Reflections

It's about that time of year.

The time when I start looking back over the year and highlighting different parts; the good, the bad, the ugly, and everything in between.

A past therapist gave me a list of questions that I've returned to when doing my year-end reflections, as well as questions to lead me into next year. I've had some interesting revelations.

When I started the year, I was anxiously preparing for my first-ever surgery (I was told that wisdom teeth removal doesn't count). I was a mess, scared and worried and unsure of how things would go, despite the confident reassurances from literally everyone in my life. The surgery went smoothly, and I'm no longer anemic, no longer have to take iron pills, and am no longer fighting for my life for a week every month.

I also was working on a good feeling that I had about the upcoming year concerning my writing. I've been working on querying and rewriting as the years continued, but nothing has gone through. I don't know what it was, but I felt that 2023 would be a transformative year for my writing career. Though I hoped it would lead me to publishing, that didn't turn out to be the case. What did happen, however, was the improvement of my writing craft. I've found a process that allowed me to dig deeper and be organized enough to whip out novels and revise efficiently, building in backstories so that I have a coherent narrative. I'm looking forward to getting "Awakening" published since it will be the best story I've ever written.

My best friend had been encouraging me to create a Tiktok account to start building a following in preparation for when I'm published and trying to sell my books. I was hesitant since I'm an introvert and didn't believe that I would be able to come up with interesting, relevant content. I took the leap of faith and created the account, lurking for a few months before just going for it in June. As of today, I have 1164 followers, I've built a fun community of writers, and my viewers continue to grow. I haven't missed a single day of posting, and I don't think it will stop anytime soon. (You can follow me at jwritesfiction on Tiktok!)

There were a few other milestones this year; losing my grandma, starting my ninth year as an educator, and paying off my bills from the surgery and appointments leading up to it.

I got serious about my health, building an almost daily exercise habit that I was able to continue even into the school year. I bought dumbells and started following along with workout videos. Recently I've started upping the anti, varying my workouts to focus on different muscle groups, and paying closer attention to what I eat. It's a serious area of growth for me since I used to be obsessed with the little changes in my weight and trying various diets to try and lose weight. None of these would work long-term, and I would always fall off. But now that I'm older and wiser, I feel more purposeful about this weight loss and the methods that I use to achieve it. I'm even talking about my workouts with my friends and family, which is something I never even would have considered before.

All in all, this has been an amazing year for personal growth for me. Some of the things that I started in 2022, such as being more aware of how I see and think about myself, as well as making changes to the things that I didn't like, really took off in 2023.

My word for 2023 was 'possibilities.' I knew that there were so many things that could happen if I just opened myself up to the possibilities, and I wanted to remind myself of that. Normally, my word of the year comes after a lot of reflection and prayer - this year, however, God saw fit to just plop it in my lap.

Limitless.

If I push past limits - my strength as I strive to get in better shape, my doubts about my own abilities - then there's no telling what I can do. My ultimate goal for myself next year is to not put limits on myself. I know what milestones I want to hit, and I'm going to work hard to get them.

I plan on taking the next couple of weeks off for Christmas and New Year's (though, if I have a spark of inspiration, you'll be seeing me). In the meantime, I hope that you and yours have an enjoyable holiday and get some rest! I certainly plan to!

"Limits, like fear, is often an illusion." - Michael Jordan