Past Relationships

And karma said, “You will fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you, for not loving someone who did.” — Unknown

Past Relationships

They say past relationships won't affect your new ones but that's a lie because they will.

In a new relationship you start over and question every little thing from "why haven't they texted me" to "do they really love me?" because being used and hurt causes these feelings.

From personal experience, I dated behind my family's back. Within those past relationships, they weren't the best nor the worst. I remember falling in love with my best-friend and we were alike in more ways than one.

We'd play fight as friends, talk, and joke but never did I think my sophomore year I would have gotten a chance with him. Yet, that... "CHANCE" seemed more like lie in its self.

Was there magic? Maybe... Just maybe... and just maybe there were fireworks but I was used, hurt, cheated on and made look at as a fool.

My heart was broken, shattered and intertwined with guilt and shame but then we became on/off but we were never made official but saw us as gf/bf. It was funny because behind closed doors he showed affection and things he said with likable/lovable attitude.

To others, he talked shit about me behind my back. Two years/half this went on and our friendship ended. When senior year approached he reached out and changed.

Now call me stupid but we're friends now and our relationship as friends has never been better. Yet, do I sometimes compare my new relationship to my old? Yes, but when you've been hurt and used by more than just romantic relationships in sense to family...what can you do but that.

Even more with my relationships, I dated a guy I was on/off with. My feelings were on/off with him and they never really ever seemed right. He was a good guy but he mostly wanted sex and I didn't.

As a virgin, I planned to stay like that and with him I did.

Before he and I started dating I used to make jokes about his childhood friend, who happens to be a really good girlfriend of mine that they would end up together.

Funny enough 2 years later here we are... they're dating and I'm happy for them. He's a different person now and before they started dating me and him both apologized to each other for our actions and such.

Call me nuts or crazy but I've always learned to forgive but never forget and to move on.

If you don't you'll end up making yourself go crazy.

Now another one my relationships wasn't as great and couldn't even be called relationship. My friend who is actually one of my best friends right now used me back then and cheated on me with his girlfriend of 7 years if I remember correctly. Believe me, I will never drop the names of these people in this article or any of my articles I write. I never knew he had a girlfriend and she didn't even live in the same state so how lucky was that? Lust was more of his friend than anything.

I got used and I even got put as a bet between the first boy I mentioned and the one I'm mentioning now. Funny enough they happened to be best-friends and somewhat they still are but not as close.

Call me a slut and what you want but I stayed virgin and innocent more then people know. I never really ever had sexual feelings in high school because I was always kinda afraid of sexual interactions.

Believe it or not, I had feelings, actual feelings for these kids. At one point me and this boy tried to actually date 2 years later but it lasted for a day because we realized we didn't match up. We just weren't compatible as partners but as friends.

Now he and his girlfriend of 7 years are still together and I ended up finding out they were broken up at the time when he and I got together. It's funny what rumors can do when you give power to them, by believing in them.

I actually ended up meeting his girl at our prom and she is amazing and I can see she loves him very much and I can see he loves her too even if the mom of one of our best-friends is sure to her heart that he likes me still.

No, I don't have feelings for him back.

We are friends and that's it.

I have feelings for only one person and that's my boyfriend, who I never want to lose.

The guy I was previously speaking of before, him and me are closer now. We talk about our relationships, give each other advice and help each other figure things out.

These boys are more like brothers to me now and nothing more than that. Are they still best friends to me? Yes and no because it's obviously complicated... Do I trust them? I'm still learning to trust people in general.

Now my last ex he was the worst I guess well maybe, not as much as the first or maybe worse. Haha...Thinking about it makes me laugh because all these past love experiences gave me lessons.

They taught me things that school couldn't. Life experience shows and gives so much more then what a piece of chalk can show on board.

I did forget one ex but his name always reminds me of a drink. We lasted about a week and that was because I fell for my best friend of seven years, who I am dating now and have been for five months.

To me, it wasn't fair liking two people at the same time. It was fair. So that was the end. But my last ex hurt me and cracked my heart in half. You can't believe everyone that tells you they love you.

Anyone can look at you and say those three delicate words without the slightest interest in meaning it. One of my articles dear, the boy who broke heart is about my last ex.

If you would like to read it.

I even have long distance relationships with this one guy and this one female but they were some of the best relationships.

Then again not if one of those long distance relationships made you worry about them because you didn't know they did coke, till they call you that they're in the hospital because of an overdose.

Past relationships will make you question and try to somehow wrap your head around the idea why your new love even loves you. I question that almost every day.

Maybe it's my anxiety or because of my past experiences but when you look back on it all, you gotta thank those people for allowing you to learn those lessons and notice the signs when a person is just playing with you heart.

Understand when I say we're not in high school, we're grown up now and there is no more point in playing high school games. Yeah, we can act like little kids, fight like children but when it comes to acting like adults... ACT LIKE IT.

Past relationships are going to affect your future ones, but you have to remember and understand what your now partner went through. Put your ego and pride aside, understand they don't need judgment but love and reassurance that you won't do the same crap those past individuals did.

Yes, you'll get tired of those people that compare and worry that you'll do the same things or your relationship will end the same way. Yet, have patience, love them and reassure them you worry about them and that they mean everything to you.

Never forget to make the person you're with now feel enough for you and make sure to never forget to make them feel like they're wanted.

It's the worst feeling to feel. I know it way too well.

Alexia Villanueva
Alexia Villanueva
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