Roses are red, V- Day is Poo.

Let’s be honest, the only thing more obnoxious than Valentines Day itself is when someone calls it “ValenTIMES Day.” Either way, unless you are in a Disney movie, it is statistically better to celebrate the whole thing solo. Having a relationship with yourself just can’t be beat. Really. And buy yourself some flowers while you’re at it. You’ll get the ones you love with no strings attached.

This Valentines Day, whether you are healing from a heartbreak and needing a few songs to exacerbate the condition (Come on now...we’ve all done this) or you are all healed up and treating yourself to those flowers, and a journal called “To mine own-self be true,” I’ve got the play-list for you.

A good, solid play list should not just be about your primary emotions, but your secondary emotions as well. It doesn’t make you Schizophrenic to experience a wide range of emotions all at one time. A play-list to reflect that seems more genuine to me than one that settles on any one bent. The chapters of our lives are more about healing, empowerment and turning pages to propel ourselves forward than they are about getting stuck, groveling, and spending too much time in a place the Victorians called “The Mullygrubs.” I love that word by the way; so deliciously descriptive. But I digress.

I’ve always been known for two things in this particular department (Play-lists) Number One: I have a song for everything. And I do mean everything. And Number Two: I tend to lean toward the obscure. In other words, I don’t mind the obsessive task of finding JUST the right song for the occasion. So with no further ado, let’s get down to business.

First things first here: a bit of introspection is always in order. Our first song is “The wounds we bled” by Heather Nova. Particularly apropos, with the line “I'm finding pieces under rugs, forgotten words, candy hearts...” but the beauty in it is the truth in it. Pain is the greatest teacher most of us will ever know. Let’s face it, we don’t change and grow without some struggle. We are indeed better for the wounds we bled. Embrace it.

Next up is “Scars to your beautiful" by Alessia Cara. Nothing...and that means NOTHING is ever completely good or completely bad. Everything is exactly as it should be; in perfect and harmonious balance. That includes you! We are imperfectly perfect beings. No more photo shopping those perceived flaws. We all gravitate to the imperfections in things without even being conscious of that. Be yourself! Let it all hang out. Seriously.

Olivia O’Brien drives that message further home with “Love Myself.” It’s okay to not know who you are, where you’re going, or what you’re doing. That’s all a part of being human. Those are things we sort out as we go. But in the meanwhile, remember that there is not one single person in charge of your self worth, and it is quite alright to remind certain people of that when they step over that line and try to define you. NOPE! Send them back to their lane. And love yourself!

Okay, now that we have brought things into their proper perspective, let’s sing, dance and laugh with Kelsea Ballerini in her totally awesome “I hate love songs.” With lines like “I hate pink hearts with glitter and Valentine's dinner... and roses just die in a week”, I'd say we are in the right space for this ridiculous holiday.

Sometimes great wisdom comes from the oldies, as in the case of “I Can't Go for That (No Can Do)" by Hall & Oates, circa 1981. This is the story of things running smoothly in a relationship until you suddenly find yourself feeling suffocated by a weighted blanket that has been doused in gallons of water. Um. NO CAN DO. Sing it loud and sing it proud. It’s a catchy tune and you may find yourself singing it all over the place. But be careful with this one if your boss is making a request of you. Just sayin'.

Next is another great oldie, Billy Idol’s (1985) “Dancing with myself.” Even Billy Idol danced with himself. But more importantly, he made a dance party of it! That’s the spirit! Break out your tutu, or not. Old weekend P.J’s are perfectly acceptable. And if you binge watch Netflix for the remainder of the weekend, it doesn’t matter. You’ve had your workout with this one.

Natasha Bedingfield’s “Single” is just so absolutely validating and empowering at the same time! I love this song because it doesn’t fall into platitudes...the idea that we must “endure” being single or that it is a necessarily negative state. Rather, it celebrates the exhilarating freedom of life with the toilet seat down. The sheer joy of sleeping sideways in the bed, having uninterrupted “friend time”, and living in a shave optional zone. I know that last one does not apply to everyone and may gross some of you out. But that’s real talk. Dive into it!

Okay, time for a deep breath and a heavy sigh. Push your curtains back a nudge and float away with the strangely therapeutic “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac. Seriously no “Single” play-list should be without this one. It’s a mix of haunting melody, combined with hard truths and a certain revelation that we are all being washed clean by the rains in our life. Oh, very nice. Yes. As an added bonus is there anything more delightful than watching Stevie Nicks in action? No. There is not.

And, as if absolute perfect timing, here comes “Miss me more” by Kelsea Ballerini. Kelsea brings us a hard driving and relatable experience in this wonderfully catchy tune. Sometimes when we miss a partner, it’s okay to consider... what exactly are we missing? In the end, it’s probably a short list. Break out that journal we touched upon earlier. “To mine own-self be true.” And take a few notes. What part of YOU are you needing to get back in touch with? Yes, yes. Keep writing!

I saved the best for last. The “It's Valentine's Day Song” by the Merrell Twins. If you haven’t heard it before now, I envy you the experience of hearing it for the first time. And this brings us to our final emotion as well: perspective. Perspective is everything! Re-frame the day, my friend. Wherever you are on Valentines day, someone somewhere can relate.

A final note, I think it’s okay to gently reprimand people who say “ValenTIMES Day.” Throw a cupcake at them or something. Just my two cents.