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My Mediocre Take On How Communication Is Essential To Getting What You Want

by Marissa Matthews 4 years ago in humanity

Communication is KEY to life. It's literally that simple.

Wow, they're talking, how easy is that! 

I understand and recognize that I am coming from a place of privilege, education, and good parenting, and as a result of my circumstance, I consider myself not a total idiot when it comes to communication. I also acknowledge that there are different types of communication, such as verbal and nonverbal communication along with physical communication. It is something that happens all around us, every day of our lives and sometimes you may not even know it! But it is definitely an essential part of our society and without communication, we would be even more of a mess than we already are if you can believe it or not. ​​

Communication is an interesting word because some people LOVE it and others HATE it. I like it, very much. I'm one of those people who think it is necessary in every day life. You want to know my thoughts on why? Because if you do not know what or how to communicate, then you can't get anything you want in life and personally I think that's no way to go about living.

I think communication is extremely important in every aspect of your life, whether it's your social life, your personal life, your intimate life, your career, your family life, your education, and with yourself. You need to know how to communicate in order to have a chance of getting what you want in any of these aspects of your life. If you want a raise at work, but you don't communicate that to your boss, then how are you going to get it? If you want your partner to do certain things during sex because you enjoy them, but you never communicate that to them, then how are they going to know if you don't use your words? If you hate a certain type of food but that's where all your friends want to go for dinner tonight, if you don't say something, then you're not going to be able to eat food that you like. If you want your uncle to stop harping on you about not having a job at 15, then you need to tell him to stop in order to get what you want. If you want to be paid the same as your male counterpart then you need to ask for it and in our case, fight for it. You want an extension on your paper so that you don't have to rush it because you have three things due at once? If you never ask for the extensions then you never get them.

With the focus on communicating to someone by talking, I am the type of person who says to someone who is mad at me, "Yo, what is the problem here?" BECAUSE in order to fix the problem or to know the reason a person is mad at me is to find out why they are mad... and how do you do that? BY COMMUNICATING! WITH WORDS! I am not the type of person who gives people the silent treatment, especially when I'm almost 23. You want to adult? Then learn how to communicate. Do you know what happens when you give a 24+-year-old a silent treatment? From my experience, THEY MOVE ON from you, especially in our millennial generation. Most of us do not have the time to deal with that.

On one side, I get it. Sometimes you don't know how to say how you feel, but on the other side, trying to express your feelings to a loved one or a friend is better than not trying and then losing a connection or losing them completely. When you can't communicate what you want, then generally you won't be able to express yourself in whatever way you need. I'm also aware that some people are better with words than others. I get that some people don't mind confrontation and others hate it. I get that some people just don't like talking. I can be like that too at times, if you can imagine! One way that I have used over and over again to help me get through any uncomfortable situation: I just think to myself that what is happening is a simple conversation. Conversations are easy and I have them with people all the time. It just happens to be about a more serious topic or what I want this time.

So if you're the type of person who never asks for what you want in whatever aspect of your life, then you're probably just settling for what you're given. Don't get me wrong. Some people are fine with settling and that is okay, but settling is not for everyone, nor is it what everyone deserves. If you're someone who wants more than what life hands you, then you need to ask for it. You need to communicate where it needs to be said in order to be content and happy with what you've worked for.

If you want something, but don't ask for it... how are you supposed to get it? Wait until life hands it to you? THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. If you want to make sure you get up on time the next morning, you need to ask yourself what's important so that you can do it. How you communicate with yourself is just as, if not MORE important than how you communicate with others. If you have a good talking relationship with yourself, that sets the framework for how you will talk with others as well.

Bottom line is communicate what you want to those who need to hear it in order to be happy. If you want something then ask for it. No one has the super power of reading minds.


Marissa Matthews

Read next: Stop Sexualizing Children

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