Old-fashion Loving

A while ago I wrote an article about romance and asked is romance dead? This article proved to be very popular, with many writing to me telling me that they do think romance is dead.

So I have decided to follow that piece up today focused on the same topic.

I would have to agree - there really doesn't seem to be much of good old fashioned romance in the world.

Now I know we are all slowly coming out of lockdown and there are a number of concerns in the world that are affecting many, but even in history, when people were living through wars and rations, romance was still very much alive.

Flowers would be sent. Heartfelt letters would be written. Doors would be opened for women by their respective partners and respect would be shown. Where is the respect now?

If a date doesn't end up in bed with you, that's considered a bad sign! And I am not just talking from a man's point of view. Women think this too.

Unfortunately, we live in an age of the risk of being cat-fished. Where people are manipulating others to get them to fall in love with them. How crazy is that! Or women will spend all day talking online to rich men, pretending to love them, in the hope of landing a 'sugar daddy' because they don't want the responsibility of earning their own money.

There are also many in relationships that are not great, but stay as they need the financial security.

Is this romance? Is this love or is it all based on fear? Fear of being alone or fear of taking responsibility for your own life?

Bring back the days of old fashioned courtship I say. When women respected themselves to talk to the guy, get to know him and connect on all levels before getting physical. When men made the effort to impress the woman face to face and enjoyed the company of one woman and not feeding many others at the same time with their lines.

Unfortunately, love has become a bit of a circus these days. People are quick to go all in and quick to go all out whenever it suits them. True commitment is all too easily forgotten.

Is it due to the many apps out there making it too easy to date online and create fake profiles or is it that many of us have just given up trying to find the best relationship and make it work?

So how do we change things and make them better? How do we bring back old fashioned dating again?

First of all, you have to be aware of what you are looking for when it comes to love. Are you looking for quick flings and happy to continue casual dating with no commitment or are you looking for a long term relationship and commitment?

If you are looking for something long term, you need to be willing to set some boundaries. You need to be willing to invest the time and effort to take your time when getting to know someone and not be in a rush to make it down the aisle or move in together.

Having forever with someone special is beautiful, but rushing it to be something before it is ready to be that thing is very different.

Good things are worth waiting for.

Trust your instincts and don't just put up with any kind of behaviour. If you feel that you are not being respected, address it and see what happens. If things change for the better, that's great. If not, leave.

Your life and your journey is important and being respectful of your time and who you are is important in the journey of love.

Evaluate regularly - Are you crying and getting angry more or are you laughing and having fun more? See which part you are doing more. If it's crying and getting annoyed more...you know what to do.

Appreciate each other and value each other. You and your partner are not a toy that you choose to play with when you feel like it and push to one side when you are bored.

You want to invest the time to be together and don't be afraid to share who you truly are. Pretense only lasts for a while, but reality lasts forever.

And finally romance, romance, romance. Let romance lead the way and romance the heck out of each other. It's more fun and very sexy!