Love the girl next door

Haylee was not supposed to be my One, the one who would make me or break me. The one who could get past all my walls and still live to tell the story.

Haylee was supposed to be the mean girl who stuck gum into my hair in the first week of elementary school.

She was everything she needed to be -- until her family moved next door. Our mothers bond over the inclusiveness of modern suburbia. Haylee and Haylee stared at each other through the fence that separated our backyards. Our mothers exchanging giddy delight over the prospect of bake sales and other PTA bliss.

My mom said to me, "You girls be kind to each other," as she stood at the sink washing dishes. "You never know when your friend might be needed."

My mom was putting plates after plates on my head to dry my hair, and I tried to not sulk. I didn't tell my mom the true reason for the gum in the hair. I didn't need a tomboy haircut for my hair to be fixed.

Why did I keep quiet? Because I knew from the beginning that Haylee was a beautiful girl, with her golden curls and blue eyes. No one could believe her.

This was actually a self-fulfilling prophecy that I would recognize over the years.

Haylee could not have done anything wrong, especially if I was in the area to take the blame.

What do you think was like?

Kris, Oh, My God! Have you ever looked in the mirror? Your grandma would like her clothes back."

Haylee's jab was ignored by me. It was the same routine that we did every day. My flaws would be criticized by Haylee in front of everyone else in the hallway. I would simply go through the steps. It was like watching a sketch on SNL. We did it until we graduated. What were the remaining months? I needed to keep the countdown going.

Haylee and her cronies laughed behind me and exchanged whispers until I was done retrieving my textbooks. Then, I turned the other direction.

I was only inches away from being smacked in the face by a hand that slammed against my locker.

Haylee asked me, with a purr in her voice. I knew that she was going to be very cruel today. Our mothers tell us to be nice. They'd be very disappointed if you ran away and didn't chat with me as a good friend. Krissy, what do you think?

I imagined an explosion. It would break through the hallway, creating a cyclone that included me as its epicenter. The locker doors creaked as their hinges were removed. Maybe I'd transform into Godzilla or another creature, and be able finally to stand against my good friendHaylee.

I gave her my best ice-queen smile. Haylee, aren't you all punctual? You're going to make me late for Mrs. Webber’s class, and your girlfriends.

Haylee narrowed the eyes and her eyeliner became wings at her edges. Haylee didn't like this -- nobody had the nerve to call Haylee for gossip about her and her relationships with her lackingeys. But what could she do? Her mother was the one who had to hear everything that happened at the school.

Haylee said, "You make my sick," her voice dropping to a whisper akin to the flickering of a snakes tongue.

My smile was thin for show. "Likewise. "I think this is the only thing we can agree on."

Then, I passed her, not daring to imagine the queen bee of school's reaction when we next crossed paths.

You may be asking: Was she really shaming her bully for being homosexual?

Let's get this straight. She Outed Me First.

Junior high. Molly Draper's basement. Spin the bottle. It's easy to imagine what happened.

I was left crying in the rain outside.

All I can remember was the laughter around me when the bottle hit Haylee. She glared at my face before she said, "Oh Krissy, that'd be great, wouldn't it?"

Before I could speak, I ran out of time.

However, I could just as easily have told everyone that I liked girls.

Haylee's cruelty cemented everything in everyone's minds.

We've taken many different paths since then.

She chases me, even though I try to avoid her.

One day, I may be able to repay the favour.

When I went to the prom fundraiser, I should have known that I would meet Haylee's mom.

She exclaimed, "Kris!" Haylee and me had managed to fool our mothers into thinking we were as chummy as possible. Perhaps we were not called to our roles and could have been young Oscar nominees. "How are you hon?"

Through a grin on my face, I replied "Great." "How are you?"

Haylee's mom stated, "Peachy. Just peachy." "Have your chosen a school yet?" Are you still waiting for your letters?

I'll go wherever Haylee isn't.

I replied, "Just a few state-run schools." "Nothing too far away from home."

Haylee's mom said, "Good, great," before escorting me to a nearby restaurant. Do you mind if I get these vouchers? I also wanted to know how many people are in my household."

"Will do."

Haylee's mom bustled off, so I stood at my desk, only to be greeted by Haylee, the queen-of-me, entering the room.

Haylee came up to me and I tried to not show emotion.

"Wanna ditch?"

First, I tried to pretend not to hear her but she then let out a loud sigh.

She said, "You're no fun Krissy." It was hard to imagine her pout for the room. "Aren't we supposed to be best of friends?"

I should have continued to ignore her.

I should have done my job and left as soon as possible.

Instead, I turned my back and confronted her directly. " Are you the reason that we aren't friends? Or don't get it?"

Krissy, stop being such a spoilsport!

My turn was to let out a deep sigh. "Fine, let us go outside." Only five minutes.

I chose the exit that led to the dumpsters. Haylee frowned at me.

"Couldn’t you have chosen a better spot?"

"Speak what you want. "We have to get our money back."

"Don't think it's sad we don't get along?"

These words could have punched me in my stomach on another day, but right now, I felt tired.

"Haylee! What are you trying to say?"

"This is our last year together. It's supposed to be fun. Instead, we hate each other.

"And whostarted it?" Do you remember who put gum in your hair in the first grade?

Haylee smiled actually. "I was jealous that you had a pink bow on your hair. "Did I ever tell?

"Does it even matter?"

"Krissy! Come on --

She tried to grab my wrist but I refused. "No. No. Your actions have made my life miserable for many years. You think that a little "hey, sorry, let's forget about it" speech will erase everything?

Haylee's bottom lip began to tremble. Kris, it was only a few laughs.

"Yeah, well it was torture for me ."

"But -- but did you ever wonder why it all happened?"

"What, aren't you ready to make amends?"

"I was trying get your attention. You dope -- it wasn't easy!"

These words were not true. What did they have to do with now, even if they did?

I just shook the head. "So, what? "So, what? You thought that mind games were a great way to show your love?

"Kris -- "

"Don't. It's too late. It's too late.

"You won’t give me a chance?" "Just once?"

I didn't even answer her. It was pointless.

I left.

The girl next to me -- I may have once loved her.

Today? Even though I hated her from far, I was happy.