People think differently, it’s ok

How many times have we had this argument? 20 or maybe 30 times, I don’t seem to be able to get through to you. It really doesn’t matter how much I explain or how hard I try to communicate effectively, you just never seem to be able to get what I am saying, or maybe you choose deliberately not to understand, maybe there is a bias in your mind preventing you from accepting the truth, my truth. Looking back at it now, maybe it wasn’t a bias, maybe the problem was somewhere else. I could have guessed your experiences led you to believe the wrong thing, but I think the underlying problem comes from your way of thinking.

I believe our way of thinking varies from each other, it is true that we all share the same notions of logic which are supposed to drive us to the same conclusions, but I think how we get to those conclusions can be different and the conclusions themselves could have variations. It's easy to feel like everybody in a room thinks or feels the same way you do when given the same bits of information. In a lot of ways and for many persons that's true, but I believe it's important to keep in mind that not everybody thinks the same way as you do or at least not everybody has your experience.

We haven’t all gone through the same experiences, and so our way of reasoning isn’t going to always be the same.

Some people grew up in harsh environments, for example, and believe that everybody should be hardworking, while others grew up in a very easy going environment and feel like the world should be a better place. Looking at these two different kinds of persons, it's obvious that we won’t all come to the same conclusions on every subject.

Such discrepancies are intensely felt when you are trying to get your point across, the discussion often evolves into a debate where you find yourself on a stand trying so hard to prove your point. Despite all what you say and do, it seems the other party really can’t get you, and they keep on arguing, but what is happening there? Well, the answer is simple, you both don’t think alike and the experiences you’ve both been through has led you to think differently.

Resisting

You can’t fight against people’s way of thinking, changing a person’s mind isn’t an easy task either. The best you can do is to understand things from their perspective and once you do so, you figure out a way to get your point across using their way of thinking. It's a hard thing for people to realize and accept that others think differently from them. There are a lot of conflicts which occur because of that, hatred, jealousy, envy and much more.

Experiences and how they shape us

We all live in unique environments, and they shape not only our lives but also our way of thinking, they dictate our feelings and very often our actions. We could experience the same things, but because we are in different environments, the conclusion we come to will be very different. Most people go through hardship and come out stronger from it, meanwhile others go through hardship and come out either greedy, bitter, vengeful, wicked etc

There are definitely other factors at play here but the point I am trying to make is that we have different experiences which shape our lives and our way of thinking, so don’t be surprised if you can’t get along with somebody or if you can’t get your ideas across to others. You have to first acknowledge that people think differently.

Finding the balance

In order to achieve your goal of communicating, you must be willing to meet the other person where they are. Imagine trying to talk Spanish to an English crowd, obviously they won’t understand a single thing you say. When you find yourself in an argument with someone who never really seems to get the point you are trying to make, that's a sign that you are both not thinking on the same wavelength, or maybe he deliberately chooses not to understand what you are saying and is more interested in the conflict. The laziest solution would be to try to use the other person’s words and logic so that they can best understand, but a deep reflection into the experiences and rationale of the person will permit you not only to know where they are coming from but also what leads them to the conclusions they make.

Here is an example, smart people have a hard time understanding and relating to people who aren’t as smart as them even on ideas which don’t require being that smart mainly because they can’t wrap their heads around why the other person doesn’t understand, to them the logic speaks for itself meanwhile the explanation is as simple as the other person never learning that logic. When they take the time to acknowledge the gaps in the knowledge of the other person and break things down in simpler terms then they both can come to an understanding, think about it, you already do that with the elderly.

Conclusion

Don’t assume everybody is going to think in the same way as you or come to the same conclusions you do, even when presented with the exact same information. We are all from different environments which led us to a different way of thinking and even though we might share a common understanding of certain things, our conclusions might be worlds apart. Instead of entering into a conflict of words, it is better to try to get an understanding of where the other person is coming from so you can best choose your words for optimal effectiveness in your communication.

Thanks for reading ☺️

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