Not a Part of the Group...

I know I’ve been saying for a long time that I will do something lifestyle based and so, I am doing a lifestyle blog about things that happen on a day-to-day basis. I will be talking about my experiences with various things, some things will come back over and over again because my days are very much similar. If something else happens then it happens. Hopefully, you and I can get along and I can go along and tell you a little bit of a story about this experience I’ve had and then we’re going to talk about it. I’m going to discuss my reaction and my thoughts on the experience afterwards. Not only am I thinking about getting a dialogue going, but I’m also looking to make friends with people who have probably had similar experiences to me. Not only that though, maybe we can have a bit of a laugh and rethink this shit - maybe our minds can be changed and enlightened together. Or, you can just be here to enjoy the story and listen to me ramble on. If you want to read this in my voice then I kind of sound like a cross between Freddie Mercury and Scar from the “Lion King”. So get the full ‘experience’ there. So immersive.

Not Part of the Group...

At the ages of 16-18 (so about eight years' ago at the time of this article being written) I didn't really have many friends. I had moved school and thus, nobody really wanted to be around me. The people who I thought were previously my friends actually weren't at all and I'm going to talk about a key experience that made me realise that. One that I never really forgot. It's pretty sad when I remember it but I do thank the experience because I don't feel obliged (and never have) to keep in contact with any of them. They are awful human beings. (Any names will be changed or given letters for the sake of privacy).

When I was in school from the ages of 16-18, I would sit on a desk near about four other girls. I thought that these four girls were my friends because of the fact they always spoke to me and always joked with me (even though most of the jokes were at my expense). I was considered a bit strange because I wasn't much of a talker later on in my teens and I began to get really introverted. The reason for this was because I just didn't feel it was worth it. During my teens at a different school, I had been a bit of a troublemaker and now, I had given up. So, because of the fact I didn't have a lot of friends, I just wanted to get my head down and study and most of the time I just couldn't be bothered to make the effort in other things - I was basically made quite a few jokes about. I don't understand how that works either but it wasn't even that bad.

We went on a school trip to a historical location and so, I walked around with these girls when we had some free time to explore the shops and you were always advised to walk in groups (for some reason, I never understood that with all this technology we had, was there still a mandatory requirement? Apparently there was, so I respected that). But when we went into a shop selling soaps and bath bombs, I was actually mid-conversation with one of the girls in our group and I turned my back for about ten seconds. When I turned back, they had all practically left me there and walked off really fast down the street. I decided that I knew where I wasn't wanted and walked the opposite direction to the church. I turned on my tracking app and just kept going around for the next two hours before I returned to the coach.

They didn't really say anything to me when we went back on the coach and they also decided not to sit with me as they did on the way there. I didn't bother to bring it up but I knew that they had done it on purpose because well, they were never really my friends were they? The next time I showed up to class, they had moved seats and one person actually told me that they were only pretending to be my friend so that they could make jokes about me. Now, I always knew that my appearance was a point of jokes, and that I really didn't mind. But these people made fun of my personality - something they didn't even know.

The moral of this story is: don't really trust anyone, especially if they're making jokes about things they don't really understand. I wouldn't have minded if they had told me that they were going to leave me to go somewhere else. But they made a point of taking off when I wasn't looking. From time to time, even my teacher would make jokes about the fact I didn't have any friends. Yes, it hurt. But don't trust people just because they say they're you're friends.