March Brain Dump

Life is so hectic. I have been trying to get back to writing for months now. Get back to doing so many things. I want to start so many projects too. And it is just all so choppy in my head and on paper as I try to brain dump. I don't know if you've felt spring fever every year (my bipolar contributes to that craziness too), but it feels wild. I'm feeling choppier and flightier and tireder (yes I said that) than ever. Just going crazy, why don't you come along with me? Have you heard that song?

Anyway, back to whatever point I was trying to make. I'm awakening from the winter slumber. I've tried writing for almost nine months and can't grasp much more than a few lines of poetry. I've been more successful in going to work, tutoring students, being more present with my children, and my bedtime schedule. So I wonder if there's a tradeoff in my life. Do I only write when I burn the midnight oil and ignore everything else? So much of my energy goes into working with students, cleaning, and mothering. And writing takes a lot of energy too.

I want to accomplish so many things--even simple things. Like, I'd love to have a clean house, a clean car, an organized office, homemade meals, write an article a day, and children who bathe regularly. Instead, like so many other parents, I have stinky laundry piles, dishes strewn across two levels of the house, piles of dog hair dust bunnies, and yellow toilet bowls. Particularly, I have four boys who wrestle each other and fight over what mods to put on their Minecraft server, and a barking dog who demands affection, and lots of hugs. Well, my husband and I wrestle them into hugs.

What do you want to have or accomplish? What happens instead?

I have big ideas that I would like to do. I've always wanted to build student housing, married student housing, low-income housing, and a homeless shelter. That doesn't sound like a lot, right? My brain ponders on ideas and ways to fund it. I read articles about providing affordable housing and wonder what I could do. I mean I could do many things, but not much gets done because I am involved in feeding several bottomless pit stomachs already. We tried renting our first house just a little above the mortgage and we ended up stiffed multiple times. We lost thousands. So any housing has to at least break even. But I've thought of a perpetual housing fund. I believe Salt Lake City plans on doing something like that.

My other big idea is in broad categories of tutoring or child care. I want to have ESL classes for children and adults at my house. It'd be cool to have conversation classes in many languages too. I could also do little groups teaching basic reading and math skills to kids. I will hire a bunch of teacher assistants so they have summer jobs.

Currently, I am gauging interest in a field trip summer day camp. I'd hire a few adults and we'd take preschoolers to teenagers to local attractions during the summer. I do about one adventure a month with my kids now, but I know if I am expected to take other kids and be paid for it, I'd do more adventures like bowling, playing at the park, swimming, or going to museums.

What big ideas do you have? Do you think any of them will come true?

My brain has more to say, but I am getting physically tired. That's what I hate--that my ideas never match my energy or reality. Some ideas come to fruition if it doesn't take more than a few hours to do. Well, a few minutes to do. But I'll get something done today. One small step.

I think I'll go order pizza.

I usually write some schpiel here about following me on a bunch of social media sites and so on and so forth. And I ask for tips, likes, subscribers, or some such dither. So pretend I wrote all that. And thanks for whatever you decide to do.

Who wants pizza?