eludes him." Consequently, they purged their abode of mirrors and other reflective surfaces. Narcissus blossomed into a striking young gentleman, his physical allure captivating all who beheld him. Nymphs and maidens of the vicinity felt enamored by his appearance, but Narcissus held no fondness for anyone else. His penchant led him to wander amidst the woodland, relishing in the consumption of fruits and the harmonious melodies of avian choruses.

Amidst the blossoms and trees, a nymph by the name of Echo chanced upon him one day. Right then and there, an affection for him took root within her heart. Over time, she found the courage to express her emotions, only to be met with Narcissus' rejection. This turn of events shattered Echo's heart, propelling her to flee and seek refuge deep within the forest's embrace. Overwhelmed by sorrow, she abstained from sustenance, her melancholy overwhelming her.

Ultimately, she drifted away, leaving behind nothing but the resonance of her voice. This ethereal echo reverberated among the foliage, capturing the attention of one named Nemesis. Infuriated by Narcissus' dismissal of the nymph, Nemesis resolved to deliver retribution. Thus, she orchestrated Narcissus' fall into self-love, a punishment befitting his actions.

On a certain day, Narcissus caught sight of his own reflection in a tranquil pond and found himself captivated beyond measure. For countless weeks, he gazed upon his own visage with an enamored heart, until vitality gradually slipped away from him. Having forsaken sustenance throughout this period, he gradually faded, leaving behind merely a resplendent flower by the water's edge. This blossom came to be known as "Narcissus," an appellation derived from his very name.

In an alternate rendition, Hera imposed retribution upon the nymph Echo due to her involvement in a transgression concerning Zeus. Hera's decree rendered it inconceivable for Echo to communicate in a conventional manner. Henceforth, she was confined to the ceaseless repetition of words she heard. Thus, if one were to inquire, "Is it a bird or a dinosaur?" her response would invariably mirror the query, "Is it a bird or a dinosaur?" Such a circumstance, undoubtedly, could prove to be vexing.

Unwilling to endure the weight of such a curse, Echo sought solace within the depths of a somber cavern and resolved to remain there until the passage of her days. After an interval, she chanced upon Narcissus traversing the vicinity. In an instant, her existence took on a renewed purpose, kindling an affection for the young man. Yet the predicament of confessing her emotions remained. Hindered by her speech affliction, Echo resolved to seek aid from the encompassing woodland. Possessing mystical prowess that bestowed dominion over creatures and trees, she enlisted the cooperation of birds and the rustling leaves to convey her sentiments to Narcissus in a manner that transcended her vocal limitations.

Promptly discerning the nymph's affection toward him, the young man's response was swift and unequivocal—a resounding refusal. His preoccupation with himself and an aversion to the prospect of sharing his existence with others led him to this decision. It's possible he held no fondness for anyone, or perhaps he sought an unattainable embodiment of beauty that the natural world couldn't furnish. For Echo, who was already laden with sorrow, this rejection only deepened her despondency. Retreating to the shelter of her cavern, her heartache found release in tears. Stricken, she withdrew from sustenance and hydration, committing herself to an eternity within those depths.

In the waning days, Echo beseeched Nemesis to restore equity and exact retribution upon Narcissus for his hubris. Nemesis heeded her plea, bestowing upon him a fate wherein he would know love solely for his own reflection, thereby extinguishing any capacity to love another. On a sweltering day, Narcissus sought respite by the pond's edge to temper the heat. Kneeling to partake of its waters, he beheld his reflection anew. In that fleeting moment, the seer's prophecy materialized. The sheer enchantment of his own appearance held him captive, ensnaring his gaze upon the watery mirror. So entranced was he that he forsook sustenance and hydration, his thirst left unquenched, for the allure of his own visage was unrelenting.

Narcissus, driven by his fixation, bent ever lower, until he succumbed to the depths below, never to resurface again. Despite the forest nymphs' efforts, he remained elusive. In his stead, a resplendent flower with delicate white petals emerged upon the shoreline, an homage to the once handsome youth who bore its name.

Amidst the nymphs' lamentations upon the terrestrial realm, Narcissus found himself consigned to the underworld, where even there he remained ensnared by his self-adoration. His fate condemned him to an eternity fixated upon his reflection within the river's depths. This narcissistic fixation held him in a hypnotic thrall, perpetuating an unending cycle. The perpetual gaze upon his own image rendered him perpetually betwixt states of profound discontentment and fleeting elation. Such a disposition evokes little sympathy, for narcissistic tendencies seldom kindle affinity among people.

An alternate rendition of the renowned saga offers a rationale for the young man's conduct. Chronicled within the writings of a celebrated Greek voyager and geographer, a portrayal of Greece emerges. Within this narrative, Narcissus finds himself graced with a captivating twin sister, their resemblance akin to mirror images. However, a fateful and tragic day marked the loss of his sister, shattering Narcissus' heart. Subsequently, upon encountering his own reflection, his fixation didn't stem from self-love but rather from a profound reminder of his departed sibling. His gaze was an attempt to maintain a connection with her, refusing to sever the bond once more. While this rendition imbues the narrative with a heightened poignancy, it remains a myth that elucidates a distinct facet of human nature.

Narcissistic individuals are consistently preoccupied with notions of their achievements, magnificence, physical allure, and an idealized form of affection. They hold a conviction of being unparalleled and superior to their peers, gravitating toward interactions exclusively with those they deem equally exceptional. Dwelling within an intricate realm of fantasy, narcissists cultivate narratives of their own grandeur. While self-love is a natural inclination, it can at times manifest as excessively potent.

Establishing a connection with narcissists can prove intricate, as their focus centers solely on themselves, often resulting in a deficiency of empathy. Their capacity to comprehend others' sentiments is limited, rendering them ill-equipped to discern emotional nuances, such as your tears provoked by a poignant film, which a narcissist struggles to grasp.

Amidst these less desirable traits, narcissists possess a remarkable charm. Their company tends to be delightful, adept at evoking laughter and capturing attention. Self-assurance often draws others in, rendering them appealing individuals. Imagine leaping from an airplane with a parachute—easygoing for those equipped with one, yet a considerable ordeal for those without. Similarly, jetting off to a foreign land seems like an exciting prospect—until the complexities emerge. Nevertheless, forging a genuine friendship with such an individual proves intricate. Emotional connection becomes a challenge, inhibiting the sharing of joys, sorrows, and the entire spectrum of sentiments.

Complexity doesn't necessarily define narcissists, as their character is often rooted in a certain simplicity; they relish their nature and take pleasure in it. This disposition takes shape and evolves over the years, its origins tracing back to early life. Consider a scenario where parents lavish praise exclusively upon their child's achievements and appearance from the very moment of their birth. "Did you triumph in the swim competition? Wonderful! Did you pass the exam? Excellent! You're so handsome. Great job. You're destined to be a skilled doctor, firefighter, or lawyer."

This outlook appears appealing, doesn't it? Yet, what about the inner realm, the realm of feelings? If no one acknowledges this realm within you, appreciating it within others becomes a challenge. Your attention gravitates solely toward superiority and the sensation of accomplishment, given that your parents showered affection only on these facets. Consequently, an appreciation for these qualities extends to others as well.

Should you bask in popularity surpassing even the fantastic, narcissists are likely to gravitate toward you. It's conceivable that the mythological progenitors of the character Narcissus, captivated by his beauty, inadvertently overlooked the cultivation of his moral compass. Every individual necessitates the nurturing of inner sentiments and states to circumvent the emergence of an emotional void. Narcissistic individuals endeavor to assuage this void with adulation and commendation, yet these external affirmations prove inadequate substitutes for genuine love. Consequently, many narcissists grapple with inner turmoil, their suffering stemming from this profound emotional deficit.

Thankfully, contemporary strides in psychology offer avenues for alleviating narcissism. Therapists adeptly navigate patients through their remote emotional experiences, aiming to pinpoint the underlying triggers that fostered narcissistic tendencies. Convincing an individual engrossed in self-admiration to embark upon this journey requires the acknowledgment that something is awry within them—an admission that presents a formidable test for those who harbor an excessive self-regard.

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