Please Don’t Be A Toupee Ted

“Do I really have to go? What if he’s a weirdo, he could murder me and it would be all your fault Abby.”

“Seriously Rebecca, I think you’re being a little dramatic, don’t you?”

“No I’m not, if I recall the last date you made me go on was a complete disaster. Ted was the worst, so bad he will forever be known as Toupee Ted. His awful looking toupee blew off in the wind, landed in my soup and it splashed all over me. He then attempted to wash and dry it in the bathroom Abby. He came out looking like Albert Einstein and went on like nothing happened. I’m not going on anymore of your blind dates.”

“Oh come on Rebecca, not every guy will be a Toupee Ted. It was one bad date, you have to get back out there. I know you miss Elliot, but its been three years since he died. He would want you to move on and be happy.”

“Yeah sure Abby, he’s probably looking down from the great beyond mocking me, laughing his ass off over Toupee Ted. Elliot was my forever and always. How am I supposed to just move on and forget about him? I can’t, besides my next date will probably turn out to be a Spit Spatting Steve or something.”

“You’re being ridiculous Rebecca. I actually met this guy. He’s pretty good looking if I do say so myself. His name is Max. Im about 99 percent sure he has a full head of his own hair. He’s an accountant at Bright Cellars, maybe you can get a discount on some wine if it goes well.”

“What the hell Abby! You set me up with some highfalutin wine drinking know it all. He’s probably going to be like, “oh look at me drinking my fancy glass of Merlot. I’m all knowing of everything wine.” Then continue on to be super snobby and order me a salad for dinner.”

“Max is not like that at all Rebecca. He’s a nice guy, just trust me this time. You might even have a little fun if you let yourself. Now go get dressed for your highfalutin date. He’s picking you up at seven.”

“Fine Abby, but if this date turns out bad I’m never speaking to you again.”

“Oh whatever Becca you love me and you know it. I’ll see you later, let me know how it goes. Call me when you get home.”

“I will call you later, to give all the horrible details I’m sure are going to happen”

After Abby leaves Rebecca slowly made her way upstairs to get ready. ‘I can’t believe Abby is making me do this,” she thought to herself.’ She started to rummage though her closet and all her dresser drawers. Absolutely hating everything she pulled out. Rebecca finally decided to wear a nice simple purple sun dress. She quickly fixed her hair and put on some light makeup.

Rebecca went back down stairs to wait for her dreaded date to arrive. As she was sitting there waiting, she happened to notice that her so called dream date Max is late. ‘Oh good maybe he just won’t show up. I really don’t want to do all those awkward conversation staters,” she thinks.

A few moments later Rebecca heard a knock at the door. “Damn it, here we go I guess,” she muttered to herself. Rebecca got up to answer the door. She stood at the door for a few seconds before opening it to greet Max. When she did open the door, Rebecca was pleasantly surprised to find Max was indeed quite good looking. ‘Well he probably is a snooty wine drinker, he can’t be handsome and a perfect date at the same time,’ she thought.

Rebecca reached her hand out to Max to introduce herself. “Hi, it’s nice to meet you Max.”

“It’s a pleasure meeting you Rebecca, sorry I’m late I was a little busy sipping on my fancy glass of Merlot.”

“I’m guessing you talked with Abby before you came,” Rebecca said with a giggle in her voice.

“Yes, Abby called me right when I was heading out the door. I got the 411 and I can assure you that my tupee is locked down tight and ready for full force hurricane winds.”

Rebecca laughed, “Thank god, maybe this date won’t be such a disaster after all.”

“Maybe steer away from the soup just in case. I’d hate to ruin your pretty dress, but I would like to mention my hair is all natural,” Max exclaimed.

“Well that’s good to know. Should we get going to our soup free dinner now?”

“Of course,” Max said as he carefully grabbed Rebecca’s hand and walked her to his car.

The car ride to the restaurant was slightly awkward. They hardly spoke a word to each other on the way. Rebecca felt like the highlight of the date was over. ‘Perfect, just perfect I knew this was to good to be true,’ she thought.

Max and Rebecca pulled up to the restaurant. They both get out of the car and walked inside. The waiter escorted them to their table and they sat down.

“This is a pretty fancy place,” Rebecca said. The restaurant was very beautiful, lovely lights dangling everywhere, pretty flowers for the centerpieces on the tables. ‘I guess he does have nice taste in restaurants, I’ll give him that,” Rebecca thought.

“So what’s it like being an account at Bright Cellars? Is that a pretty boring job? I feel like being an account isn’t very exciting.”

“It’s actually not too bad,” Max replied. “It’s a great company to work for, plus they pay you in fancy wine.”

Rebecca let out a small chuckle. “I knew it, you are that highfaultin wine drinker I thought you were.”

Max let out a loud laugh. “You caught me, I even brought my own spit cup.”

By this time the waiter came back to their table. “May I take you drink order?”

Max replied, “Why yes my kind sir, we each shall have a glass of your finest Merlot.” Rebecca bursted out in laughter. “Umm.. ok sir I’ll be right back with that,” the waiter said with a confused look on his face.

Still laughing, Rebecca was thinking, ‘Wow, Max is actually pretty great. I can’t believe I almost decided not to come tonight.’

As the night went on Rebecca and Max continued to have a fantastic time. After dinner they took a short stroll to a cute little pastry shop down the street. Rebecca was in awe with how well the date was going. ‘Abby is definitely going to rub this in my face when I call her tonight,’ she thought.

When they finished their dessert Max drove Rebecca home. This car ride was the exact opposite of the first one. Rebecca and Max laughed and joked almost the whole way back to her house. She did not want the night to end.

Max parked right in front on Rebecca’s house. He jumped out and ran around to her side of the car, opened up the door, reached for her hand and said, “my lady.” She grabbed his hand and replied, “Thank you my kind sir,” and they walked to her front door.

Rebecca was standing there nervously, not knowing if he would lean in for a kiss. This was the first time in a very long time Rebecca actually wanted a kiss. They both looked into each other’s eyes, Max slowly inched his way closer to her and gave her a seductive kiss on the lips. Rebecca got chills up and down her spine, ‘Amazing,’ she thought.

“I had a really great time with you tonight Max, you know since you’re a snobby highfalutin wine drinker and all. I was prepared for the worst.”

“I had a splendid good time with you as well Rebecca,” he said with a smile on his face. “Abby gave me your number so I will definitely be calling you soon.”

They both said their goodbyes and Rebecca went inside her house. She leaned against the door for a moment with the biggest grin on her face.

All of a sudden Rebecca’s cell phone started to ring. She reached for it in her bag and pulled it out, and seen the name Wine Guy displayed on the screen. ‘Haha, seriously Abby,’ she thought. She answered the phone and said, “Well hello there Wine Guy.” She hears Max’s voice, “Excuse me Ma’am, have you by chance seen my toupee?”