Monogamy vs Polyamory

We are in the midst of the 21st century, and that means that relationships have evolved, giving way to new ways of loving and being happy. On one hand, we have Monogamy, an old acquaintance with relationships of two, strong and indestructible (well, that is if you don't go through one of those emotional storms that tear everything down). And on the other hand, Polyamory, which has come stomping like giants to break those stale schemas and show us that you can love several people at once and be truly happy. Now, not everything is rosy, there is also science behind this, and precisely psychology in the midst of its studies shows us the advantages and disadvantages of each type of relationship.

Monogamy: The tradition that persists for a simple reason

Monogamy gives off that familiar aroma: we limit ourselves to one partner and thus guarantee a picnic in the camp of our comfort zone.

Those who oppose Monogamy must be thinking: Monogamy is Monotony. But we know it's not. A romantic relationship doesn't have to be boring just because you choose one person. In fact, exploring the depths of love and desire with someone long-term can be an unforgettable and enriching journey. Discovering every corner of their being (and discovering ourselves discovering them) is a journey that doesn't have to end in boredom.

Although polyamorists may not believe it, there are long-term benefits to choosing a single partner.

Sense of belonging and exclusivity: Exclusivity in a monogamous relationship can provide a strong sense of belonging and security in knowing that your partner chooses and values ​​you above anyone else.

Lower risk of sexually transmitted diseases: By limiting sexual relationships to one partner, the risk of contracting those issues is significantly reduced compared to non-monogamous relationships.

Emotional security: In a monogamous relationship, there is an exclusive commitment between two people, which provides a sense of emotional security and stability in the relationship. In other words, there are fewer conflicts related to competition: By avoiding competition with other people for your partner's attention and affection, conflicts and insecurity in the relationship are reduced.

Monogamy Facilitates long-term planning: By exclusively committing to one partner, it is easier to make long-term plans together, such as buying a house, establishing a career, and building a shared life. Don't they say that the best things in life take time?

So, for those who believe that the term "monogamous" is synonymous with "outdated", perhaps it's time to reconsider their prejudices.

And do you have any idea what the last of the benefits of monogamy is?:

Family Stability: Monogamous relationships often provide a more stable and predictable environment for raising children, which can promote healthy development and a powerful sense of security in the family.

This last paradise is the strongest anchor for those conservatives who defend the relationship of two.

Yeah, yeah, I can feel the energy of those who are reading this and defending polyamorous relationships. I know they must be thinking: can there be a notion of family in a polyamorous relationship?

But well... let's not tilt the balance: if monogamists have their arguments, let's see what the other contender in this love competition has to say.

Polyamory: Breaking Schemas and Feeling Free?

The polyamorous individual is one who challenges conventional patterns and in the name of freedom, opens their heart to multiple lovers. There is its definition. We're not talking about the polyamorous individual being unfaithful. It has nothing to do with it. Just as you, monogamous, truly love one person, the polyamorous person sincerely loves more than one person.

"Is this really possible?" shout the monogamists, deafening me.

Polyamory stems from the desire to embrace love in all its forms and with multiple people. Just like love for children: it multiplies. But here comes a question, is this type of relationship as good as it seems or is it a recipe for insulin disorder? Polyamorous relationships also face their share of drama. Some dynamics suggest that a 'primary couple' often emerges, while others resemble decorative guests.

Is polyamory then a subconscious attempt to conceive and have the security of monogamy with one hand but savor bipedal delicacies with the other?

We reiterate the question: in a polyamorous relationship, is there equal love among all? Let no one opine: in any case, each polyamorous relationship has its dynamics.

Surely monogamists must be wondering: besides sex obviously, what could be the advantages of a polyamorous relationship?

Okay, here are five benefits:

Greater emotional diversity: In a polyamorous relationship, you can experience a wider range of emotional connections, as you have the opportunity to develop intimate bonds with multiple people. Flexibility in needs and desires: By having multiple partners, you are more likely to find people who can satisfy different aspects of your emotional, sexual, and social needs.

Reduction of pressure on the main partner: By having multiple partners, not all emotional, social, and sexual burden falls on one person, which can reduce pressure and responsibility on the main partner.

Freedom to follow natural attractions: Polyamory allows people to follow their natural attractions and emotional connections without feeling restricted by monogamy's expectations. Polyamorists are free... we said free, not libertine. In that order of ideas, there is also greater resilience when breaking up with one of the members of the relationship because of course: By having multiple affective connections, breaking up with one of the members of the relationship may not have the same devastating impact as in a monogamous relationship, since you still have the support and love of those who remain.

Constant learning: By interacting with multiple people, you have the opportunity to learn from different perspectives, life experiences, and relationship styles, which can enrich your understanding of the world and yourself.

Greater sexual satisfaction: By having the freedom to explore your desires and sexual fantasies with multiple consensual partners, it is possible to experience greater sexual satisfaction and a greater diversity in intimate experiences.

In summary, polyamory can open the door to exploring different forms of emotional, sexual, and romantic intimacy, such as triadic or group relationships, which can enrich your love and emotional life.

This practice is not legally accepted, and in fact, it is sanctioned by Western doctrines of law, which consider monogamy (precisely the opposite) as the only viable marital and family option. However, it is practiced in many other cultures, especially in Asia and the Middle East, and in Utah, USA.

Within the religious sphere and especially Christian, the Bible indicates, for example, that Abraham, Jacob, and other servants of the Lord had more than one wife (see Genesis 16:1–3; 29:23–30; 30:4, 9; Judges 8:30; 1 Samuel 1:1–2).

The eternal battle between quantity and quality

Polyamory resembles the child who wants all the candies in the store. One delicacy after another until he's stuffed. Monogamy, on the other hand, is like a wine tasting. You're not chugging every bottle, but you're tasting, learning, refining your exclusive palate. In the end, you only need that one bottle that satisfies all your tastes. What role does sex play in our happiness? Do you prefer tasting or the all-inclusive buffet? Do you prefer to live sexually exploring all the limits with one partner or does it make you happy to accommodate each personality, each body, each of your partners' tastes in polyamory?

I took a look at three sexual benefits of being monogamous:

Reduced risk of sexually transmitted diseases: By limiting sexual relationships to a monogamous partner, the risk of contracting STDs is significantly reduced compared to non-monogamous relationships, as long as both members of the couple have been previously tested for STDs and maintain exclusive sexual relationships with each other.

Greater intimacy and emotional connection: Monogamy fosters an intimate and exclusive relationship with a partner, which can lead to greater emotional connection and trust in the bedroom. This emotional intimacy can translate into better communication and understanding of both partners' sexual needs.

Less concern about sexual competition: In a monogamous relationship, there is no concern about sexual competition from other people, which can reduce anxiety and stress related to sexual performance. This can allow for greater relaxation and enjoyment during sexual relations, thus promoting sexual satisfaction in the couple.

And I also found three sexual benefits of polyamorous relationships:

Exploration of sexual diversity: In polyamorous relationships, people have the opportunity to explore a variety of sexual experiences with multiple consensual partners. This may include experimenting with different sexual preferences, fantasies, and erotic practices, enriching the sexual life of those involved.

Satisfaction of multiple sexual needs: With the ability to have multiple consensual sexual partners, people in polyamorous relationships can satisfy a wider range of sexual needs and desires. Each partner can offer unique and complementary experiences, leading to greater overall sexual diversity and satisfaction.

Promotion of open sexual communication: Polyamory encourages open and honest sexual communication among all involved partners. This communication can address sexual preferences, boundaries, and expectations candidly, facilitating the creation of a safe and satisfying sexual environment for all members of the relationship.

But well, what matters at the end of the day is our right to choose without being judged for anything as long as we are not hurting anyone. Whether you opt for monogamy or polyamory, the essential thing is to find happiness on your own terms without forcing or violating others. And let's be clear, is the "happy ending" really fundamental in our love relationships? Perhaps, true enjoyment lies in the shared journey, in each of those moments flavored with high doses of laughter, love, understanding and also, why not, intense debates and disagreements that, in the end, further spice up our life as a couple (or couples).

In any case, I raise my glass. Let me make a toast to love, however it may be! After all, love is the only thing that sticks to the soul and the only thing we will take to the grave.