My Husband Treats Me Like A Roommate (Rekindle The Passion And Love In Your Marriage)

It is very rare that someone is lucky enough to never have heard or never have said the words: "Not today, honey..." A lot of people take this with the same ease as the partner's rejection of the second cup of coffee. But some of us feel like their pride is wounded and like they've been rejected at the moment when the need in intimacy is at its peak. Even the most durable couples can collapse as a house of cards if one of the partners constantly feels unwanted and rejected.

Today the number of couples who turn to medical specialists for help due to this problem has increased drastically. Doctors advice to think about closeness and not about sex as it is not the same thing. For example, let's take the analogy from the world of things: modern TVs have the picture appear on the screen as soon as you turn it on, but not a lot of us know that even when the TV is off it draws a certain amount of energy from the circuit in order to be constantly ready.

The point of this analogy is that we should not expect that the desire will constantly remain at the high level without the slightest efforts on our part. Unfortunately, the reality is everyday life lacks romantic air causing the desire to gradually fade since the partners get used to each other. The complete unity achieved by making love is like an antidote against the "poison of habit". Only intimacy gives you the confidence to freely talk to each other about anything and everything.

When a patient complains that they are bored since he/she knows everything there is to know about their spouse, very often it turns out that these partners have not even been really talking for the last 2-3 years. For example, a woman that has been married for 10 years developed a crush on her coworker and was really worried about the fact that she is more compatible with him in the emotional aspect than with her husband. It turned out they even had the same favorite movie. And when the sexologist inquired about her husband's favorite movie, she became flustered and couldn't even answer the question.

So as much as you think you know and feel your spouse, your knowledge can turn out to be out of date. After all, there is not a single day without new impressions and experiences.

Business women have a lot of problems. Women like this think: "I've worked hard all day, and if I just hug him and cuddle with him, it will not end there..." For some reason she thinks that there is no way her spouse will understand how she feels. And tenderness does not necessarily mean sex and usually a simple touch is more preferable than keeping physical distance.

When it comes to sex, the biggest difficulty is that couples assign too low of a role to it in their hierarchy of priorities. And sex should be an indispensable constituent of their everyday life. Some protest saying that the spontaneity is killed by regularity: what if one of the partners will not want to have sex when the assigned time comes? That's excellent! Use this time to just talk or play cards. Frequent sexual intercourse may not be that necessary for healthy marriage, but you can not do without emotional closeness, which actually sharpens the appetite for sex.

Communicate more! Some people don't exchange a word about their feelings and emotions for years even though they live together. I doubt that a man would try guessing at the restaurant what steak, well done or rare, his woman prefers, he would simply ask her about it. It is inconceivable though how many people wait on their spouses to figure out all on their own their preferences when it comes to love making.

It is very useful to refresh the happy days in your memory. Intellectual stimulation and closeness are as necessary for a person as sex is. Indeed, if you try to figure out how and why you were first attracted to your spouse, then most likely you will come to a conclusion that your love started not as a physical attraction but as an attraction to a personality in all its aspects.

Surprise each other! Have you heard about a man who's been married for a very long time and who preferred to have sex on his right side? It was the only position he could watch TV in. How are jokes like this born? Allowing distractions to interfere with one of the greatest pleasures in life is simply blasphemous. Of course complete predictability can bring all desire to nothing, but it is not necessary to be so predictable.

People usually smile when asked about the time when sex life has brought the most happiness to them. They start telling stories about trips and long walks on the weekends. But when asked about when was the last time they did that, they can't even remember.

There is a tendency to discuss your best impressions from love making without using the sexual terms. The arousal was created more by the environment or certain circumstances rather than by some sexual techniques. Compare the best moments you've had in the past in your marriage to what it is now. You are very likely to find a difference in your prior activities, talks, walks, unhurried lunches together. If you are trying to rekindle the desire today, think about it: maybe this new stage in your marriage that you long for so much is just a well-forgotten past?

Be realistic. Couples that suddenly find out that they can function without sex can find some comfort in the fact that their situation is far from being unique. Although it is hardly a reason to rejoice... Therefore stop looking at life through pink glasses hoping that in a marriage sexual attraction will always remain as strong as at the very beginning of the relationship. The statement that in successful marriages sexual interest to the partner grows over time is not true.

Try to look at the situation from your spouse's perspective. Sometimes sexologists offer their patients to role play to help them experience the feelings and emotions of the "other half". For example, a man irritates his spouse by constantly hugging and kissing her while she is making dinner or doing laundry. She keeps telling him to leave her alone but the persistent macho doesn't. The doctor offered this couple an exercise in which a wife is trying to seduce a husband to make love while he is trying to do some serious task. He got the point right away.

Each couple has to experience what is called "the scissors of the desire" or in other words, the inconsistency of his and her desires. If one of the partners is constantly lacking sex, he or she should offer the other person to take the initiative into their own hands for some time. This too will help to see the situation from another person's perspective and understand his/her behavior. Switching places from time to time is actually very useful!

Most couples struggle with intimacy at some point. They're either both too tired, too stressed or simply not that interested anymore. It doesn't have to be that way. If you miss the intimate moments with your spouse there is help. Don't waste one more minute wishing things were different in the bedroom, change it now by visiting this Helpful Site

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