My wife met a handsome young man through Internet chat

My wife and I are rural people, currently working in the city because growing up poor and afraid, so there is a special hunger for money. Or I can talk, or I am more diligent in the work, in our children in kindergarten that year, I was fortunate to know a big boss, and on the other side of the introduction, can also contract some small projects every year. I have no culture, in the level of dealing with people, and can only use drunkenness to show my sincerity. Since I became a small boss, basically every day to live a drunken life. For years, no matter how late I came home, my wife would be lying on the living room sofa waiting for me. Sometimes, I feel particularly ashamed of my wife and children, but for the sake of my career, I am particularly helpless in the face of social engagements. Now, my wife and I have been married for more than ten years, and the city where I am currently working also has its own house and car.

In the past year or two, my wife seems to be accustomed to my long time home life, no longer in my social time in the living room sofa waiting for me to come home, sometimes I was drunk by friends sent to the hotel sleepover, my wife will not call to ask about it. Every time this happens, I feel very lost inside, but who am I to blame my wife? In fact, in the years of my career, I have accompanied a partner to colored places, and every time, I do not move those dusty women, at best, let them drink with me, and nag me.

Now, my marriage is lit up with red lights, stemming from the fact that my wife has spent more than $30,000 in the last month, something that never happened before. The general situation is this: the wife through the network chat met a college student and the other very handsome, the wife in just a month, in the other side of the body throwing gold 30,000.

After learning about this, I cried a lot: 1) crying about my years of struggle on the road; 2) crying about my wife's betrayal of my marriage. I admit that I am a bit macho, and in the face of my wife's betrayal (she kept apologizing to me afterward), I chose to divorce. Now there is only my life and my children's life, I feel empty in my heart, and I even have no fighting spirit for my career. I know very well that I can't go down this road. I want to ask: How can I actively cope with life after divorce?

Muzi Li's emotional analysis.

I believe that in the process of growing up everyone has at some point had the urge to strangle others, and ultimately chose to give up because the mind will have such thoughts: killing is to pay for life. I believe that your wife can also understand that you are busy because you have to let her carry too many widowhood days, but your wife finally failed to endure loneliness and difficulty resisting the temptation of face value, and so do the betrayal of marriage. Since your wife broke the moral bottom line, she should bear the results of divorce. Divorce for you and your wife is certainly a lose-lose, but you know very well that if you do not choose divorce, you have no way to do real forgiveness.

Because you have suffered a lot growing up, so you know the importance of money, know the importance of family, so that you are not willing to the betrayal of marriage in the face of the dusty girl and you also hope in your bones that your wife can keep the marriage faithful, but unfortunately, your wife gave you a cuckold, in this case, you are not willing to allow your wife to correct the mistake, without hesitation, you choose to divorce. After the real divorce, it is difficult for you to adapt to life without your wife around, will feel empty in the heart, please believe that after you get used to the way of life with children dependent on each other, the divorce you will slowly let go of this matter. During this period, you can temporarily bring your parents to take care of you and the children's food and living.

You know very well that you can never let yourself fall because of divorce, but you have finally devoted too much to your family, resulting in the divorce itself hurting you quite a lot. However, one should not dwell on the sad memories after all but move forward bravely, perhaps time is the cure for you to get out of the shadow of divorce. Before you get out of the shadow of divorce, you must be strong to face your career and use your children as your motivation to fight. At the same time, a little warning to you: about your wife's betrayal of marriage, you also have some responsibility, after all, your wife and children accompanied by less time is an objective fact of life, if you have the opportunity to reunite the family, must be in the new married life, more to the family accompanied.

People live a lifetime is quite difficult, especially since the family base is relatively thin, if the career level invests more, will naturally reduce the company of the family; if the career level does not pay more than ordinary people's efforts, in the city to achieve the dream of a house will be a very difficult task to complete. We often see the phenomenon: the original intention of making money just want to let the family live a more decent life, but because they are too focused on making money itself, resulting in the couple's relationship has become weak, and even in exchange for the results of divorce. However, when you are not focused enough on the level of money or will be replaced by your lover's complaints that you are not capable. Married life is sometimes a gamble: you bet your lover can be faithful to the marriage, and your lover bets you are a potential stock. Once one of the marriages fails to keep the spirit of the contract, the marriage will be over.

Perhaps the difference between people who come from small places to work in big cities and people who were born and raised in big cities is not only the distance of a house but also the support given by parents at the career level and the lack of many more affordable contacts. You also get a big boss who is willing to carry you after your life has improved many people who work in the city are far less fortunate than you, so much so that many people who work in the city will eventually go to school because of children, can not afford to buy a house in the city of work and other reasons, had to go home after more than a decade in the big city. Compared to these people, you are more successful. For this reason, in times of grief, you need to present an attitude of self-relieving: your life is not the most miserable.

In the face of life, sometimes learn to self-transition, especially when the trajectory of life did not go according to their plans, to remind themselves: life is not as good as nine out of ten, and see their more successful side, to cheer themselves up. After the gloom of life is dispersed, you will find that you could have been stronger. There are too many people in life who may only be with us for a while, so life and death are also normal partings of life. When some people are removed from their lives, people as emotional animals, there will certainly be some emotional changes, but still have to believe that the future can be expected. When one's mind is not depressed, those unpleasant things in life themselves, but also are rubbish.

Editor's note.

People in middle age, once involved in a divorce, the probability will show a lose-lose pattern, especially divorce due to extramarital affairs, after the divorce, betrayal of the marriage party will be particularly remorseful, stemming from the divorce will find that because of a momentary taste, they paid a heavier price. Another harsh reality: most people who get involved in extramarital affairs do not form a reunited family with their lovers after the divorce, meaning that the involvement in extramarital affairs will not only cost them their families but may also knock them back to their original form when they were married.

Unfortunately, many truths are learned from bitter experiences, before they do not reap the painful lessons, often overestimating their strengths, not even comprehending that betrayal of marriage can be a surprisingly heavy blow. However, some remorse will accompany them for the rest of their lives, from some people from their side after pulling away, there is no possibility of coming back together.