Relationships

In any relationship, trust, loyalty, and respect are the foundation for a strong and healthy bond. However, sometimes relationships can become plagued with issues such as cheating and abuse. Recognizing the signs of these toxic behaviors is essential in order to protect ourselves and make informed decisions about our relationships.

I was in such a toxic situation, for 15 years I felt like I was stuck with the person who I thought I could love through them their issues. Obviously that wasn’t the case, no matter how much you love them and care about them, a narcissist will always bring you down. He was very controlling and demanding most of the time. In public though everyone loved him. He was such a charmer. I never really understood why people never saw the other side of him like I did.

One of the most prominent signs of a cheating partner is a sudden change in behavior. They may become secretive about their phone, guard their privacy more intensely, or even become hostile if questioned about their whereabouts. Constant lies and excuses for their actions can also be red flags. Additionally, a decrease in emotional and physical intimacy may indicate that their attention is being diverted elsewhere.

He was constantly having affairs, one after the other, most often I would never know, not right away anyway. I would eventually find out, either because he would slip up or there would be evidence of his affair. It was a never ending cycle. He would try to hide his phone from me but I was still able to see sometimes that he was talking to other women.

Abuse, on the other hand, is a much more serious issue that can have severe long-term effects on individuals. It is important to be aware of the signs of abuse and take necessary actions to protect oneself. Physical abuse may be evident through visible injuries such as bruises, cuts, or broken bones. However, emotional and psychological abuse can be more difficult to detect, as they leave no physical scars. Signs of emotional abuse include constant criticism, humiliation, control, and manipulation. Verbal abuse, such as name-calling or belittling, should also not be ignored.

The worst of it was the time he gave me a concussion and a broken hand. It was awful, I stayed in bed for days not wanting to get up, I just wanted to give up, but I couldn’t, I had young children at the time who needed me. So I pushed my feelings aside and pretended that everything was okay. Even though it wasn’t. I covered the bruises with concealer and moved forward.

Taking steps to overcome a relationship plagued by cheating and abuse can be challenging but necessary for one's overall wellbeing. It is crucial to seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can provide guidance and advice. Building a support system can help individuals gain clarity and perspective, and can also provide a safe space to share their experiences and emotions.

It took me years to overcome that relationship and had to come to terms with all the emotions, negativity and anger, anxiety and the pain from it.

Eventually it becomes easier every day until it doesn’t feel like it will drown you.

Now I try to tell my story and see if it can help anyone else may find themselves in a similar situation.

Setting boundaries and communicating effectively with your partner is also key. Letting them know that their behavior is unacceptable and expressing your needs can be empowering. However, it is important to remember that change can only occur if both parties are willing to work on the relationship.

Ultimately, it is essential to prioritize one's own happiness and safety. Recognizing the signs of cheating and abuse allows individuals to make informed decisions about their relationships. Seeking help and support, setting boundaries, and communicating effectively are all crucial steps towards overcoming the challenges presented by these issues. Remember, you deserve love, respect, and a healthy relationship.

Please remember that you are loved and if you are in a relationship that is not healthy please seek help.

If you are in an abusive relationship please seek professional help immediately.

Do not go through this alone.